Bachelor Mother (1939)

Lovely Polly (Ginger Rogers) is laid off after Christmas from a department store, when she is mistaken for the mother of an abandoned baby. After the store owner’s son (David Niven) becomes involved for some reason, she is coerced into accepting a stranger’s baby as her own. Will love bloom?

A rom-com requires conflict, some kind of predicament to motivate the story. This predicament is pretty irritating. Polly is literally blackmailed into accepting the baby despite her protests. This element simply doesn’t play well today.

Luckily things improve from there. The trope of the sassy out-upon young woman and the rich, irresponsible playboy is a successful one, if a bit well-worn. And who better than Rogers and Niven in the roles? Bachelor Mother features snappy dialog and some fairly amusing moments. AMRU 3.

This makes three for three this season for non-Christmas Christmas movies.

Black Christmas (1974)

A young woman in a college sorority goes missing, because she was murdered. Her father and sorority sisters investigate while dealing with an obscene caller.

Lots of familiar faces appear here. Our protagonist Jess is played by Olivia Hussey of Romeo and Juliet fame. She was quite charming. Her sisters include Margot Kidder and someone who looked like a young Andrea Martin, who turned out to be a young Andrea Martin! Jess’ boyfriend is played by Keir Dullea, from 2001. I'm sorry, Dave, but dating a college girl when pushing 40 is more than a little creepy.

Credited as the first slasher film, it actually has very little on-screen violence. What it does have is some excellent cinematography that effectively builds tension. The unseen killer is revealed only by quips said on his calls and from his POV shots. Little character scenes, like Kidder's foul mouth and Mrs. Mac's antics, give the impression of a fuller, lived-in world.

Respected by people beyond gore-heads, Black Christmas has been on my radar for quite a while. It sets some of the tropes of the genre that would be codified in later films, but strays significantly. Only tangentially a Christmas movie, it is set during the Christmas break and has holiday lights in just about every scene. But it does not disappoint as a horror flick or a film in general. AMRU 4.

Christmas in July (1940)

Jimmy (Dick Powell), convinced he has good ideas, submits a slogan in a contest and waits for the results. The judges can’t reach a decision, so Jimmy’s co-workers send him a prank telegram. The coffee company, thinking the telegram is real, pay him the $25,000. Comedic mayhem ensues.

Jimmy doesn’t deposit the check, but instead shows people so that they let him have stuff on faith. This is reminiscent of the Mark Twain story “The Million Pound Bank Note”. Here, however, Jimmy has no reason to believe he isn’t the authentic winner. And let’s consider for a moment how insane a $25,000 prize is. Adjusted for inflation, it would be over a half million dollars. That’s one hell of a contest. Preston Sturges only got $6000 for the script.

The company holding the contest was Maxford House Coffee who used the slogan “Grand to the Last Gulp”. Sounds familiar. It was a less litigious time. Old friend William Demarest returns, again with a silly name.

Not a Christmas movie but it has a Christmas title. I thought it an ironic way to kick off the holiday season. I may continue the irony. Christmas in July is another witty comedy from Preston Sturges. He only directed thirteen features and this is my sixth. I should see the rest. AMRU 3.5.

Abandoned (1949)

Pretty Paula (Gale Storm) travels to LA to look for her missing sister, who had a scandalous baby. A smart alack reporter (Dennis O’Keefe) takes a shine and helps her investigate. Raymond Burr is a shady PI.

The story centers on an illegal adoption racket that would make headlines a year later. Reporter Mark behaves more like a detective, coming and going as he pleases, roughing up suspects, and creeping on the lovely Paula. Old friends may remember Gale from the Christmas film It Happened on Fifth Avenue.

Black market babies is an unusual topic for a traditional noir, and there are aspects of the story forbidden by the censors. Specifically, the identity of the baby’s father. He is not identified, but there are hints.

Abandoned makes for an interesting story with a unique angle on the noir genre, but is otherwise unremarkable. I enjoyed the watch but won’t be revisiting it. AMRU 3.

Wings (1927)

Two men, one from a rich family, vie for the affection of a woman (not Clara Bow). When duty calls, they both sign up as pilots for the Great War.

Clara received top billing despite not being the lead. Having made a huge splash earlier in the year with It, the twenty two year old’s star power was at an all-time high. The studio capitalized on her fame, giving her a “topless” scene. She would go on to appear in nothing else of interest. She didn’t transition to talkies very well or to thirty at all. Clara married a cowboy star and retired to a comfortable life of mental illness. She would die at the ripe old age of sixty. And so it goes.

Gary Cooper appears in a very short scene, one of his earliest credited roles. It was enough to kick start his career into lead roles. The real leads are Buddy Rogers and Richard Arlen as Jack and David, whose relationship begins as rivals but evolves throughout the film. Arlen would actually marry the object of his affection in real life.

Some state of the art visual effects trickery was employed to show the leads flying the airplanes. What the filmmakers did was to strap a camera to the front of an old airplane and tell the actors to fly it. This technique worked surprisingly well.

Wings is a lavish, expansive, and expensive film. The 2016 restoration, which reunited it with the original score, is breathtaking. A two and a half hour silent film is a tough sell and I would be lying if I said it didn’t occasionally drag, but it is amazingly engaging. Hand painted frames highlighted the flames of crashing planes and the flash of the gunfire. It is quite the spectacle. AMRU 4.

Prescription: Murder (1968)

A well-to-do doctor (Gene Barry), with the help of his young girlfriend, kills his wife. Then they follow an overly complicated plan to make it look like a failed burglary. Thirty minutes later the disarming Lt. Columbo (Peter Falk) is on the case.

Something of an anti-mystery, we see all details of the murder then watch Columbo puzzle it out. Based on a play, it was intended as a stand-alone TV movie. It was a huge hit but Falk wasn’t interested in television. It would be three years before another was made, followed by seven seasons of the regular TV series, then twenty four more TV movies.

For those too young to remember Columbo or Falk, he was the grandfather in The Princess Bride. For those unfamiliar with the Princess Bride, you are living your life wrong. Gene Barry played the lead in the good version of War of the Worlds.

There isn’t much to say about the story. Columbo is annoyingly persistent and Barry’s Dr. Flemming is confident he can outwit him. Guess how it turns out. Prescription: Murder is a fairly amusing if unspectacular watch. I watched a fair amount of Columbo as a kid so it was pretty nostalgic for me. I watched the next TV feature, but I don’t think I want to cover TV movies here. Suffice to say it hit all the same beats. As for this one, AMRU 3.

Sudden Fear (1952)

A stage actor (Jack Palance) is fired by the playwright (Joan Crawford) because she doesn’t think he is romantic enough, so he proves her wrong by winning her heart. And everyone lives happily ever after.

Pitch perfect casting of Palance as the homme fatale. Charismatic enough but definitely not the romantic lead type, he fits the character perfectly. Plus he nailed the performance as the menacing charmer. This is the role that launched his career. Gloria Grahame is his accomplice.

No longer the traditional Hollywood leading lady, Crawford fully embraces this mature lead part of her career. As executive producer, she was involved in all aspects of production, not dissimilar to her character. She wanted Clark Gable in the Palance role but was thankfully overruled.

Crawford’s Myra doesn’t seek help when she begins to fear for her life. This is a key point in order for the story to happen, and it’s handled reasonably well. The director also did a pretty fair job planting ideas into the audience’s head to build later tension. We are never sure how this will all play out until the very end.

A little overly dramatic in parts, but Sudden Fear has solid performances. It’s an interesting take on the genre and totally sticks the landing. AMRU 3.5.

The Bad Seed (1956)

With her husband on deployment, a mother begins to suspect that her perfect eight year old daughter is a cold blooded murderer.

Based on a play based on a book, the movie brought in the stage cast, who brought their stage annunciation. Set almost entirely in the Penmark residence, it feels every bit like a stage adaptation. Bad Seed herself Patty McCormack, two or three years older than when she originated the role, was given oversized dresses and props to make her look younger. And the illusion worked.

The question openly asked here is of Nature vs. Nurture. Is evil inborn or a product of a person’s environment? I believe social science has put that debate to rest, but at the time of the film it was still an open question.

Many character actors populate the periphery. Jesse White has a sizable role. Folks might remember him as the egg and onion sandwich guy from Harvey, but he will forever be the Maytag repairman to me. Frank Cady has appeared in too much to list. He was Sam Drucker in three different series. Frances Bavier (Andy Taylor’s Aunt Bee) is in a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it scene. Also Shelley Fabares is one of Evil Rhoda’s classmates.

The Bad Seed is surprisingly creepy, mostly due to McCormack’s performance. It was quite impressive. I’m surprised she didn’t go on to a bigger career in film. The theme has become a cultural touchstone and is referenced widely across pop culture. The biggest barrier to a rewatch is the stage acting and vocal projection. It was quite exhausting. But in the end it earns it. AMRU 4.

From Beyond the Grave (1974)

Four stories, each revolving around haunted items purchased from a curio shop run by an old man (Peter Cushing).

Story one concerns a haunted mirror that needs to be fed blood. The second is about a man with a shrewish wife who purchases stolen valor to impress a street vendor and his creepy daughter. In the third a man is haunted by an invisible ‘elemental’, and in the last one a man purchases a fancy door he uses for his office supplies closet.

The creepy daughter of the street peddler (Donald Plesence) was played by Pleasence’s actual daughter. Buxom Diana Dors was the shrewish wife. Something of a British Marilyn, she was featured in a successful run of films I have never seen. She would appear in soft core sex comedies at the tail end of her career before cancer would take her.

I didn’t get the ending of ‘The Elemental’. I think it was implying something more than was on screen. It was the weakest of the four, although I did find the Madame Orloff character quite amusing. I'm not sure what my favorite was. The haunted item only plays directly into two of the four stories.

A good thing about anthology movies (I bristle at the term ‘portmanteau’) is that I can start them late at night knowing I'll have good stopping points for the night. I took advantage of this. From Beyond the Grave has some creepy scenes but none of the stories would have survived a longer treatment. But it is good for what it is. AMRU 3.

Frankenstein Created Woman (1967)

Baron Frankenstein (Peter Cushing), having moved from his familial castle into a tastefully decorated townhouse, is working on a plan with his Dr. Watson to transfer the soul of a recently executed man into the body of his dead lover. What could possibly go wrong.

No longer content to build monsters from spare parts, the good Baron is now in the soul transference business, and the result is a hot chick out for revenge. And calling Thorley Walters’ Dr. Hertz “Doctor Watson” isn’t far off the mark, having played the Watson character several times on film and TV. 60’s party girl Susan Denberg plays our fetching reanimated corpse. Her film career was very brief before leaving it all behind. She was one of Mudd’s Women.

Frankenstein Created Woman is a fresh take on the story, but it's a horrorless horror film that lacks the sex appeal of contemporary Hammer films. Stylish with some appropriately good performances, but pretty bland overall. And apart from box office considerations, there is no reason to link it to the Frankenstein franchise. Cushing could just as easily have been playing Dr. Jekyll. Very much a lesser Hammer. AMRU 2.5.

The Killer Shrews (1959)

A man delivering supplies to a scientist on a secluded island must stay the night because a hurricane is coming, eventually. The crew must remain indoors overnight because of an experiment gone wrong. I don’t want to say too much, but it’s Killer Shrews. Giant, ravenous, killer shrews.

Visual effects technician Ray Kellogg wanted to direct a movie, and scratched together some money and talent for the project. Our hero is Thorne Sherman (James Best). Tall, handsome Best was a could-have-been minor leading man but instead had a long career as an extra, secondary character, or character actor in both film and television. He will forever be remembered as Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane on TV’s Dukes of Hazzard.

The low budget and rushed schedule is evident on every frame. The opening narration contradicts the actual premise of the film, much of the dialog seems to have been written by someone with only a passing familiarity with human conversation, and the shrews were dogs in costume. Truth be told, I liked that last part.

Baruch Lumet, father of director Sidney Lument, is the well-intentioned doctor with a thick  Yiddish accent. Pretty, young Swedish model Ingrid Goude plays his daughter with a decidedly non-Yiddish accent. Much of the rest of the small cast also served as producers.

The Killer Shrews has a certain charm. It’s a low budget, quickie to the drive-in film and knows it. Much more could have been made of the resources at hand, but at an hour nine, it doesn’t overstay its welcome. AMRU 2.5. A sequel was made in 2012 featuring Best, but not Goude. She may have dodged a bullet with that one.

“Don't you wonder about the unusual things around here? The guns. The fence. The shattered windows. My accent. Anything?”

Deep Red (1975)

A pianist witnesses the brutal murder of a psychic but the assailant escapes unseen. He pries into the case with a nosy journalist and finds himself the murder’s next target.

Hyper stylized horror-adjacent thrillers, giallo is a very niche genre similar to noir. Defined more by style and mood elements than by story or setting, plot and character are sometimes given short shrift. Not so much here as we follow the sometimes nonsensical investigation as it twists and turns to an inevitable conclusion.

The journalist was played by Daria Nicolodi, who seemed awkward and annoying in the role. I found her to be an odd choice until I learned she was dating the director. The film features what would later be interpreted as a trans character, in a non villainous role. They were played by actress Geraldine Hooper.

I don’t fully get Giallo. Deep Red presents a better than fair mystery that leaves the viewer more than a little confounded. Rated on many online sites as high or higher than Dario Argento’s more famous Suspiria, I enjoyed the latter a bit more. Visually interesting and certainly held my interest, but maybe the style just isn’t for me. AMRU 3.5.

Horror Express (1972)

Professor Saxton (Christopher Lee) makes an amazing discovery in the Siberian wilderness: a mummified early human. To keep his discovery under wraps, especially from nosy rival Doctor Wells (Peter Cushing), Saxton locks it up in a giant box for the train ride home. When the baggage man is found murdered and the mummy missing, there can be only one explanation: the mummy has come back to life and is killing people. I mean, no other explanation even makes sense.

There is much more to the story and much of it is silly. This is saved by the fact that our principles play it seriously. No wink and nod, no sly grin. With the exception of Telly Savalas, who shows up in the third act for some reason. He looked like he was having a grand time.

Starring both Lee and Cushing and set almost entirely on a train, it has a very Hammer feel, although it’s not. Reportedly a minor cult classic, Horror Express has a lot going for it. I, however, found it to be just ok. I couldn’t get past the silly parts. AMRU 3.

Robot Monster (1953)

A family picnicking in Bronson Canyon turns out to be the last humans on Earth. The Ro-Men, an entirely indestructible race of aliens, have devastated much of the planet. But for reasons they cannot eliminate this one last family.

What an utterly bonkers film. This is the one with the guy in a gorilla suit wearing a space helmet. Notoriously bad, it takes garbage science into a realm all its own, includes elements that simply make no sense, has acting and dialog that feel intentionally bad, and goes into directions you will not expect. Seriously! But perhaps the most surprising part is how the closing scene puts it all back together. It’s rather remarkable.

Don’t get me wrong, Robot Monster is not a great film. It is low budget beyond low budget. It was filmed in four days on $16k with literally no sets, used footage from other films, yet it grossed a million. And I enjoyed it. Soak in the actor’s campy yet self-serious performances, the absurd science exposition, and the whole ridiculousness of it all. It’s not very long and a lot of fun. AMRU 3.5.

“I cannot - yet I must. How do you calculate that? At what point on the graph do ‘must’ and ‘cannot’ meet? Yet I must - but I cannot!”

Cosmic Monsters (1958)

Scientists are working on some sort of magnetic ray that changes the molecular structure of metals, and it might be interfering with televisions at the local pub. Funding was in danger of being cut until the military recognized the tactical benefit. A strange visitor appears to inform them of a greater danger.

Originally titled “The Strange World of Planet X”, it was renamed for American audiences. Neither title hits the mark. But it has many of the tropes of 50’s sci-fi: an obsessed scientist, unintended consequences, giant bugs, and a budding romance.

Our lead is Forrest Tucker whom people my age may remember as Sergeant O’Rourke from F-Troop. A better actor than many in this tier of film but he lacked leading man good looks. He was believable as a lab assistant only because his duties were limited to turning dials when Dr. Obsessive barked at him.

50’s gender politics are revealed when an injured lab assistant is replaced by a woman. Our hero spouts the expected misogyny but is surprised to discover she is both attractive and qualified. I don’t ding it for this because it subverts the stereotype rather than confirm it. She is played by French actress Gaby André, but her accent was deemed too thick so they dubbed her with an English actress. It was very noticeable.

Like all 50’s sci-fi B films, the science is garbage. I won’t go into it. It was, however, surprisingly gory by 1950’s standards. Not as talkie as some UK films but it does border on having too many secondary characters for a drive-in audience to follow. Dumb as it is, it's well executed, does a lot with a limited budget, and is quite engaging. All in all, it wasn’t half bad. AMRU 3.5.

"Yea, I know the type. Frustrated angular spinster. Very dedicated to her calling. Without a sense of humor, bossy, and infuriatingly right every time."

Dodsworth (1936)

Sam Dodsworth (Walter Huston) sells off his car company to do some traveling and reconnect with the wife. Her desire to shed her hayseed lifestyle and fear of middle age lead to her innocent flirtations becoming problematic.

The film features a very young David Niven as a wannabe suitor to the Mrs. Dodsworth. He didn’t think much of the role or experience, and director William Wyler didn’t think much of him. Ruth Chatterton plays the discontented wife. At 44, she was also facing a midlife crisis herself. She would appear in two more features in the next two years, then relegated to television.

But in many ways, this is Mary Astor’s film. Huston gets all the screen time but she’s always in the periphery. The good girl, or, the right choice. Not sexually aggressive or terribly beautiful, she is nevertheless appealing. Ironically enough she was going through a bitter custody battle during filming where her ex-husband was releasing excerpts of her stolen diary detailing affairs and sexual encounters. Mary wasn't staid and matronly in real life.

Dodsworth is an interesting and sometimes amusing drama, but I didn’t find much else there. Still, it was well written, well acted, and well paced. AMRU 3.5.

Secret of the Blue Room (1933)

In a remote country estate three men learn the dark history of the mansion’s guest room, where many years ago three people died under mysterious circumstances. Because all three men have designs on their host’s daughter (Gloria Stuart), they decide to prove their bravery by staying the night in the cursed room. Things don’t go well for them.

This film has it all. A blue room, a secret, what more could you want? A score would be nice. Inspired by the success of The Old Dark House, it was shot on the same set and also featured Stuart in the romantic lead. Some folks will remember her as Old Rose from that sunken boat rom-com. Old friend Lionel Atwilll is her dad.

Secret of the Blue Room was not on my radar. Never even heard of it. Perhaps I read the synopsis and impulse recorded it, then completely forgot. Or maybe I had a DVR glitch. Either way, it was recorded, watched, and I enjoyed it. Well, within reason. Creaky, clumsy, and dated, it lacks a certain internal logic, but that describes most B pictures of the era. I went into it knowing what to expect, it held my interest, and, at 66 minutes, didn't overstay its welcome. AMRU 3.

Diamonds are Forever (1971)

After murdering Blofeld (Charles Gray), Bond (Sean Connery) now investigates a diamond smuggling ring. Blah blah blah German space lasers.

Bad guys are dispatched by other bad guys with such frequency that it’s hard to figure out what is really going on. In actuality, that doesn’t matter. Bond sleepwalks into dangerous situations without a plan, gets into trouble, then is implausibly saved. Bond Girl Tiffany Case (Jill St. John) starts on the bad side but soon succumbs to Bond’s “charm”.

So too does Lana Wood’s Plenty O’Tool, both on screen and off. Wood and St. John had a long standing feud because Connery “dated” both during production. Lana, sister of Natalie Wood, and St. John have more reason for animosity. Jill is married to Robert Wagner, Natalie’s husband at the time of her death. During a 2017 interview, Lana said she believes Wagner murdered her sister.

Jimmy Dean, the sausage guy, was apparently an actor, portraying a Howard Hughes analog. Dean was an employee of Hughes at the time making that a bit awkward. But the most memorable part of this mostly unremarkable Bond film are the assassins Kidd and Wint. They neither look nor behave like you’d expect of a Bond villain. Also, it is heavily implied that they were a couple. So, it isn’t bad enough that they were remorseless murderers, they also were the G-A-Y! Hey, it was the 70’s.

Diamonds also features an apparent stunt gaff. In order to fit his Mustang through a narrow alley, Bond hits a ramp and balances his car on the right two wheels. But when he exits, the car is on the left. A quick, unconvincing scene was spliced in showing Bond turn the steering wheel to move the car to the other side.

Perhaps the most forgettable of the early Bonds, Diamonds are Forever still manages to do what Bond films do. It’s visually interesting and holds your interest, so long as you don’t think about it very much. AMRU 3.

The Amazing Colossal Man (1957)

The US military is testing a new “plutonium” bomb but it fails to detonate. Soldiers are ordered to stay put but when a civilian plane crashes inside the test site Colonel Manning leaves the safety of his trench to try and rescue the pilot. The bomb detonates and Manning is caught in the blast. He is not expected to live. Miraculously, his skin grows back overnight and doctors are stumped. Things escalate when he starts to grow and his behavior becomes erratic.

One doesn’t expect a “radioactive giant attacks Las Vegas” film to be rock solid with the science, especially when the title sounds like a sideshow attraction, but that low bar may have been too high of a hurdle. The most egregious error was that Colonel Manning’s erratic behavior was blamed on the fact that his heart was growing at a slower pace than the rest of his body because the heart was “only one cell”. Every part of the problem and proposed solution made no sense.

A bigger problem is the film’s reliance on exposition. The bomb test in the opening sequence was described by a man speaking over a loudspeaker, and each time the doctor needed to describe the current situation with Manning, they used the conference room with film strip trope.

On the positive side, the movie makes good use of its tiny budget. The sparse sets made sense in the context of the film. Also, the match cut (if I can call it that) when Manning is hit by the explosion was quite effective. And the heart of the film is about Manning’s feeling of disillusionment and dissociation. We see his attitude transform from anger at his predicament to disregard of the “little people”. Not exactly Oscar worthy, but better depth than you normally expect from the genre.

I kind of liked The Amazing Colossal Man. Producer/Director Bert I. Gordon only made 24 films between 1954 and 2015, and I saw a handful of them in my childhood. This, however, is only the second one during this fourteen year journey. I’ll likely see a few more. AMRU 3.

Ocean’s Eleven (1960)

Veterans of the 82nd Airborne reunite to pull an audacious heist: rob five Las Vegas casinos at the same time, on new year’s. It’ll take a lot of people to pull something like this off. Offhand, I’d say ... ee oh, eleven people.

You will find better heist movies. The planning details are pretty nonsensical, and the film spends understandably little time explaining them. You will also find better comedies. It was amusing in parts, but you won't vocalize a chuckle. What you do find is the entirety of Sinatra’s Rat Pack together in one film, including associate members Shirley MacLaine, Caesar Romero, and Angie Dickinson. Sinatra apparently had a falling out with Peter Lawford and Sammy Davis, Jr, but that was patched up for production. Frank and Peter would fall out again later.

They didn’t give Angie Dickinson much to do. She played Danny Ocean’s (Sinatra) off-put wife who loves him still. The resolution to their differences was left dangling, as were other plot points. Steve McQueen, who appeared with Sinatra and Lawford in Never So Few (1959), was offered a role, but he declined on the advice of friend Hedda Hopper who told him not to become one of Sinatra’s flunkies.

Ocean’s Eleven is a pure vanity project. If watching the Rat Pack pal around and giving knowing nods to inside jokes isn’t your thing, then there isn’t much here for you. If you want a great heist film, watch Kubrick’s The Killing (1956). For a better ensemble comedy, try It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World (1963). But it is a piece of history, with too many cameos to count, and interesting enough to hold my attention. AMRU 3.

The Las Vegas Story (1952)

A newlywed couple (Vincent Price and Jane Russell) are traveling when husband Lloyd suggests they stop off in Las Vegas. Wife Linda balks at the idea, but hubby mysteriously insists. She used to sing in a Vegas nightclub and had a mysterious relationship with a mysterious serviceman. Lloyd gets a mysterious line of credit so that he can gamble all night while a mysterious new man takes a mysterious interest in our leading lady. It seems to have something to do with her mysterious diamond necklace.

The story is a murder mystery wrapped in a personal drama, told in cockamamie noir-esque dialog. RKO head Howard Hughes wanted to showcase both some gambling establishments he recently purchased and his leading lady, which the script must always remind the audience is otherworldly beautiful.

I never understood the fascination with Russell. Not unattractive, but she was only the best looking woman on screen when she was the only woman on screen. Contemporary reviews seem to agree, with the New York Times calling her “slightly grotesque to look upon”. That’s harsh. The film bombed.

The film features and is narrated by composer Hoagy Charmichael, who might have been another Crosby/Sinatra had he been prettier. I was curious how he got the nickname Hoagy. Turns out, his real first name is Hoagland, so there you go. Producer Howard Hughes (not Hugh Hefner) led a fascinating and tragic life. He was the prototype of the eccentric billionaire, becoming a shut-in during his last few years. Think Monty Burns. Also consider modern cult of personality billionaires who exhibit bizarre behavior and jump from industry to industry.

To be fair The Las Vegas Story isn't a bad mystery, if not a great one. Its Achilles heel is the nonsensical dialog desperately trying to impart heightened importance to every nuance, which it lacks in the final analysis. Compounding this is the complete lack of chemistry between Jane and ex-flame Lt. Andrews (Victor Mature). Their scenes, which should sizzle, just fall flat. AMRU 2.5.

Viva Las Vegas (1964)

Hot shot race car driver (Elvis) needs cash to buy a motor for his race car so he can compete in the Vegas Grand Prix. He gambles and actually wins the money, but instead of returning to Los Angeles, he decides to harass a pretty woman (Ann-Margret) whom he had been stalking. He inevitably loses the money and gets a waiter job so that he can continue harassing her. Deus ex machina and everyone lives happily ever after.

A script was quickly cobbled up to tie the musical numbers together and it shows in the finished product. It is a cartoonish boy-meets-girl love story with Las Vegas and car racing as the backdrop. But when you make three films a year you can’t expect the best scripts. He made 31 films in fourteen years, all variations on a theme. He was the star in each and top billed in all but his first.

Because of Elvis’ still impressive star power and Ann-Margret’s up-and-coming status, Viva Las Vegas was the biggest hit of his career, out earning A Hard Day’s Night released the same year. A bigger studio and Technicolor might have helped. Both stars began headlining in Las Vegas due to the film’s success. They would date for a while but his marriage to Priscilla would put an end to that. His view that wives are for making babies and not performing in large venues may have played a part in that decision.

At only twenty nine, Elvis looked out of place and out of time, doing his 50’s swagger and snarl while Ann-Margret did her freaky 60’s dance moves. It is said she came the closest to matching his on-screen charisma, but frankly even William Demarest had the better of him. Elvis could perform on stage and read lines on camera, but let’s be honest. Unless you are a rabid fan, he didn’t exactly sizzle out there. Case in point, the title number. Shot as one long take and I wonder if he refused to perform a second take. It was a laughably poor lip sync job.

Likely because the soundtrack was never released, only the title song was familiar. Here’s some fun stuff. In one musical number both Teri Garr (Young Frankenstein, Close Encounters, et. al.) and Toni Basil (Mickey) appear as extras.

Rife with plot holes, like how he must work as a waiter to pay his hotel bill, but has a helicopter he can fly on weekends, but my expectations were appropriately low. And even though the abrupt magical conclusion is annoying, it’s still an amusing watch, even if you are not a fan of the man. AMRU 3.

Cleo from 5 to 7 (1962)

Cleo (Corinne Marchand) is a beautiful woman, a talented singer, and possibly has cancer. She goes about her day while waiting for test results. Her fortune teller is already convinced.

The theme is beauty vs. death, image vs. reality, agency vs. dependency. There are mirrors everywhere and she deludes herself that as long as she has beauty, she will be fine. The story plays out in real time and the viewer is frequently reminded of the time. The strangers, friends, and acquaintances she interacts with cause her to reevaluate her life.

Cleo from 5 to 7 is ranked second on the BBC Culture’s 100 greatest films directed by women. I have seen only nine of them, The House is Black (1963) the lone film covered here. I hope to pick a few more off the list, definitely more Agnes Varda, who appears six times. The Piano (1993) was number one if you were curious.

There is a lot going on with this seemingly simple film, more than I feel qualified to cover. Subtitles have the unfortunate effect of distracting the viewer away from the cinematography, much of the story is there. But, again, more. Cleo deserves a second viewing. AMRU 4.

The Valley of the Gwangi (1969)

Tuck (James Franciscus), a charming scoundrel, seeks out wild west star and old flame T.J. Breckenridge (Gila Golan) to make a deal for her trained horse. T.J. isn’t initially receptive. Tuck had broken her heart by walking out on her, but she changes her tune when she comes in possession of a tiny horse, a living ancestor of modern horses … ok, ok, it’s Cowboys vs. Dinosaurs.

Old friend Richard Carlson plays the owner of the struggling wild west show, fiercely protective of T.J. Carlson would appear in the Elvis flick Change of Habit later that year, his last feature film. Also, Elvis’. Gila Golan was quite charming as the feisty T.J. Breckenridge, but because of her thick accent, all of her dialog was dubbed. It was noticeable.

All the important elements are present. A secret valley, a blind gypsy fortune teller (in turn of the century Mexico, no less), a bumbling scientist, a spunky sidekick, a love triangle, and a proper character arc for our protagonist. Oh yea, and cowboys and dinosaurs. It’s not exactly a think piece, but for the most part it gets the science right. Because of the time crunch, Ray Harryhausen didn’t finish color testing of his creatures. As such, they were blue-purple in color.

Valley of the Gwangi parallels King Kong (1933) a bit, which tracks as it is based on an abandoned Willis H. O’Brien script. It’s not a bad film, despite itself. It’s goofy in parts but the story makes in-world sense. Having no faith, the studio didn’t promote it, and it predictably bombed. A few years earlier it might have been a sizable success on the drive-in circuit. AMRU 3.

Sweet Smell of Success (1957)

Ambitious PR man Sidney (Tony Curtis) trades personal favors with influential columnist (Burt Lancaster) in exchange for getting his client’s names into his articles. The latest favor is to get Hunsecker’s kid sister away from a dirty jazz singer. This task proves harder than first seems.

Lancaster’s Hunsecker is a Walter Winchell type. Ruthless, manipulative, egomaniacal. Also with a suspicious infatuation with little sis. And Sidney is willing to do anything, use anyone, to succeed, consequences be damned. What transpires is a battle of and between two wholly unethical men.

At one level one can understand why someone would not want their little sister seeing an unsavory musician but not so much when he is played by Martin “Apple Pie” Milner (Adam-12). Susan Harrison (Little sis) had a rather short career despite being very charming here. Just three movies and eight episodes of TV over eight years. She married outside the industry and apparently moved on with life.

Sweet Smell of Success has an engaging story, a smart script, and excellent performances all around. It’s original, compelling, surprising, sometimes amusing, and thoroughly enjoyable. I should have watched it sooner. Much sooner. AMRU 4.5.

"Everybody knows Manny Davis - except Mrs. Manny Davis."

Cleopatra (1934)

Beleaguered by Rome, Queen Cleopatra (Claudette Colbert) shores up power by seducing Cesar (Warren William). When his reign is cut short (spoiler alert!), she pivots to Marc Antony (Henry Wilcoxon). Things don’t go well for him either.

Director Cecil B. DeMille wanted to produce a version of Cleopatra for the common man, and by all accounts he succeeded. Loads of pre-code sex, corny and awkward dialog, Busby Berkeley-esque cinematography, it was quite the spectacle. Impressively one of three Colbert films nominated for Best Picture, but they did nominate twelve that year. She would strike pay dirt with It Happened One Night.

In preparation for the production, DeMille screened the 1917 version. Three and a half years later, that print was destroyed, making this the oldest surviving version of the story. To flaunt the Motion Picture Production Code, he included as much sex as he could get away with, including an opening featuring a slave girl who appears to be naked to those inclined to believe she is.

C. Aubrey Smith crafted a career playing the “elderly Englishman”. He managed to appear in 110 films, including some pretty good ones, despite being past fifty when his career began. Here he was an elderly General. Antony’s Wilcoxon would later achieve immortality as the Bishop in Caddyshack. Well, maybe immortality isn’t the right word.

Cleopatra is an interesting, if peculiar watch. The dialog is, by design, jarringly informal. The Oscar-winning cinematography is still impactful, but limited by the format of the day. Look for the impressive crane long take. AMRU 3.

“What? Have you heard of Cleopatra?
Of course. All kinds of things. Is she black?”

Maisie (1939)

Aspiring showgirl Maisie Ravier (Ann Sothern) arrives in a small Wyoming town to learn that the show is canceled. Stranded with no money, the plucky Maisie finagles her way into a maid job on a dude ranch run by a grumpy cowboy (Robert Young). Will love bloom?

I’ve touched on these movie series in the past but if unfamiliar, in the days before television Hollywood made many series of fairly short, low budget films. Sherlock Holmes, Boston Blackie, Philo Vance, Andy Hardy, The Falcon, and also Maisie. Each episode would be released once, sometimes twice a year, world war permitting.

I thought this series was also in the mystery/detective genre but that wasn’t true for this first one. It is more in the romantic-ish/comedy-ish/drama-ish realm. Initially designed as a vehicle for Jean Harlow, but she became unavailable when she died. They found another pretty-ish sassy blonde with somewhat less sex appeal in Ann Sothern. It was successful enough to produce another nine more over the next eight years.

TV fans might remember Robert Young as the father from Father Knows Best and the doctor from Dr. Marcus Welby, M.D., but he had a minor film career in the 1930’s and 40’s. Ruth Hussey has a secondary role here. I always felt she had the looks and talent to be an A actress but it never happened for her.

Except for Holmes, I haven’t found these B picture series interesting enough to continue watching, and Maisie follows the trend. Sothern’s Maisie wasn’t very likable and the story was nothing special. And as most of the rest are rated lower, I think we should stop here. Not western enough to be a western, funny enough to be a comedy, or interesting enough to be rewatched. AMRU 3. Maybe that’s a little generous.

The Count of Monte Cristo (1934)

Edmond Dantes (Robert Donat) is framed for conspiring against the King and imprisoned for twenty years. With the help of another prisoner, he tunnels to freedom, finds buried treasure, and plots his revenge.

At first glance I didn’t recognize any credited names, not even the studio (Reliance Pictures). But on closer inspection I realized that Donat was the lead in The 39 Steps. Also principal villain Louis Calhern’s name should have been more familiar to me, having appeared in some big films, everything from Notorious to Duck Soup. He was once married to Lovey Howell.

Nineteenth century pulp adventure stories aren’t exactly my thing but I wasn’t completely unfamiliar with the story. I had difficulty at first keeping the characters straight, but soon the story focused on the few that matter. While not compelling, the story was interesting enough and well paced. Some of the scenes, particularly the underwater and ocean voyage scenes, were impressive considering the era. I am a little surprised the Academy didn’t nominate it for anything. AMRU 3.

The Window (1949)

Tommy (Bobby Driscoll, by special arrangement with Walt Disney) sleeps on the fire escape to escape the summer heat, where he witnesses a murder. His parents don’t believe him because he’s a kid, and also because he’s a big fat liar. Well, normally. Things escalate when his murderous neighbors catch wind that he may know something.

Filmed in 1947 and shelved because it was “not worth releasing”, it became a sleeper hit in 1949. RKO had been purchased by a man who knew nothing about business. What was his name again? Oh, yea, Howard Hughes. The Window stretches the Noir definition a bit, with a few of the standard elements missing. Most notably the hard-boiled protagonist is played by an imaginative ten year old. Let’s talk about little Bobby Driscoll, shall we?

A talented child actor, he was awarded the outstanding juvenile Oscar for 1949. Similar acclaim came for his roles in Song of the South, Treasure Island, and a whole host of films I’ve never seen. And he was quite good here, even if I found myself occasionally rooting for the baddies. But sadly for Bobby, tragedy struck. Did I say tragedy? I meant puberty. Puberty struck. His voice changed and his drug troubles followed him wherever he went. Washed up by 30, dead at 31.

An interesting side effect of the film is watching how ten year old kids behaved in post-war America. Not just sleeping on fire escapes but playing in abandoned buildings and being locked in their bedroom while the parents went to work. This I’m sure rang true back then but would be strange in my youth, and completely alien to kids today. Now they lock themselves in their bedrooms.

The Window is a well made, well paced film. Despite the child protagonist, it isn’t just a kids movie. I might quibble with the ending, but all in all it’s a pretty good watch. AMRU 3.5.

When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth (1970)

Sanna and two other women are being sacrificed to a glowy thing in the sky for the crime of being born with a blonde wig. But Sanna escapes and is rescued by the handsome Tara from another tribe. He is already paired with the beautiful Ayak, but blonde wig, am I right?

Soon Sanna is cast out by her new tribe because of the glowy thing in the sky, and befriends a dinosaur. Believing her dead, Tara goes about his life of dealing with dinosaur mayhem. It’s the classic story. Cave boy meets cave girl, cave boy loses cave girl …

An unofficial sequel to One Million Years B.C., it features all the tropes of the genre. Scantily clad cave people, nonsense language, throw-away story, hominids coexisting with dinosaurs, and scenes stolen from better pictures, this time The Lost World (1960). At first I thought for a G rated film, the women were wearing some seriously PG-13 costumes. Things escalated when the costumes came off. Only the American edit was G. Still …

The stop-motion dinosaurs and their interactions with the human cast (and not the lizards in prosthetics from The Lost World) were actually quite good, resulting in an Oscar nomination. And Victoria Vetri was quite beautiful. She had a small part in Rosemary’s Baby but her career would never fully take off. She would spend six years in prison for the attempted murder of her husband.

There’s not much else to say about the film. The story really is a nothing burger, not far afield of a modern rom-com. There are quite a few of these films, but I doubt I have the stamina to watch many more. That said, I kind of enjoyed it, even if it was more than a little forgettable. AMRU 3.

Three Ages (1923)

Three stories of love, set during the prehistoric, Roman, and modern times. Buster, of course, is our underdog protagonist, Margaret Leahy is the object of his affection, and Wallace Beery is his brutish competitor.

Twenty year old Leahy was a beauty contest winner, the 1923 Wampus Baby Star (which was a thing), and was signed to a three year movie contract. She was fired from her first film for being terrible and overweight before appearing here with Buster. Negative reviews followed and thus ended her film career. She married a businessman but divorced him because he forced her to wear last season’s fashions. Life was tough for her. Distraught after her mom passed, she drowned her sorrows with Draino. She was 64.

But this is the beginning of Buster Keaton as we know him today. The first of a dozen films he had creative control before selling his soul to MGM. Three Ages was done in three eras so if it failed, he could release them as three separate shorts. Fortunately this did not happen and a star was born.

Perhaps not as inventive as his later work, Three Ages still contains comic bits that hold up today. His sundial wrist watch has been done many times since but likely not prior. It has tedious moments intermingled with genuine laugh out loud gags, plus a pretty fair stop motion dinosaur. AMRU 3.5.

The Maltese Falcon (1931)

A private detective becomes caught up with a shady group scheming to steal a jewel encrusted falcon statuette worth millions.

It is hard not to compare this film with the 1941 masterpiece, especially since the major beats of the story are the same. The tone, however, is quite different. Also, the story makes sense. While John Huston wrapped every character’s motivation in mystery, director Roy Del Ruth was more respectful to his short attention span audience.

Ricardo Cortez’ Sam Spade is a smarmy womanizer in fancy suits compared to Bogart’s world-weary detective. While Bogart seldom cracked a smile, the smirk on Cortez’ face did not disappear for more than a moment. Spade approached every woman with an uncomfortably handsy eagerness. The relationship with Archer’s wife is an ongoing affair rather than a regrettable past indiscretion. And then there is how he behaved towards his secretary.

Lost in the mix is how the film features three big female stars of the era: Bebe Daniels as our femme fatale, Una Merkle as Sam’s secretary, and Thelma Todd as the bitter Mrs. Archer. While these names may not be familiar to the casual film fan, they were pretty big names in their day.

Daniels was a bona-fide leading lady in her day, taking top billing here, but did very little post 1940. Merkle, quite charming in her small role, had a long film and TV career but never seemed to graduate to leading lady. And Todd was a successful comedian, appeared in two Marx Brothers films, and teamed with Patsy Kelly for many successful shorts. Murdered by criminal elements before her 30th birthday, the LAPD did a thorough “nothing to see here” investigation and ruled it a suicide.

Hey, look, it’s Dwight Frye as Wilmer. You remember, Renfield. None of the other male actors had noteworthy careers.

The Maltese Falcon started out pretty rough. Early talkies have a shouty quality and the dialog was pretty stilted, but I quickly got used to it. I did find it annoying that our three ladies looked too much alike. I was sometimes unsure which pretty petite blonde I was looking at. In the final analysis, I cannot overstate how superior the remake is over this. Just about every aspect of film making is markedly better. But that’s not to say the original isn’t interesting in its own right. Fans of the latter should see it. For everyone else, AMRU 3.

Queen of Blood (1966)

In the futuristic world of 1990, Earth makes contact with an alien race. The aliens send an ambassador, but they crash land on Mars. Our intrepid astronauts go on a rescue mission but a “sunburst” damages their vessel and they might not have enough fuel to return to Earth. So, a second rescue mission is dispatched with the only ship available: one that doesn’t carry enough fuel to land on Mars. I didn't get it either. Instead they land on Phobos, and from there they can take their escape vehicle to Mars. Problem is they find the alien ambassador, injured, on Phobos, and she (it’s a lady ambassador!) must take one of the two seats in the escape vehicle, while one astronaut remains behind.

Long story short, she’s some kind of green skinned alien vampire creature.

John Saxon is our heroic leading man. He had a long career of B movies and television guest appearances. His menacingly strong looks served him well in lead and villain roles. I most associate him with Enter the Dragon, which I haven not covered yet for some reason. Cub astronaut Paul is played by Dennis Hopper. I hardly recognized him.

The big name is Basil Rathbone, on the final hole of his storied career. He was very much in the “read lines while on camera for money” stage of his career. He was also roped into appearing in Voyage to the Prehistoric Planet, which was ripped off from Planeta bur (1962). Peter Bogdanovich would later edit Basil out and make Voyage to the Planet of Prehistoric Women, because Mamie Van Doren.

Basil would pass a little over a year after the film’s release, but still had time to appear in the classics The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini and Hillbillys in a Haunted House. They sound dreadful. I must watch.

Long shots of the aliens and their world have a surreal appearance heightened by the trippy music. This contrasts in style and tone with the main story because those scenes were stolen from two higher budget Russian films, Mechte navstrechu (1963) and Nebo zovyot (1959). Was Roger Corman the producer? Of course he was. Much of the story comes from the first of the two, and the second was Americanized as Battle Beyond the Sun. After we meet lady ambassador monster near the midpoint, those sets are gone and we are left with the sparse Corman sets.

Queen of Blood is a watchable, if confounding film. Too convoluted for its own good (see paragraph one) and the action is facilitated by the characters being dumb. It's not without its charm, but much of that charm came from better films. AMRU 2.5.