Piranha (1978)

While searching for missing hikers, an investigator and a grumpy alcoholic stumble upon a military research lab breeding hyper aggressive piranhas. Gosh, I hope they aren’t accidentally released to the river!

I listen to only one film-topic podcast: The Movies that Made Me, which I learned about from the YouTube channel Trailers from Hell. The mastermind behind both efforts is director Joe Dante. I’ve seen and liked a few of his films, so I wanted to click a few others off the list. Piranha was one.

I remember Piranha from my youth because I was a huge Jaws (1975) fan. I read the book before the movie was even announced and saw the film several times. I became low-grade obsessed with sharks and were it not for Star Wars (1977), I may have become an oceanographer. Anyhow, any successful subgenre spawns copycats. Even though I saw neither films, Tentacles (1977) and Piranha definitely got my attention.

Some interesting names appear here. Sci-Fi stalwart Kevin McCarthy (Invasion of the Body Snatchers), Keenan Wynn (Dr. Strangelove), Barbara Steele (Black Sunday), and Dick Miller (everything) specifically, some frequent collaborators with executive producer Roger Corman. Oh, yea, this is a Roger Corman film. Despite that, it isn’t too bad.

Originally set to conflict with the opening of Jaws 2, Universal filed a lawsuit against the production company, maybe because it was actually a better film. Steven Spielberg, however, liked Piranha calling it the best of the Jaws rip-offs, and convinced Universal to drop the suit. The $600k Piranha opened two months after the $20m Jaws 2 to better critical reviews.

Piranha is a pleasant distraction. Not a great film and, truth be told, a little confounding in some parts, but overall a well put together movie. It doesn’t try to be too much and it won’t stay with me very long. But it is a pretty good Jaws rip-off. AMRU 3.

Black Sunday (1960)

or "La Maschera del Demonio" (The Mask of Satan).

Two doctors travelling to a medical conference take a shortcut through a forest and come upon the tomb of the evil witch Ava (Barbara Steele), put to death by her brother two hundred years before. She cursed the descendants of her brother prior to having a spikey mask nailed to her face then burned. Ouch.

One bumbling doctor breaks the cross that was keeping her in her coffin then bleeds on her causing her to come back to life. Duh, people! Evil Asa then raises her boy-toy from the grave (using a mystical technique called "telling him to"). The doctors meet Princess Katia (also Barbara Steele), a cursed descendant of Asa's brother, then they part company until hot living princess' dad is attacked by the boy-toy of the evil dead princess. Is there a bumbling doctor in the house? I mean, haunted castle?

Great sets, moody and atmospheric, and well paced, Black Sunday was Mario Bava's masterpiece. The cinematography was excellent. I should have seen it prior to the other three I watched, but there was a problem with the Netflix copy. They were hashing to the 1977 movie which at almost two and a half hours, was not going to be budgeted on my calendar any time soon (an hour and a half was doable - I'm a busy little boy). Once corrected, this became the last movie I saw before Halloween.

If any Bava fans I did offend with my prior lukewarm reviews, note this is not the glowingist of reviews. Dubbing muddles the acting and partially spoils my viewing experience. Still, it's a wonderfully looking movie with a decent story, and Barbara Steele was hot. AMRU 3.5.

"You will never escape my vengeance, or of Satan's! My revenge will seek you out, and with the blood of your sons, and of their sons, and their sons, I will continue to live forever! They will restore me to life you now rob from me!"

The Crimson Cult (1968)

or Curse of the Crimson Alter. Have I mentioned that I hate it when they pointlessly change movie names?

Randy antique dealer Robert Manning (Mark Eden) is looking for his missing brother so he visits is last known location, a spooky mansion that appears to have an orgy going on. Lord Morley (Christopher Lee) never heard of him but he was welcome to stay and have a look around. He spends half his time looking for his brother and the other half trying to nail Morley's hot niece Eve (Virginia Wetherell), even though she's fifteen years younger than him.

So there's this legend of the blue witch Lavinia (Barbara Steele), Karloff as a witchcraft expert (along with his trusty man servant Kato), Alfred as a weirdo butler, and strange cut sequences to some bizarre S&M cult. At first the movie makes little sense, but it all works out, I suppose. As unremarkable as this Lovecrafty story is, it did hold my interest. Maybe it was the teaming of legends Karloff and Lee, maybe the supporting cast (underused Steele and Michael Gough), or maybe it was the chick in pasties with the whip. Who can say? Not a quality flick by any stretch, but I'm certainly glad I saw it. AMRU 3.

"It's like Boris Karloff is going to pop up at any moment."