The Story of Mankind (1957)

Mankind has invented the “Super H-Bomb”, and if they detonate it, the Earth and all men will be destroyed. Women too. A tribunal is held in Heaven to decide if mankind should be allowed to destroy itself. Advocate for the defense is The Spirit of Man (Ronald Coleman). Mr. Scratch (Vincent Price) advocates for destruction.

The “Master of Disaster” Irwin Allen assembled a large cast of stars by promising one day of work for $25,000. Several big names appear in cameos: Virginia Mayo as Cleopatra, Hedy Lamarr as Joan of Arc, Peter Lorre as Emperor Nero. The three main Marx Brothers appear and this is sometimes included as an official Marx Brothers film, but their screen time is brief and they don’t appear together. Scenes of action and of large set pieces were borrowed from better films.

The storybook version of world history is illustrated with Mr. Scratch pointing out the war, cruelty, and injustice, while The Spirit of Man points out the occasional scientific discovery or work of art. I’m glad they acknowledged the treatment of native americans, but much is still hand-waved away. The prosecution’s case is pretty air-tight.

The Story of Mankind is a cringy vanity project. It doesn’t earn its all star cast or grand scale. It’s a dull, tedious watch whose only real entertainment is to play spot the fading start. But that too gets tedious. AMRU 2.

While the City Sleeps (1956)

Pretty women are being murdered and the new head of a newspaper (Vincent Price) uses the story to fuel a competition to select the new Editor in Chief. Dana Andrews’ Ed Mobley isn’t interested.

The three competitors are George Sanders, Thomas Mitchell, and James Craig. Sanders plays the high class charmer rather than the magnificent cad he is so adept at. Some may know Mitchell as a fantastic character actor with a knack of appearing in some great films, including Stagecoach, Mr Smith Goes to Washington, The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1939), It’s a Wonderful Life, and Gone With the Wind. Craig also appeared in films. His character has an inside track on the position.

Ida Lupino is something of a free agent, offering assistance to Sanders but for her own reasons. John Drew Barrymore is our villain, more famous as John’s son and Drew’s dad, although apparently not much of one. Silent film star Mae Marsh makes an appearance. She has a ton of screen credits.

Typical of Fritz Lang, there’s a whole lot going on here. Hero Dana is dealing with his relationship with pretty Nancy while schooling the police and reporters on how to investigate a crime. The murders sometimes seem to be of secondary importance.

While the City Sleeps is a pretty good crime drama. While lacking in mystery, it’s an interesting watch from start to finish. It should be noted that not a whole lot of action seems to happen while the city is sleeping. AMRU 3.5.

Witchfinder General (1968)

or The Conqueror Worm.

While civil war rages in England, Lawyer Matthew Hopkins (Vincent Price) travels around offering his services to extract confessions from people accused of witchcraft.

Hopkins is assisted by Stearne (Robert Russell) who does the tortuous dirty work while Hopkins concerns himself with securing payment and listening to the arguments of the accused back in his bedchambers, specifically the young ladies. It’s tough work.

Director Michael Reeves didn’t get along with Price, whose casting was insisted by AIP. They also changed the title in America to confuse it with the Corman/Poe films. This was Reeves third film and tragically his last. His trajectory went from poor, to middling, to pretty good. Some excellent films may have been in his future. He died of an accidental overdose at 25. And so it goes.

Very loosely based on the Historical Matthew Hopkins, this film serves as an excellent portrayal of the evil perpetrated by those convinced of their righteousness. Known for his theatrical, almost campy horror performances, Price was uncharacteristically menacing. Disturbingly so. He was, in a way, cast against type.

Witchfinder General’s use of mannered acting and dialog attempts to import a “Look, I’m a legit historical biopic” vibe when clearly it’s not. But this fair revenge story is elevated by Price’s performance and some story elements not seen in films of the time. AMRU 3.5.

Dr. Phibes Rises Again (1972)

Dr. Phibes (Vincent Price) returns with a plan to revive his departed Victoria (Caroline Munro) that involves Egypt and the River of Life. Unfortunately he discovers that his mansion was destroyed and his precious Egyptian papyrus stolen. So, he recalls faithful assistant Vulnavia and heads to Egypt. Voice-over narration retcons the first film so that this one could happen.

Did you want more Phibes? Because you got more Phibes. Lots of him. You even have his lair, replete with organ and clockwork musicians, slightly dressed up to appear like it’s inside an Egyptian tomb. And Phibes now has a nemesis but they share very little screen time. They mostly follow parallel stories that converge in the end.

Valli Kemp substitutes in for the pregnant Virginia North as Vulnavia, and if it were more than a while since you saw the first film, you might not notice. Let’s for a moment appreciate the name Vulnavia. So evocative. Caroline Munro returns as Victoria, again uncredited. She spends most of her time in a box. Peter Cushing and Terry-Thomas make cameos.

The way Phibes repeatedly says her name (and Victoria’s) was both irritating and opens the question as to the nature of their relationship. Studio in-fighting caused scenes to be deleted, which required Price to record additional dialog to explain the story (even though he wasn’t hooked up to his Victrola).

Dr. Phibes Rises Again is dragged down by the added exposition. This and the lack of someone for Phibes to directly interact with spoils the film's better moments. And the principal conflict just isn’t as compelling. It has the bones of a worthy sequel, but still a half step below. AMRU 3.

House of Usher (1960)

A young man (Mark Damon) visits his fiancee (Myrna Fahey) at her family estate only to discover that he is in an Edgar Allan Poe story.

This is the first of eight Poe stories that Roger Corman made over six years. They were his first color films, all starring Vincent Price, and considered to be among his best.

If I ever read The Fall of the House of Usher, it was a very long time ago, so I can’t speak to the movie’s faithfulness. This follows the expected story line. Roderick’s sensitivity to sound and light, the family curse, the premature burial, the literal and figurative fall of the house. I believe the biggest change was the addition of the love interest. I covered a 1949 version here nine years ago but have no memory of it. There’s a 1928 silent version but I can’t seem to find it.

Price always delivers, even with poor material. And to be fair, this material isn’t poor. Sci-Fi legend Richard Matheson adapted the screenplay. My biggest complaint is with Roderick’s constant exclaiming “Don’t you understand!” when nothing was even remotely explained. But I am sure this is a fault of the source material. Some things make more sense on the page than screen. AMRU 3.

The Las Vegas Story (1952)

A newlywed couple (Vincent Price and Jane Russell) are traveling when husband Lloyd suggests they stop off in Las Vegas. Wife Linda balks at the idea, but hubby mysteriously insists. She used to sing in a Vegas nightclub and had a mysterious relationship with a mysterious serviceman. Lloyd gets a mysterious line of credit so that he can gamble all night while a mysterious new man takes a mysterious interest in our leading lady. It seems to have something to do with her mysterious diamond necklace.

The story is a murder mystery wrapped in a personal drama, told in cockamamie noir-esque dialog. RKO head Howard Hughes wanted to showcase both some gambling establishments he recently purchased and his leading lady, which the script must always remind the audience is otherworldly beautiful.

I never understood the fascination with Russell. Not unattractive, but she was only the best looking woman on screen when she was the only woman on screen. Contemporary reviews seem to agree, with the New York Times calling her “slightly grotesque to look upon”. That’s harsh. The film bombed.

The film features and is narrated by composer Hoagy Charmichael, who might have been another Crosby/Sinatra had he been prettier. I was curious how he got the nickname Hoagy. Turns out, his real first name is Hoagland, so there you go. Producer Howard Hughes (not Hugh Hefner) led a fascinating and tragic life. He was the prototype of the eccentric billionaire, becoming a shut-in during his last few years. Think Monty Burns. Also consider modern cult of personality billionaires who exhibit bizarre behavior and jump from industry to industry.

To be fair The Las Vegas Story isn't a bad mystery, if not a great one. Its Achilles heel is the nonsensical dialog desperately trying to impart heightened importance to every nuance, which it lacks in the final analysis. Compounding this is the complete lack of chemistry between Jane and ex-flame Lt. Andrews (Victor Mature). Their scenes, which should sizzle, just fall flat. AMRU 2.5.

The Masque of the Red Death (1964)

Prince Prospero (Vincent Price) is a terrible man. He visits a small village for reasons I forget and is given an earful by two residents. He sentences them to fight to the death, but two things happen: he takes a fancy to the pretty Francesca and discovers that the village is infected by The Red Death, which is apparently some kind of plague. He orders the village burned and takes the pretty lady and two men back to his castle. There he contemplates ways to kill his prisoners, tries to woo the pretty girl (because, you know, consent), and plans a masquerade ball.

This is another of Roger Corman’s eight Poe films, of which I’ve now seen three. The teenaged Jane Asher was quite charming as the prince's captive. Prospero’s lady in waiting (Hazel Court) is jealous of this new love interest and starts operating on her own agenda. After her initial ingenue period, Court appeared in a fair number of low budget horror flicks. After Masque she moved to television and had a lengthy career there. In a side story a tiny dancer catches the eye of Hop Toad the dwarf. Turns out that actress was only eight years old at the time.

The Masque of the Red Death has an air of artificiality about it. The dialog is stilted and mannered. The sets are brightly colored, brightly lit, and very set-looking. People are locked in rooms that we don’t doubt for a moment the actors couldn’t punch their way through. There is much to pick apart if one were inclined. But this is the disbelief we are supposed to suspend. So, it is what it is. It holds your interest even if the story sometimes makes no sense. I should read the Poe story. AMRU 3.

The Tomb of Ligeia (1964)

A creepy old guy (Vincent Price) laments the death of his wife, The Lady Ligeia (Elizabeth Shepherd). He thinks she isn’t really dead because of something she said, but buries her anyhow. When he meets The Lady Rowena (Elizabeth Shepherd), he mistakes her for his dead wife and treats her terribly. Will love bloom? Anyhow, after the wedding, the dead wife starts to complicate things.

Roger Corman directed eight Edgar Allen Poe adaptations in the early 1960’s and this was the most expensive, elaborate, and the last. It was the only one not to be filmed entirely on a soundstage. The shoot went long because of the British crew’s tea obsession. This is my thirteenth Price film so far, which is fewer than I would have expected.

I’ve dinged Corman over his focus on budget and profit over quality, but a great many industry people credit him with giving them their start and an opportunity to learn the craft. I can’t discount that. But I can say I don’t care much for the films he produces. And boy does he produce. He has over 440 feature film producer credits, including four in pre-production. But he wasn’t credited as producer on this one. A Brit was so he could earn a British subsidy.

As for The Tomb of Ligeia, it is what it is. The sets are on par with Hammer, the period dialog is a bit overdone, and the story, well, it is what it is. It will hold your interest but not capture your imagination. AMRU 3. Being a little generous, for Vincent’s benefit.

The Abominable Dr. Phibes (1971)

Dr. Phibes (Vincent Price) is horribly scarred from a car accident while rushing to be with his sick wife. When she dies, he holds  her nine doctors responsible. Presumed dead from his crash, Phibes enacts his plan to murder them in the mode of the biblical plagues, with minor alterations for filming purposes.

Virginia North was adorable as Phibes’ assistant Vulnavia, whose presence here makes no sense. She previously appeared in the Lazenby Bond film. Caroline Munro was uncredited as Phibes’ dearly departed. She would later go on to be in a Moore Bond film. Susan Travers played an argumentative nurse. Previously she had a small role in the excellent Peeping Tom. She didn’t get to do a Bond film, but did get to work with Hitchcock. She seemed to play nurses a lot.

It was sad to see a late career Joseph Cotten stumble through his lines. There wasn’t much dialog but what little there was, was terrible. Price recited all of his lines in a studio as his character could only talk using the technology of phonograph. Worse than the dialog, though, was the police work. They interview people and fail to ask the most basic questions. Every aspect of their work borders on laughable, but maybe that was the point. Ostensibly set in the 1920’s, Phibes’ Phantom opera house inspired mansion resembled a cheap amusement park ride, complete with a clockwork band.

Billed as Price’s 100th film, it was 85th by my count. A pretty ridiculous movie, The Abominable Dr. Phibes plays right to Price’s strengths. Not a good film by any measure, and maybe more dark comedy than horror, but it holds your attention. AMRU 3. I don't know if I can bring myself to watch the sequel.

Shock (1946)

A young wife, waiting for her recently released POW husband, checks into a hotel to advance the plot. Believing him dead for years, she becomes distraught when his arrival is delayed. Out on the balcony she witnesses an argument in another apartment that ends in murder. This shock puts her into a catatonic state. As luck would have it, a specialist (Vincent Price) happens to be staying at the same hotel and has just finished murdering his wife. This is a very delicate case. Better bring her to the sanitarium.

No mystery here as it never occurred to the filmmakers to play the ambiguity angle. Did she really witness a murder or was it all a delusion? Nope, she totally did. It’s just a matter of how everything plays out, which seems pretty obvious from the onset.

Our damsel in distress, cute Anabel Shaw, went on to do, well, fairly little else. She had a forgettable role in Gun Crazy but here she pouts her way into our hearts. Price is great as always in a very early villain role. If not for him, and the film’s short running time, I would not have considered watching it. Still, probably shouldn’t have.

The Amazon Prime film quality is quite poor. Rumor has it that there is a crisp version out there someplace, but I don’t think it would have helped. This is a slow moving, low budget, non-thrilling thriller that wastes a good Price performance. AMRU 2.

Return of the Fly (1959)

After his mother’s funeral, Philippe, son of the scientist Andre from the first film, learns what really happened to father. Spoiler alert: he accidentally turned himself into a bug then killed himself. Despite his debilitating fear of flies, he decides to complete dad’s work. Guess what happens? Vincent Price plays the disapproving uncle.

Written specifically to reuse the sets and props of the previous film, the filmmakers cut just about every corner they could. While The Fly was in color, Return Of was in black and white. The only corner they chose to keep was Price, who saw a few things in the script he liked. Unfortunately for him (and us) the filmmakers chose to cut that as well. What we end up with is essentially the same film, done worse, with slight modifications.

I don’t automatically discredit cash-grab sequels. I understand the forces at play, and sometimes poverty sparks creativity. Return of the Fly, however, brings nothing new to the table (except, maybe, Bunny-Man). Much of the first act is exposition to explain the events of the first film, as if there could be a single audience member that hadn’t see it the year prior. Same sets, same props, and for the most part same story. Even the same giant bug prosthetics. Bug-Man runs away while police shoot at him (insert your own reason here) while he holds his bug head on with his free hand! Price is all but wasted, putting in his most forgettable performance so far.

Return of the Fly isn’t hard to watch but even if you don’t try to compare it to the original, it is uninteresting. Poor script, mediocre acting, predictable story. Please skip. AMRU 2.

The Tingler (1959)

A pathologist (Vincent Price) is doing research on fear. He notices that the spines of executed criminals are split open leading him to believe that terror, not the electric chair, is what kills them. When the deaf mute wife of a theater owner dies unexpectedly, he x-rays the body and discovers the culprit: The Tingler! He cages the creature for further research and determines that a) everyone has one of these in their bodies and b) you can keep them from killing you by screaming.

The Castle-gimmick was that some of the theater seats were wired to give the occupant a shock at appropriate times during the film. Presumably the appropriate time was when the tingler escaped into the theater (the one in the movie), they cut the house lights, and Price tells everyone to scream or else the tingler will get them. That might have worked.

Here's something cool. The movie is in black and white except for one of the scare scenes, where the blood is red. The effect worked but it kinda makes you wonder why they didn't film the whole thing in color. Also, the actors playing the young couple actually got married (kinda cool) then divorced (not so cool). The actors playing the older couple (the theater owners) both died eight years later in May of 1967 (totally uncool). The creature itself was modelled after a Velvet Worm. Wikipedia doesn't say if this species moves through the use of visible wires. Another interesting part is when the Price character wanted to feel fear (you see, he's super macho-brave and is never afraid), so he takes a hit of acid. The first time an acid trip was featured in a movie.

Typical William Castle. In a TCM Biography his daughter said of the film, the biggest obstacle for the actors was to not burst out laughing at the silly prop and absurd dialog. Typical Vincent Price rising above the source material. There was a background story about Price's philandering wife, or her sister dating his assistant (see above comment regarding a "young couple"), but it doesn't play much into the film except maybe to give Price an opportunity for biting dialog. A fair effort all-in-all. A well made, cheesy, B horror movie. AMRU 3.5.

"The tingler exists in every human being, we now know. Look at that tingler, Dave. It's an ugly and dangerous thing-ugly because it's the creation of man's fear; dangerous because... because a frightened man is dangerous."

House of Wax (1953)

Professor Jarrod (Vincent Price) is an eccentric artist who runs a mildly successful wax museum. He speaks of his creations as if they were living, breathing people. He lines up a new business partner because his old wants out, but his old partner can't wait. So he burns down the museum for the insurance money. Prof dies in the fire.

After a hair-brained hottie is murdered and her body is stolen from the morgue, the dead Professor Jarrod re-emerges to start a new museum, one that panders to the public's taste for the macabre. Hotties roommate (and new intern's fiancee) notices an usually strong resemblance between her and the new Joan of Arc exhibit. Nobody takes her seriously.

Hair-brained hottie's roommate was played by Phyllis Kirk (no relation to the Captain). She was a delightful damsel in distress here and would go on in four years to be a pitiful excuse of a Nora Charles in the TV version of The Thin Man. Want another pointless Star Trek reference? One of the Can-Can girls would go on to play Yeoman Janice Rand. One of Jarrod's handymen struck me as very familiar. Turns out he was a young Charles Bronson.

This is a remake of 1933's Mystery of the Wax Museum, and the disk menu said that version was on side two, but it wasn't. Same thing happened with another movie in the set.

This, I believe, was Price's first horror role. At least his first staring role. And it's a good one. Low budget, I suppose, but well made. It was filmed in 3D, which is weird because the director had only one eye. It wasn't 3D on my end so I can't say how effective having a yo-yo flung in my face worked out.

Somewhat elevated and understated in style, much like The Fly, I liked it about as much. Won't scare anybody, or surprise them very much, but it won't bore you either. AMRU 3.5.

The Fly (1958)

Pretty Helene (Patricia Owens) kills her loving husband, but why? Francois (Vincent Price), the deceased's brother, wants to know. What follows is less sci-fi horror and more Victorian mystery. Finally, Helene is tricked into telling the story that we all know, whether or not we saw this or the many, many sequels and remakes.

But if not, I'm going to ruin it for you right here: Scientist Andre (David Hedison) is working on a machine to teleport matter. Refusing to experiment on animals, even insects, he jumps in himself. Unbenounced to him, a humble fly accompanies him in the chamber and their molecules are mixed up. Andre sports an inconveniently large head and creepy arm and somewhere out there is a little fly with a little human head. How cute.

Wifey goes crazy trying to find the fly in hopes of sending them both back through and straightening this matter out. But, sadly, time runs out and Dashing doctor bug-head is slowly being taken over by his insectoidal instincts. His last wish is to be killed and his body destroyed so nobody ever learns what happened. Good wifey crushes the good doctor in an industrial press. What a way to go.

The movie contains a total of two scenes that profess true horror lineage. The moment Helene sees her husbands true condition, and the subsequent shot of her in multi-part compound image format, and the climax scene in the spider web (Help meeeeeeee! Help meeeeeeeee!). Just about everything else is, as I said earlier, Victorian mystery. That said, if you didn't know the story (and, now you apparently do), the impact would have been significant. As for a modern viewer's reaction, it is well worth watching. Well made, well acted, and a true cultural icon. AMRU 3.5.

An Evening of Edgar Allan Poe (1972)

An impulse pickup at the library. In this made for TV movie, Vincent Price sits, mostly, alone on stage and recites a somewhat abridged version of four Edgar Allan Poe stories: The Sphinx, The Tell-Tale Heart, The Cask of Amontillado, and The Pit and the Pendulum.

Not much to say, we know the stories. Price sits and reads and shows off his acting chops. Quite impressive, actually. But at the same time, kinda boring. My boys weren't going to watch this one with me.

On the flip side of the disk is The Tomb of Ligeia. I chose to watch Evening because it was shorter. I returned the disk, Ligeia unwatched. I think I've seen enough Price costume dramas for a while. AMRU 3.

Tales of Terror (1962)

In a similar vain as 1963's Twice Told Tales, Vincent Price stars in three stories "inspired" by Edgar Allen Poe. While I've read very little from Nathaniel Hawthorne, Poe and I go way back. The three stories are The Black Cat, which isn't one of my favorites, The Case of M. Valdemar, which I never read, and Morella, which I never heard of. First up is Morella.

Young hottie Lenora (groan) visits dad (Price) who lives in an spooky mansion with cob webs and spiders. Where else would Price live? Lenora discovers mom resting in bed, which is a bit of a shock as she died when Lenora was an infant. Oh, and still blames her for her death.

Next is The Black Cat. Peter Lorre is an old, fat, drunk, layabout who is abusive to his wife. Despite this, his wife is fairly young and kinda hot. While about town he stumbles into a wine tasting being hosted for a famous and renowned wine taster (Price). Lorre proceeds to challenge him to a competition. Here, Price is about as gay as you've ever seen him, although he does use proper wine tasting mouth techniques, don't ask me why I know that. Being a notorious lush prepares one for so few things in life, but apparently one is to be a great wine critic. Lorre and Price strike up a friendship and Lorre brings him home to meet his young, under appreciated, and neglected wife.

The writers decided to combine the story with The Cask of Amontillado, a story I liked much better. Price's character is name Fortunato and they even sample some Amontillado.

The final story is The Case of M. Valdemar, which is based on The Facts in the Case of M. Valdemar. Price is a dying man and the only person who can temporarily relieve him of his pain is a mesmerizer (Basil Rathbone). Hot hot hot daughter doesn't like the good doctor and doesn't trust him, but daddy does and that's all that matters. What the doctor wants to do is mesmerize Price at the point of his death to see what happens. Oh, and to nail his hot daughter, but who wouldn't. Unfortunately for everybody, she marries a Chinese millionaire shortly after filming and retires from acting.

Roger Corman directed it while taking a break from doing absolute garbage. Somewhat darker than Twice Told Tales, I found them a little more entertaining and even handed. The sets seemed a little less cheesy. Price, Lorre, and Rathbone reunite in 1963 to do a parody called The Comedy of Terrors. Lorre would do two more undistinguished movies, then the man so amazing in M would pass from this Earth a couple months from his 60th birthday.

I liked it and so did my boys. AMRU 3.5.

Laura (1944)

Several weeks ago I picked up Laura and watched about two thirds of it before it failed. I tried cleaning it without success. It wasn't due yet, but I took it back to the library hoping they could quickly run it through their cleaning machine. There was a hold on it, so instead they checked it in. The library itself had placed the hold for the purpose of maintenance. I went out of my way to select a different copy to request. Several weeks later, it arrived. I'm certain it was the exact same copy. Not flawless, but I watched it uninterrupted, with my youngest son.

Laura (Gene Tierney) is dead. Murdered in her own apartment. Dana Andrews is Detective Mark McPherson. He first interviews fussy newspaper writer Waldo Lydecker (Clifton Webb) and learns a little about Laura. The two then visit Laura's would-be fiancee, Shelby Carpenter (Vincent Price) who is staying with Laura's aunt (nudge nudge, wink wink). Waldo does not like Shelby.

Through the investigation we learn that Laura was a singular individual. Beautiful, charming, talented, kind, she had it all. We wonder who could want to kill her while we learn that each suspect has a possible motive. Then, the story twists, making us reevaluate all we have learned.

Wittier than expected dialog, great acting, and a top notch story, it's hard to find fault with Laura. Webb's Waldo in particular has some great lines:

"I don't use a pen. I write with a goose quill dipped in venom."
"In my case, self-absorption is completely justified. I have never discovered any other subject quite so worthy of my attention."
"It's lavish, but I call it home."
"I should be sincerely sorry to see my neighbor's children devoured by wolves."

Price, too has some great ones:

"I don't know a lot about anything, but I know a little about practically everything."
"I can afford a blemish on my character, but not on my clothes."

The Providence Library will be showing Laura later in the month and had this disk failed, that's where I would have been. In fact, I may still. Laura was awesome. AMRU 4.5.

Gene Tierney was hot.

Twice-Told Tales (1963)

Twice-Told Tales is a reference to a collection of short stories written by 19th century writer Nathaniel Hawthorne. The 1837 work contained 36 stories. The 1963 movie contains three stories, only the first of which actually appeared in the Hawthorne volume. The movie is a low budget Vincent Price vehicle. He narrates and stars in all three parts.

Part 1 is "Dr. Heidegger's Experiment", the story of two elderly friends (Price and Sebastian Cabot of Family Affair and Pooh fame) visiting on a story night to speak in flowery, Elizabethan language. When the storm opens the tomb of Cabot's departed love, they investigate to discover dear Silvia's body perfectly preserved for 38 years. Maybe it has something to do with this water that's been dripping on her corpse? Lets do an Experiment!

The second, "Rappaccini's Daughter", the story of a mysterious young woman who stays shut away in a garden courtyard. A young university student is intrigued by her mysterious nature, and also is looking to do the Victorian mambo. I won't spoil her secret, but let's just say it involves being able to steam a lizard purple. Serious mood killer, people.

The rubber match is "House of the Seven Gables". A "gable" is the generally triangular portion of a wall between the edges of a sloping roof, because I just know you're interested. Anyhow, Gerald Pyncheon (Price again) returns after 17 years to claim his ownership of the estate. Only, there is a curse on the Pyncheon men. Apparently back in the day, the Pyncheon family swindled the land from Matthew Maulle, and the house was built on top of his grave. Totally curse-worthy. Jerry doesn't care about that, however. He is looking for a secret vault that contains something valuable.

I was a little bit put off by this set at first, what with the flowery language and cheap, Dark Shadows-esque sets, but I was won over. Two of my boys actually watched it with me, a real treat for me. The cheesy sets and obvious plot flaws were irrelevant. We had fun watching it. We all agreed that Seven Gables was the best and Rappaccini was the worst. If there were a Trice Told Tales I wouldn't jump on it, but I'm glad I saw this. Not Price at his best, but good. And fun. AMRU 3.

The Last Man on Earth (1964)

I've seen a lot of zombie movies recently. On Halloween AMC ran The Night of the Living Dead and I ended up seeing most of it, again. Apparently the inspiration for Night was The Last Man on Earth, and the book it was based on, I Am Legend. Last Man was in my collection, so I popped it in.

Dr. Robert Morgan (Vincent Price) lives in a world where everybody else is infected by a virus. The virus kills the host, then they rise from the dead to kill the living. Delightful. Price plays a scientist who spends the last few years searching for a cure. We follow his regular routine, make coffee, run to the super market, burn corpses, look around town for zombie/vampires to drive stakes into their hearts. Regular stuff.

The monsters fear their own reflection, avoid garlic, can talk, hide in daylight, and are killed by the stake thing. Totally vampires. They are slow moving, dimwitted, and resemble rotting corpses. Sounds like zombies. I'll call them Zompires. No, wait, Vampies! Lemme work on it and I'll get back to you.

In flashback we see a little bit of Morgan's life and how the epidemic started spreading. His wife and child were taken. Three years dealing with the dead and missing his family have driven him to the brink of despair, or insanity. So sad.

Last Man is in the public domain and the quality was fairly poor. It was made in Italy and the dubbing was terrible. Worse still, this wasn't the perfect role for Price. He plays better as the smug villain, not the heroic protagonist. And what can you say about a movie where you sit and think of all sorts of ways to make it better, while you are watching it? Oh, and the poster is way sexier than the movie. Still, it boasts a legacy of Night, The Omega Man, and I am Legend, so it was interesting to see how it all began. Classic "Glad I saw it, don't need to see it again" deal. Totally AMRU 3.

House on Haunted Hill (1959)

Frederick Loren (Vincent Price), an eccentric millionaire, rents a spooky mansion to throw a party for his wife and five strangers. If they stay the night, they each will get $10,000, which was serious coin back in the day. The house was the scene of a brutal double murder.

The film opens with a black screen and a blood curdling scream followed by ghostly noises. We are left to our imagination. Next we see the disembodied head of Watson Pritchard (Eliza Cook, Jr.) who explains a little bit of the background. His brother was murdered in the house and since then he has owned it.

Loren's head appears next, explaining a little about the party. It was his wife's idea, but he chose the guests. With the simple turning of the phrase "She's so amusing", we have great insight into their relationship. Vincent Price was simply amazing. The guests arrive in funeral cars.

Carol Ohmart plays Annabelle Loren, Price's hot trophy wife. She's still alive.(Edit: Nope! Died in 2002!) Richard Long is hunky test pilot Lance Schroeder. Maybe you remember him from Big Valley. I did. He died of multiple heart attacks at age 47. Alan Marshal is Dr. David Trent, a psychiatrist. Perhaps you remember him from guest appearances in 77 Sunset Strip and Surfside 6. I sure don't. He died of a heart attack at age 52. Julie Mitchum plays Ruth Bridges, a newspaper columnist. Perhaps you remember her as the sister of Robert Mitchum. That's probably the most interesting thing about her. This was her last film. She lived to the ripe old age of 88, outliving her baby brother by five and a half years. Carolyn Craig is Nora Manning, a young office worker. Isn't she pretty? Perhaps you remember ... no, you don't. Trust me. She died at 36 from gunshot wounds.

Director William Castle (dead of a heart attack at age 63) loved gimmicks. When shown in theaters, a skeleton would fly across the cinema at a critical point. That aside, the film had enough gimmicks on screen. Scary hands from behind the door, pianos playing without anyone at the keys, scary people jumping out at you. Matinee (1993) was based on him.

So, what is going on? Is Loren trying to kill the Mrs, or the other way around? Are there really ghosts like Watson Pritchard keeps saying, or are the spirits haunting him the bottled kind? Is Lance Schroeder trying to find out what's going on, or is he trying to get into Nora's pants? And maybe the Mrs. Lorens too? While the movie works the second time around, the story in large part doesn't, but that's ok. The atmosphere is great and the dialog is sharp. It's a fun movie.

Here's what doesn't work. The exterior of the house is about as un-haunted house looking as possible. A Denny's looks scarier. The Frank Lloyd Wright abomination was 35 years old at the time. Even worse, there's a scene at the beginning where you see downtown Los Angeles in the background. Thank god the majority of the film is interiors.

Nora Manning, who works for Mr. Loren, was invited because she needed the money. Or so he says, but maybe was was intended to get the Mrs. jealous. Her acting was horrible. She plays the young woman who is frightened of everything. Not a tall order. To watch her struggle and do it standing next to Price was plain weird.

A little silly, yes, but watchable, interesting, and fun. I could say it's AMRU 5 because I did buy it, but that's only because it cost a buck. How did this film end up in the public domain? I love Haunted Hill, flaws and all. One of the best B horror films. AMRU 4.