Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948)

Chick and Wilbur (Bud and Lou) operate a shipping company and Lawrence Talbot (Lon Chaney Jr.) urges them not to deliver two crates. Why? Because Dracula and Frankenstein’s monster (Bela Lugosi and Glenn Strange) are inside them. Spoiler alert. There’s more going on involving an evil scientist and Dracula’s plan with the monster, but really this is an excuse for the boys to clown around and act scared.

I watched and enjoyed The Abbott and Costello Show after school at some point, but if you are unfamiliar, Bud would boss Lou around and Lou would act silly and screw up. Basically a Moe/Curly relationship. I started this film a couple years ago but was put off by the mean-spirited nature of the comedy. I didn’t have that objection this time but never found myself laughing.

I remember hearing that Chaney once said that Bud and Lou made a mockery of the horror genre, but I can’t find a source for that. Times had changed, though. The self serious gothic horror of the depression simply didn't play during post-war optimism. I’m sure Chaney didn’t mind cashing the check.

This was the second and last time Lugosi would play Dracula, although he would occasionally play the character in everything but name. This would also be his last project with Universal. Glenn Strange is sometimes thought of as the Shemp of Frankenstein, having replaced the icon Boris Karloff for House of Frankenstein. At 6’5”, he best fit the physique of an imposing monster. He will forever be identified by his three performances (the NY Times used his picture in monster makeup for Karloff’s obituary) but he appeared in 266 feature films, many of them westerns.

Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein isn't at all scary, not particularly funny, and they don't meet Frankenstein. It's interesting mostly because of Lugosi’s performance, still at the top of his game. Perhaps I'm a little generous with a score of 3.0.

The Cyclops (1957)

A young woman (Gloria Talbott) hires a crew to sneak her into the mountainous forbidden zone in Mexico to search for her fiance who crashed there several years ago. Soon we learn that each crew member has their own reasons for going on the trip.

Writer/Director/Producer Bert I. Gordon made a bunch of films in the second half of the 1950s usually depicting creatures of unusual size. Here our heroes discover huge creatures and later a giant deformed man. I wonder …

Lon Chaney Jr. was squarely in the “take any job” segment of his career. Five years earlier he impressed in a small role in High Noon (1952) but would never repeat that success. Pretty Gloria Talbott had a long career in low budget genre pictures, starting when she was just four years old. Years ago I saw her interviewed for the underwhelming 100 Years of Horror (1996) and it was clear time was not good to her. She passed a couple years later at the age of 69.

Considering the humble budget, the effects for Cyclops aren’t that bad. Occasionally the monster would be transparent, but otherwise effective. Mr. BIG would again explore the giant man trope later the same year with The Amazing Colossal Man, which got a sequel the following. Oddly, the only cast member in common between the three films is Duncan 'Dean' Parkin, who played today’s Cyclops and Colonel Manning from the Colossal Man sequel.

The Cyclops almost feels like a proof of concept for Gordon’s later Giant movies. It’s the shortest of the three and while not without good story elements, the conclusion feels a little rushed. But it holds your interest and doesn’t overstay its welcome. AMRU 3.

One Million BC (1940)

Hikers lost in a storm stumble on a cave being investigated by an anthropologist. He tells the group a story about the ancient people who once lived there.

One upon a time there were two tribes. The Rock tribe was brutal. The men take what they want from the weaker. The women and children eat after the men's dogs, and the old are lucky if they eat at all. The Shell tribe, however, share their food. They eat vegetables, sing, laugh, and enjoy life.

One fateful day, after his meat is taken a young rock tribesman (Victor Mature) makes the mistake of striking the chief (Lon Chaney Jr). After a fight, our young hero is banished from the Rock tribe and limps away. He happens upon the Shell tribe, who take him in. At first he is confused by all this sharing and caring, but there's a hot blond (Carole Landis), so he wasn't complaining.

Our hero saves a child from what looks to be a poor man's sleestak. I think he killed it less out of fear and more out of pity. As someone who studied Anthro for a bit, I need to divorce myself from the terrible science here. Some films seem not try to get the science right, but BC appear to have tried and failed miserably. I choose to suspend disbelieve on this point, so no more from the nerd.

Legendary director D.W. Griffith apparently walked away while making this project because of a disagreement with Little Rascal's producer Hal Roach. D.W. thought there aught to be character development somewhere in there. Silly directors, am I right people? Hal and Hal Jr finish the direction.

About a year and a half ago I saw Valley of the Dragons, which I liked. I understood it lifted some of the giant lizard scenes from One Million BC. What I didn't realize is that it lifted virtually the entire story from it as well. Two tribes, misfits, love interest, dino attack, volcano, bigger dino attack, happily ever after (except for the people who died). Valley focused the story more on the conflict between male leads and making them modernish (and blaming Jules Verne), but at best you can call it a slight reimagining.

One brief note about pretty Carole Landis. Lovely and charming, her career never really took off. She ran through a series of failed marriages when she decided to off herself at the ripe old age of 29. In keeping with the tragic figures theme, she had taken her first name after Lombard.

The sets looked good and the silly dino sequences were ambitious for the day (sleestak-man not-with-standing), and the scene of a woman being swallowed by lava was quite effective. The story, however, was dull. Not bad, I suppose, from a director accustomed to producing silly one-reelers, but it's hard to develop story when characters don't talk. D.W. was right. I suppose I need to see the Raquel Welch version now. AMRU 3.

House of Dracula (1945)

Dracula (John Carradine) needs help. He hates the life of the undead superhero, so he seeks out the good Doctor Edelmann. Surely he can solve the problem. Drac gets all mysterious what with him needing to only come only at night. Under the microscope, Dr. Edelmann discovers that Drac's blood contains a large number of midi-chlorians ...

Also seeking free help is Lawrence Talbot (Lon Chaney Jr), hating his proto-wolverine existence. Doc concludes Chaney's head ... that is, Talbot's head ... isn't soft enough. Meanwhile, Drac starts making moves on Doc's lovely-ish assistant, wolfie jumps a cliff trying to end his life, and they then stumble upon Frankenstein's Monster sitting in the muck. And it's about then that I realized that this series has finally run it's course.

The problem of crowding the film with monsters is two-fold. First, you lose focus on a central story. Are we following Drac's plight or Wolfie's? Secondly, screen time for each is drastically cut. Frank's Monster is barely in it and Drac makes an earlier than expected exit. Maybe it would have worked better if you made the monsters the direct protagonists rather than spiral the story around the doctor and his assistants. Still, make the climax a duel between wolfie and Drac, and lose the Monster instead of using him as a Deus ex machina of sorts. Better movies don't have you re-writing them in your head while watching.

Code standards has that monsters must die at the end of the film. As such, there has to be a vaguely plausible explanation why the actors were getting work again. We completely forgo this in Wolfie and Drac's case. Lionel Atwill, at death's door, makes one last appearance. As a cop, once again. And no Universal Horror can be considered complete without a hunchback assistant. Here is the only unexpected twist the film offers: the hunchback is a hot chick. Seriously. And the mad scientist character is ... well, I'll hold off on that.

Here we rest the original run of the Universal Horror series. Typical in acting and production quality of the series. My biggest mistake was grouping the movies by central character. I should have watched them in sequence instead. If I watch them again, that's what I will do. So, how come they never invited the Mummy to the party? I'll finish them off next October. AMRU 3.

Son of Dracula (1943)

The mysterious Count Alucard (Lon Chaney Jr) is invited to visit the plantation Dark Oaks in the American south. Debutante Katherine Caldwell met him in Budapest and discovered they both share an interest in the morbid. Kat likey the count, but Kat's best Bo Frank no likey him.

Turns out Alucard is actually some relative of the notorious Count Dracula (perhaps his son ...) and has come to America because he has sucked the life out of everyone back home. Looks like it's up to Doctor Harry, doing his best van/von Helsing impersonation, to set things straight.

Well, Count and Kat marry causing Frank to go slightly insane. When he is arrested (for her murder, no less) she visits him in jail to let him in on the plan. I'm not letting you in on the plan. You gotta watch.

By 1943 the original run of Universal horror movies was coming to a close. Creighton, late to the party, was becoming Universal's man for the job. And in the role of "Dracula" he looked the part. That of a brutal European count, that is. He looked nothing like Bela, but because he wasn't playing the same character, that didn't matter. Creighton played all the Universal monsters at one point, as was arguably the worst.

Anyhow, here finally we see the drac to bat transformation only hinted at earlier (Daughter never even bothered to transform). Looks a little cartoonie, but that can't be helped.

A refreshing change of scenery (swamps and plantations), an interesting love triangle, a satisfying ending, and some twists along the way made this a welcome addition to the collection. It even survives Chaney's terrible acting. That man reads dialog like he's playing whack-a-mole. AMRU 3.5.

So, what do you think? Should I bother watching the 1974 Ringo Starr vehicle?

Dracula vs. Frankenstein (1971)

One more Frankenstein movie! Well, almost.

Lounge singer with unbelievable cleavage (Regina Carrol) is looking for her sister who took in with the terrifying underworld of surfer dudes. Unbeknownst to her, sis's head was chopped off by Chaney Jr. That's ok, though. His boss, Dr. Duryea (J. Carrol Naish), can put them back on. Does it all the time. Ya see, he runs a museum of murder and needs freshly decapitated women to keep his exhibit fresh, or something like that. Or is it that he is the last member of the Frankenstein family and he needs to experiment? And what's up with the idiot bikers? And what, is Dracula being played by Greg Brady?

I could try to piece together the story line of this turd, but it's not worth the effort. What happened is this was supposed to be a biker movie with different lead actors, then it was turned into a monster movie with earlier footage was clumsily spliced in. There is little to no mystery, no horror, and little to distinguish itself. I watched it for no reason than because it was the last film of two horror icons: Great talent J. Carrol Naish and great nothing Lon Chaney Jr. Chaney played a mute head-chopping monster and Naish was a shell of his former self. Skip it. Need proof? Take a look at the Monster. They weren't even trying. AMRU 2.

Instead I will spend my time on Regina Carrol, the only thing here worth looking at. The movie starts with her singing a silly lounge song and I presumed it was dubbed in as she was clearly just eye candy. Turns out, she actually sang the song. So, nice set of lungs. Regina starred in a variety of explotation flicks like Satan's Sadists, Angel's Wild Women, and Girls for Rent. Dracula vs. Frankenstein, despite being in a similar vein, had almost no nudity to speak of. By the way, Regina's husband directed all of them.

Regina retired from Hollywood in the late 70's but continued to perform on stage. She died of cancer at age 49. Less than four months later, director hubby remarried. Less than three years after that, he tragically died when someone popped a cap in his ass.

House of Frankenstein (1944)

Or, Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man 2.

Not really, but almost. The evil doctor Niemann (Boris Karloff) and his faithful assistant Igor ... I mean Daniel (J. Carrol Naish) escape from prison, commandeer a travelling circus, and head for Visaria in order to take up the good doctor Frankenstein's work. Said circus also happens to feature the bones of Dracula (John Carradine), which if you take the stake out, his evil body reappears.

While searching for Frankenstein's notes in his demolished mansion, they stumble across the body of the Monster (Glenn Strange) and the Wolf Man (Lon Chaney Jr). Stop me if you heard this one before. Anyhow, Niemann promises Daniel a proper body so that he can woo this hot gypsy chick, promises to keep Dracula's coffin safe during the day, and promises Wolfie that he will kill him. Instead, the douche, he totally uses his new circle of friends to work on his real project: getting the monster back to full strength and killing the people who sent him to prison. And what would a Frankenstein flick be without Lionel Atwill in there someplace. Once again, he plays an inspector.

So, Karloff took a break from Broadway to appear in the movie, but apparently Lugosi wasn't free. Seems he took up Boris' role. Therefore, Carradine becomes a lackluster Dracula. And speaking of which, what, was he in the movie a whole four minutes? The only reason I can imagine for his appearance is to make the movie poster more crowded with monsters and to introduce him for the next movie. I understand there was a thought to include The Mummy as well, but that would have been ridiculous.

A few interesting points: As this movie mostly takes place in "Visaria", which sounds like "Vasaria" where Ghost Of was set, the evil doctor house is that of the other brother's, and he was the least evil of all the Frankenstein's. Nobody from the actual family appears, unless you count the Monster. George Zucco had a small part as the circus owner. I had to go online to find out what role he played. It was all too brief. And, Chaney, Strange, and Naish all died in 1973. Chaney and Naish's collective last movie was the schlocky Dracula vs. Frankenstein, which I totally have to watch.

Thirteen years after the advent of Universal's reign as the king of horror, we are seeing their demise. The appearance of a large, slow moving creature isn't enough to scare audiences anymore and compensating with a monster mash has limited appeal. There is one more, however, but I will explore that with the Dracula line. Eventually.

Despite this, I actually found House Of to be a bit of a rebound for the franchise. It was fun. Doesn't touch the early work, but every bit as good as Son Of. AMRU 3.5.

Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man (1943)

Grave robbers rob the grave of Lawrence Talbot (Lon Chaney Jr.) and find his corpse covered with wolfbane. When they remove it, he awakens, transforms, and goes on a rampage. He awakes in a Cardiff hospital. They think he's crazy because he claims to be a dead man.

He escapes to find the gypsy woman (Maria Ouspenskaya) who's son he killed in his last film. She'll help him! She tells him to find the mysterious Doctor Frankenstein! If anyone knows the answer, it'll be him. So, off they go, to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of ... oh, I'll say Vasaria.

Well, Frankie's dead so Larry chugs through the ruins of Castle Frankenstein (which I guess is the mansion from Ghost of) looking for the the late doctors notes, and finds the monster, himself (Bela Lugosi, why not, it was his brain). Frozen in ice. Of course he's still alive. Can't kill a good monster.

So, Larry meets up with the Baroness Elsa Frankenstein (Ilona Massey) who now sports a German accent. Into the mix is the dashing doctor Mannering from the Cardiff hospital and Lionel Atwill as the mayor. Larry convinces her to show the location on her dad's notebook in hopes of finding a way to drain the life from his body. You see, Larry wants to die.

The image of the monster, stumbling around with out-stretched hands is from here. You see, the monster was supposed to be blind. That happened at the end of Ghost of, but they forgot to mention it here. Also, the monster could talk but all of his lines were cut. Go figure.

They swapped actresses for Elsa Frankenstein, but for a good reason. Evelyn Ankers from Ghost of also played Talbot's love interest in The Wolf Man. That would be just weird. Weirder still was the idea of trying to have one actor (Lon) play both lead monsters. That idea was thankfully scrapped.

So, the long slow decline of the Frankenstein franchise continues. Certainly not unwatchable, but disjointed and not as interesting as the previous efforts. AMRU 3. And, yes. Elsa Frankenstein does meet the Wolf Man.

The Ghost of Frankenstein (1942)

The villagers aren't satisfied with the destruction of the monster. Now they want to destroy the castle and kill Ygor again (apparently a broken neck and several bullets to the body aren't enough to kill him). Ygor (Bela Lugosi) runs to the laboratory while the castle is being destroyed and discovers the body of the monster (Lon Chaney Jr, this time) still living, encased in sulfur. The monster is weakened but they escape the destruction.

Ygor and his pal decide to make their way to another village where the OTHER son of Frankenstein lives, who apparently lives in Pemberley. Ludwig Frankenstein (Cedric Hardwicke) is a brain specialists. What is it with these people? Anyhow, Ygor decides to blackmail Ludwig into recharging the Monster's batteries, promising to tell everyone of the dark family secret. How the misadventures of the Frankenstein family could still be a secret by the forth movie is a mystery to me.

Anyhow, Ludwig agrees to hear him out and is desperate to isolate his comfy life from the family curse. But this Frankenstein isn't so eager to dabble in the black arts, even though brains is his specialty. Instead he decides to destroy the monster. His colleague, Doctor Bohmer (Lionel Atwill) sees this as murder and refuses to assist. Back story: Dr. Bohmer's scientific reputation was apparently ruined when an experiment went wrong. Sorry, no details other than that.

Then Ludwig gets an idea! What if he put the brain of a recently deceased nice person into the monster's body? That would solve everybody's problems! No more reckless monster. And what luck! He happens to have a dead assistant conveniently lying around with a perfectly good brain. Ygor has a better idea. Put HIS brain into the monster! Then Ygor and Buddy can be one and the same! Frankenstein doesn't like this idea but Ygor convinces Bohmer to go along.

All in all, not a bad movie. Certainly every bit as good as Son of. The weakest part, of course, is old friend Creighton. On the surface he appears to be the perfect choice. Large frame, ugly mug, and bad in the verbal department. But Karloff showed that even when covered with makeup and limited to grunts, real acting skill shows through. Also, they looked much different. The other-worldly stare and hollow cheeks being replaced by Chaney's chubby face and half-baked eyes. This story centered around Ludwig and Ygor for obvious reasons.

Even though Atwill's character didn't die in the last one, he played a very different part here. Ralph Bellamy once again plays a cop in search of a monster played by Chaney. Apparently filming started right after The Wolf Man wrapped. Karloff didn't return because he was appearing on Broadway and had no interest in reprising the role. He would later have a role in House of.

One thing that might be missing is the Gothic scenery. The Evil laboratory, the creepy castle, the desolate grave yard. A lower budget made concessions and we have a nice house, a surgical operating room, and a courthouse.

One plot point has the monster befriending a small girl. This gave him a level of humanity to audiences of the day, but seemed a little creepy in this age. I'll leave that one right there. AMRU 3.5.

The Black Sleep (1956)

Doctor Ramsey (Herbert Rudley) is condemned to die for a murder he did not commit. He is visited by his old medical school professor, Sir Cadman (Basil Rathbone), who gives him a drug to make the final execution painless. Painless, indeed!

Ramsey dies of an apparent heart attack and the body is delivered to Cadman, who gives him an antidote to wake the dead doctor up. Odd way to recruit assistants, but who am I to judge?

Well, the good Doctor Cadman brings the good doctor Ramsey to his eerie castle to perform horrible brain experiments on anonymous "volunteers". Things are going well until the troublesome hottie Laurie (Patricia Blair) interferes. It seems the evil Mungo (Lon Cheney Jr.) who is always trying to kill her, is her father. He got that way after Cadman experimented with his brain. Spoil sport.

Not a bad movie, on the whole. Low budget and not terribly original, but worth the time spent watching it. This was Bela Lugosi's last film (Plan 9 does not count) and he looked mostly dead as the mute butler. John Carradine had a small but memorable role and Creighton was serviceable as the mute brute. What Tor Johnson was doing in the film, I have no idea. I don't think he had more that 30 seconds of screen time. I guess they wanted to get as many famous horror names in as possible. Karloff had more sense, but what was Basil's excuse?

Akim Tamiroff had a memorable role as a gypsy who retrieves the volunteers for Rathbone's experiments. The role was offered to Peter Lorre, but he asked for too much money. I can totally see him in the role, but Tamiroff was diabolically excellent. I'll keep an eye out for more of his work.

All in all, vaguely creepy, nice atmosphere, and nice to see all the familiar faces. Totally unoriginal and lacking a little punch, but better than some I've given a 3.0 to.

"Mungo only pawn in game of life."

No, wait. that was a different movie.

High Noon (1952)

The movie starts with Marshal Will Kane (Gary Cooper) marrying, apparently, his granddaughter (Grace Kelly). While in the literal process of hanging up his tin star, he learns that his old nemesis' homies are back in town, waiting for the Noon train. Could this mean trouble?

Apparently so. Seems that said nemesis was released from prison. Might he be on the aforementioned train? Hmmmm? Of course he is. Maybe he has it out for the man who put him behind bars? Hmmmm? Of course he does.

Marshal Kane's close friends try to convince him to turn chicken and run, but that doesn't sit well with 'oll Coop. So instead he tries to get a posse together to stand bad Frank Miller down. This is where it gets tricky.

It seems that not everyone is all that willing to get involved. Young Lloyd Bridges wants a hand-out, the previous sheriff (Creighton Chaney) is chicken, and some townsfolk side with Frankie. What's going on? Maybe this isn't a simple morality tale. Maybe there's some complexity to Marshal Kane. Maybe he isn't the hero he (and his delicious wife) think!

Nope, it's a straight up morality tale. Kane = Good, Miller = Evil, and the townsfolk who don't stand behind our hero are all yeller. What we have here is an allegory for McCarthyism, and not everyone in Hollywood was willing to stand firm.

51 year old Cooper was a fading star when he took the role. Not only did this revitalize his career (bleeding ulcer and all), it's rumored he bagged 22 year old Grace in the process. Not too shabby for the old mule.

Well made movie, almost done in real time. Clocks feature prominently showing how close we are to High Noon. Well acted and directed. It's considered the greatest slight in Oscar history when it lost best picture to some DeMille circus movie. It's my favorite movie of '52. So far. ARMU 3.5.

The Three Musketeers (1933)

I was looking for another serial. Something I can watch an episode of when I didn't have time or didn't want to think too hard. The Three Musketeers sounded good. Besides it features early work by some big names. How quickly I was disappointed.

The Musketeers in this version resemble less the work by Dumas and more the work of some dumb ass. These musketeers are soldiers in the French foreign legion and closer akin to stooges than anything else. Anyhow, back to the story, as it were.

John Wayne is Lieutenant Tom Wayne (seriously?), hotshot American flyer. In the right place at the right time, Tom saves the lives of three men, Clancy, Renard, and Schmidt, who call themselves The Three Musketeers. The Musketeers in turn decide they will help out Lieutenant Tom whenever he needs it. Over the twelve chapters, that turns out to be a lot.

The French are fighting in the middle east, but in this picturesque setting there is controversy. Apparently there are Arabs who don't fully appreciate their French overlords. They actually want to throw them out, the ungrateful brutes! They are led by a mysterious person known as El Shaitan. Helping him out is a young Lieutenant Armand (Creighton Chaney credited as "Creighton Chaney") who also happens to be the brother of young Tom's sweetheart Elaine. Armand has a change of heart, and therefore is murdered by the villainous El Shaitan. Of course Tom has to stumble into the scene at just the wrong moment to get him accused of the murder.

There is a missing letter that clears Tom, some stuff about weapons trafficking, and lots of guesswork as to who this Shaitan character really is. Tom and the gang get into one pointless fight after another, there are narrow escapes typical of the genre, and lots of fancy horsemanship, if you're into that sort of thing. In the end, well, you can guess it.

I started this serial quite a while ago. Back in cold weather, actually. It took me so long to complete because it really wasn't all that interesting. In fact, I would certainly have given up on it had the likes of the Duke, Creighton, and a young Noah Beery Jr. not been in it (the later two, just barely). I'll be more selective for my next serial.

I'll say this, though. It was quite clear even then that Wayne could command a scene. Not knowing who he was, I could see guessing that he would go on to bigger things. The restored version still had fairly a poor audio tract, and the flashbacks made me think once I was accidentally watching the same episode a second time. Not intended to be a historical document, it succeeds in that modest goal. For me, I should have skipped it. AMRU 2.

The Wolf Man (1941)

The eldest son of the affluent Talbot family dies in a horrible hunting accident, so ne'er-do-well younger son (Creighton Chaney) returns home to patch things up with 'oll dad (Claude Rains) and take his place as favorite boy. Dad shows junior around the laboratory. Seems Larry knows a thing or two about telescopes as he took a janitorial job in a California observatory. Straight away he points said telescope townward to spy the young hotties.

His eye lands on young Gwen (Evelyn Ankers). He pays her a visit and creepily explains how he has been stalking her. She is a proper lady and engaged to a proper gentleman, but for some reason cannot resist his lumpy goodness. He coerces her into visiting those lovely gypsies that are welcomed everywhere they go. To keep her virtue intact, Gwen brings along her undoable friend, Jenny (Fay Helm).

They visit the Gypsy fortunate teller Bela (Bela). Jenny gets her fortune read first. Seems her future has her being chowed on by an Evil man-wolf. Lumpy Larry arrives in the nick of time to kill the offending wolf, but after her throat has been ripped out. For his troubles, he gets a nasty bite to his chest. When the authorities arrive, they find Bela's body and Larry's walking stick. Hmmmm ...

Would I be spoiling things to say that Chaney becomes The Wolf Man?

Rains playing Chaney's father was rather interesting, because in real life Creighton's father was also a little man who could act circles around him. Bela was also good in his limited role, and Ralph Bellamy was good in his supporting role, but who I really noticed was Jessie Arnold as the Gypsy woman. Creepy and nuanced, the right kind of character actor. Chaney, as always, is ham-fisted in every scene.

Now, I've pointed out that the modern incarnation of zombies (post-Romero) are actually ghouls, not zombies as they exist in "real life". So too will I criticize the werewolf. IMdb asserts that many myths of werewolves come from The Wolf Man, but a few came from Werewolf of London, most notably that being a werewolf is a curse brought on by a bite. In folklore, however, one is granted the power of a werewolf by signing a pact with the Devil.

That aside, this icon of horror that made Chaney "Jr." a star, owes very little to him. The good story and script, good acting (mostly), and quality sets and production survived a mediocre actor in the lead. Imagine if Karloff got the role. AMRU 3.5.

"Even a man who is pure in heart and says his prayers by night, may become a wolf when the wolfbane blooms and the autumn moon is bright."

Spider Baby (1968)

or, The Maddest Story Ever Told.

Written, shot, and edited one afternoon back in 1964, this movie sat on the shelf for four years while everyone associated with it filed for bankruptcy. It was finally released in 1968. Spider Baby is significant for me because three actors I've noted in my blog-life come together for one of their last films. Lon Chaney Jr only had four movies released after it, Mantan Moreland had five (one uncredited) and hottie Carol Ohmart had but one. Of course those numbers go up if we use the 1964 filming date, but hey, I'm manufacturing a theme here, people!

This is the story of the Merrye family. They live is a large rural home, have a faithful family chauffeur, and are apparently fairly wealthy. The bad news is that they are sick, degenerate, murderous, inbred cannibals. Think The Addams Family, only more so.

A messenger (Moreland) arrives to deliver a letter from a lawyer. The lawyer, his secretary, and two distant cousins will be arriving with the intent on claiming the family fortune. Mr. Messenger is promptly hacked to death.

The Merrye family consists of two hot sisters, Elizabeth and Virginia, and brother Ralphie, who is in advanced stages of Merrye Syndrome, a degenerative disease causing them to regress mentally, socially, and physically. Chaney Jr is their caretaker.

The unusually short, cigar chomping lawyer with a Hitler mustache arrives with his pleasant-enough looking secretary, along with Emily and Peter (husband and wife? Brother and sister?), who are distant relatives with a claim on the estate. They insist on staying the night. Does anyone here see that as a bad idea?

At the moment I can think of one example (Temple of Doom), but I know that the "disgusting dinner" scene has been done several times. Here it was not done well, methinks. Roasted cat, garden fungus, and weeds. Maybe if the video was clearer it would have had a bigger impact.

Apparently the key for the Merrye sisters to act as menacing as possible is for them to act as outrageous as possible. And, quite frankly, as bad as possible. Even Ohmart isn't buying the script. Not until she finds creepy Ralphie spying her goody-goody yum-yums that she realizes she's in trouble.

The sub-title was a reference to The Greatest Story Ever Told, which would have been cool had they been able to release it in a timely manner. Renamed and re released several times, it has been given names like Cannibal Orgy and The Liver Eaters. Yum. A couple of the characters mention liking horror movies and express their fondness for The Wolf Man, which, of course starred Lonnie.

It's hard for a comedy/horror to strike a good balance. Slightly too much humor destroys the horror. Spider Baby was creepy. Was it funny? Kinda. Spider Baby did some things right. Unfortunately, it did a lot wrong as well. Parts of the script absolutely sucked. There is a remake in the works. I'm curious if they can right the wrongs, or if they will simply screw it all up.

AMRU 3.

Indestructible Man (1956)

Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird, it's a plane. No, it's Indestructible Man!

Enough quality entertainment, time to revert to garbage! Indestructible is something of a retelling of Frankenstein as a 50's detective story. Lon Chaney Jr. is Butcher Benton, one bad dude. He gets the electric chair for his crimes but his cohorts, who turned states evidence against him, get off scot free. Here's the twist: only Benton knows where the 60 Gs are located. Butch takes that information to the grave. Well, almost.

Insert mad scientist. Well, not actually mad. He wants to do cancer research and needs the body of the recently dead, so he steals one. Butch will do. Funny thing, though. His experiments did two things. It brought butch back from the dead, and it transformed him into Indestructible Man!

Butch can no longer talk because the experiments burned out his vocal cords. That's just fine. Monsters can't talk anyhow. His anger and hatred is expressed by poorly edited closeups of his ugly face. So Butch goes about his business of finding and killing his lawyer and accomplices, plus anybody handy. Into the mix are Butch's girlfriend who works at a burlesque house, and detective Dick, hot on his trail.

More like hot on her tail. Detective Dick is clueless to what is going on and how to proceed. But he does know this hot blond should be ready to move on any moment, now.

Indestructible Man looks like a made for TV movie. TV level acting, script, and overall production. A scene would start and the actors appeared to be waiting for the cameras. Nothing too bad but nothing to distinguish it.

This was a Lon Chaney Jr. vehicle. For those who don't know, that's Creighton Chaney, the bastard son of one of the greatest silent film stars. After Lon's death (age 47, lung cancer - cigarettes are harmless, boys and girls!) he changed his name to Lon Jr to boost his career. They looked nothing alike. Jr was five inches taller than dead 'oll dad. Eventually Creighton dropped the Jr altogether hoping people would confuse him with pop.

Come the middle 1950's, Junior's career was winding down. The big man liked the bottle. He would do a lot of television and low budget crap. This is my first Lon Jr. movie, so I will hold off disparaging his career until I've seen more of it. Can't wait.

This movie had no major flaws. It simply was uninspired and unoriginal. It was narrated by Detective Dick doing a Jack Webb impersonation. I'm glad I saw a Lon Jr. movie. I'm not glad it was this one. AMRU 2.5. Watch it here.