The Giant Behemoth (1959)

In a presentation, marine biologist Karnes (Gene Evans) warns that nuclear testing in the world’s oceans will eventually lead to nature striking back. He is mostly dismissed, but lucky for him nature DOES strike back in the form of … something.

Initially the monster was to be a giant blob, but producers wanted another dinosaur. Elements more consistent with a radioactive blob remain. Willis O’Brien of King Kong (1933) fame was brought in, but budgets and deadlines were tight, and it shows.

Originally titled “Behemoth, the Sea Monster” which sounds a little like a kids show, it was later renamed to The Giant Behemoth. This I presume to distinguish it from those tiny behemoths we all know and love.

Eugene Lourie, who also directed The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms (1953), dispensed with the love interest part of the story, wanting to focus on science and monster mayhem. This decision may have contributed to the exposition heavy dialog. A young couple is introduced but disappears before the second act, despite being billed third and fourth.

The Giant Behemoth is a very by-the-numbers monster movie. Unfortunately it offers nothing new to the genre, and the stop motion effects were a half step down. The creature, unlike those created by Ray Harryhausen, lacked personality. AMRU 2.5.

The Ghost of Yotsuya (1959)

A ronin Samurai uses ruthless tactics to marry for money. When this doesn’t work out, he plots to kill his wife and upgrade to a richer bride. His dead first wife, however, has other plans.

The original title is “Tôkaidô Yotsuya kaidan” which I confused for Kwaidan (1964). Kaidan translates roughly to Ghost Story. Based on a kabuki play, the production retains a very stage-like feel. Some scenes were clearly filmed on location, while others did little to hide their stage origin.

There is no hint that our main character isn’t a terrible person. He hardly ever utters a line of dialog that doesn’t reveal his nature. His name is Iemon Tamiya, and because an uppercase I looks like a lowercase L, it seemed like people were calling him Lemon. He was kinda sour.

My main issue with The Ghost of Yotsuya is that the basic premise of the film is treated as a third act reveal. The story is well known in Japan, so there was no way to hide this spoiler, but for me it was a bit of a slog to watch to get to the predetermined conclusion. Visually interesting but otherwise unremarkable. AMRU 3.

The Wasp Woman (1959)

Frumpy Janice (pretty Susan Cabot), founder of a now floundering cosmetics company, learns that her company’s troubles are caused by the fact she is older now, and thus an uggo. As luck would have it, she is contacted by an eccentric man who claims he can reverse aging using a wasp royal jelly serum. What could possibly go wrong? Consider the film’s title.

Legendary director/producer Roger Corman recently passed and I was never a fan. I've watched ten of the 46 feature films he directed and I rated none particularly high. Over the years I’ve seldom resisted the urge to cast shade his way. While I never cared for his esthetic, I must acknowledge his importance to independent cinema. The Corman Film School trained and mentored an impressive number of people. His legacy includes the names James Cameron, Peter Bogdanovich, Francis Ford Coppola, and Joe Dante along with almost 500 producer credits.

Pretty Susan Cabot had a fair career in B movies, many with Corman. This would be her last. Later she had an affair with King Hussein of Jordan, producing a son who suffered from dwarfism. Hussein would leave her when he learned of her Jewish heritage. She would slowly become mentally unstable, possibly because she was taking her son’s growth hormones. He would bludgeon her to death in her sleep. She was 59. And you thought Susan Peter’s story was grim. 

The Wasp Woman suffers from its budget. Cabot was laughable in her wasp costume, and the action scenes were poorly shot. But there is some amusing dialog and the depiction of the pressure on a woman in charge to keep up appearances might even be a little progressive for the time. At barely an hour long, brevity is its virtue, but it earns another meh 3.0 score.

The Killer Shrews (1959)

A man delivering supplies to a scientist on a secluded island must stay the night because a hurricane is coming, eventually. The crew must remain indoors overnight because of an experiment gone wrong. I don’t want to say too much, but it’s Killer Shrews. Giant, ravenous, killer shrews.

Visual effects technician Ray Kellogg wanted to direct a movie, and scratched together some money and talent for the project. Our hero is Thorne Sherman (James Best). Tall, handsome Best was a could-have-been minor leading man but instead had a long career as an extra, secondary character, or character actor in both film and television. He will forever be remembered as Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane on TV’s Dukes of Hazzard.

The low budget and rushed schedule is evident on every frame. The opening narration contradicts the actual premise of the film, much of the dialog seems to have been written by someone with only a passing familiarity with human conversation, and the shrews were dogs in costume. Truth be told, I liked that last part.

Baruch Lumet, father of director Sidney Lument, is the well-intentioned doctor with a thick  Yiddish accent. Pretty, young Swedish model Ingrid Goude plays his daughter with a decidedly non-Yiddish accent. Much of the rest of the small cast also served as producers.

The Killer Shrews has a certain charm. It’s a low budget, quickie to the drive-in film and knows it. Much more could have been made of the resources at hand, but at an hour nine, it doesn’t overstay its welcome. AMRU 2.5. A sequel was made in 2012 featuring Best, but not Goude. She may have dodged a bullet with that one.

“Don't you wonder about the unusual things around here? The guns. The fence. The shattered windows. My accent. Anything?”

The Four Skulls of Jonathan Drake (1959)

When Professor Jonathan Drake has a vision of three skulls, he knows his brother Kenneth is in danger. But by the time he arrives at the country mansion, Kenneth is already dead. Routine heart attack, nothing suspicious. No need to run a toxicology scan. Oh, and his head is missing. The police suspect foul play but professor Drake knows it’s the family curse.

Directed by schlockmeister Edward Cahn who helmed 72 films in his career. Not a bad total, but impressively he directed 44 features between 1956 and 1961 alone. That averages to over seven films a year. That’s … exhausting. How did he rush through that many films? Simple. He rushed through them. Everything about this picture felt rushed. The script, acting, stage direction, everything. I’m sure only the most disastrous takes were redone. Cahn would direct two more in 1962, then die. And so it goes.

I thought I had seen The Four Skulls just before I started my blog but apparently that was The Screaming Skull. I watched a lot of this sort of thing in the year prior to blogging. Obvious bad guy type Henry Daniell is the obvious bad guy. Coming from the stage, he seemed to be the only actor to rehearse their lines (such as they are) prior to filming. This is the eleventh film I’ve seen him in, including three Sherlock Holmes.

Despite itself, The Four Skulls of Jonathan Drake was enjoyable to watch. The sets were fine, the story made sense, and was barely over an hour long. It held my interest without taxing my slip glazed brain. What more could one want? AMRU 3.5.

The 400 Blows (1959)

A French schoolboy with a less than ideal home life keeps getting into trouble.

The title refers not to physical blows, but mischievous tricks or pranks that a boy might play. And get into trouble for. This radically changes our expectation of the film. This semi-autobiographical film is the first and arguably most famous film directed by François Truffaut, and is a landmark of the French new wave.

To some degree The 400 Blows relies on the viewer sympathizing with the child, but he just makes one dumb decision after another. As details of his imperfect family are revealed, we find out just how imperfect it is, especially by 1950’s standards. While I found the story compelling, I am at a loss to understand what all the hype is about. It’s an interesting, well made film about a boy who gets into trouble. Freeze frame and roll credits. AMRU 3.5.

The Mummy (1959)

A noted archaeologist plunders … I mean excavates the tomb of a beautiful Egyptian princess. While his young son (middle-aged Peter Cushing) nurses a broken leg, an Egyptian in a fez warns dad not to desecrate the burial site lest he incur the wrath of Karnak. But desecraters will be desecraters. Dad is alone in the tomb when something happens and he spends the next three years in a home for the mentally disordered (been there). Finally dad explains that he was reading a Scroll of Life he found when a mummy came out of nowhere and attacked him. The game is afoot.

I have never been too charmed by these Hammer horror updates. They are a brightly colored, slightly sexy and bloody, simplified versions of the originals, and The Mummy is no different. What they add in blood and cleavage they lose in creepy atmosphere. Here the story elements are mostly stolen from various Universal Mummy films with little new added. So, why was I so immensely entertained by it? The best reason I can figure is that after watching The Love Wanga, the high quality print, bright set pieces, flowery language, and decent acting was a very welcome change. There was no question how the story would end, only the details.

Once again Christopher Lee plays the monster while Cushing plays our hero. Kharis is doomed to stand guard over his beloved Princess because he tried to use that very same Scroll of Life to bring her back after she was embalmed, and if you saw the sexy, sexy embalming scene, you’d understand. Gosh, is Cushing’s lovely bride the spitting image of Kharis' long dead Princess? Of course she is.

Lee looks great at the Mummy. Distinctive from the Universal movies and downright menacing. Sure, the ending is dumb and it has the cleanest, least ornate, and most brightly lit ancient tomb on film, but I loved every second of it. The Mummy is by no means a great film. IMDb rates it lower than the Frankenstein and Dracula efforts, but based on my reaction on the night I watched, I rate it a bit higher. AMRU 4.

Rio Bravo (1959)

While harassing the town drunk (Dean Martin), bad guy Joe shoots a man trying to intervene. Sheriff Chance (John Wayne) locks him up but bad Joe happens to have a rich and influential brother who doesn’t want baby bro to stand trial. Now our Sheriff has to stand down ruthless cutthroats with deputy drunk and grandpa Stumpy (Walter Brennan). Hottie Feathers (Angie Dickinson) shows up because why not.

What the hell is Ricky Nelson doing in this film? For the uninitiated, Ricky Nelson was a pop singer, teen heart throb, and star of The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet. Think a nineteen year old Justin Bieber if he had a smidge of acting talent. The studio pushed him onto Howard Hawks who gave him the fewest lines and fairly little screen time. Guys of the day found it a little bit easier to convince their gals to see a western.

The luster started to diminish on Wayne’s career, his last few films not doing very well. The answer was to fall back on the John Wayne character which he successfully did into the 1970’s. Gone were the days of out of character roles and non-genre pictures. Not a bad trade off, really.

I suppose the point of adding the Dickinson character was to raise the stakes for our hero. Sassy and independent as she was, Feathers was still a woman that needed protection. 24 years her senior, Wayne was uncomfortable with the love scenes. Angie looked plenty comfortable to me.

I never thought of Dean Martin as a serious actor. Comedian and singer, but never an acTOR! But to be fair, this is the first feature I’ve seen him in, maybe ever. And he acted the living crap out of it. The Dude was a complex character with nuance and a real character arc. This was by far the best film he appeared in and I don’t expect that his other performances will match up.

Rio Bravo is a film school staple and a favorite of Quentin Tarantino. It is a very interesting film and the opening shot is quite good, but in the end it is just a hero's tale. Serve justice, save the town, get the girl, and leave the character growth for the people around you. AMRU 4.

Return of the Fly (1959)

After his mother’s funeral, Philippe, son of the scientist Andre from the first film, learns what really happened to father. Spoiler alert: he accidentally turned himself into a bug then killed himself. Despite his debilitating fear of flies, he decides to complete dad’s work. Guess what happens? Vincent Price plays the disapproving uncle.

Written specifically to reuse the sets and props of the previous film, the filmmakers cut just about every corner they could. While The Fly was in color, Return Of was in black and white. The only corner they chose to keep was Price, who saw a few things in the script he liked. Unfortunately for him (and us) the filmmakers chose to cut that as well. What we end up with is essentially the same film, done worse, with slight modifications.

I don’t automatically discredit cash-grab sequels. I understand the forces at play, and sometimes poverty sparks creativity. Return of the Fly, however, brings nothing new to the table (except, maybe, Bunny-Man). Much of the first act is exposition to explain the events of the first film, as if there could be a single audience member that hadn’t see it the year prior. Same sets, same props, and for the most part same story. Even the same giant bug prosthetics. Bug-Man runs away while police shoot at him (insert your own reason here) while he holds his bug head on with his free hand! Price is all but wasted, putting in his most forgettable performance so far.

Return of the Fly isn’t hard to watch but even if you don’t try to compare it to the original, it is uninteresting. Poor script, mediocre acting, predictable story. Please skip. AMRU 2.

Anatomy of a Murder (1959)

Paul Biegler (James Stewart) is a lawyer who lost his drive when he lost his District Attorney position, so he spends his time mostly fishing and chatting with his alcoholic lawyer friend (Arthur O’Connell). He is urged to take the case of a young Army officer who murdered the man that raped his hot hot wife (Lee Remick). Urged mostly by his assistant (Eve Arden) who would like to be paid again.

Courtroom dramas can be problematic. Procedures and even the law itself is thrown out the window for the sake of drama. Quite a bit of that goes on here. Stewart’s Paulie must struggle to have the (alleged) rape admitted in the defense of his (allegedly) temporarily insane client. Things said in open court that should have been said in sidebar, and don’t get me started with the surprise witnesses.

All that aside, we wonder if the defendant was insane, or if the hot hot wife was actually raped, and what plot twist will come next. What the verdict will be, and what it should be, is always in question.

Older readers may recognize Eve Arden from Our Miss Brooks. I recognize her as Principal McGee from Grease (1978), and to a lesser extent, Grease 2 (1982). Murray Hamilton, the mayor of Amity (and Mr. to the adultering Mrs. Robinson), played the prosecuting district attorney. A youngish George C. Scott had a sizable role.

But the real story is the hot young Remick. She played the questionable victim in a very Lolita-esque manner. She flirts with Stewart’s Paulie and hangs out with strange men while the husband waits in lockup. Stewart again is excellent, having fully graduated from Rom-Com roles. Remick didn’t do many feature films, then died young of cancer.

Anatomy of a Murder, despite its court procedure shenanigans, is quite entertaining. Otto Preminger (you know, Mr. Freeze) was a master filmmaker, this being one of his best. Not one to shy from controversial issues (his next project was Exodus, openly written by blacklisted screenwriter Dalton Trumbo), Anatomy is unflinching with its discussion of the (alleged) rape. To the point that Stewart’s father urged people not to see it. No big whoops by today’s standard, but you can see how Hollywood was slowly evolving from the provincial palace it was once. A very entertaining watch. AMRU 3.5.

“Now, Mr. Dancer, get off the panties. You've done enough damage.”

North by Northwest (1959)

Aging playboy (Cary Grant) marketing executive is kidnapped when he is mistaken for a spy. When he refuses to cooperate, they waterboard him with scotch and try to orchestrate a car accident. He gets away and is arrested for drunk driving, but nobody believes his story (not even his mom, the bitch!) On the run from police and criminals alike, he meets up with a young hottie (Eva Marie Saint) who helps him even though logic would demand otherwise. With her help he heads in some ordinal direction that escapes me at the moment to look for his doppelganger spy.

This Hitchcock thriller was very thrilling in a very Hitchcockian sort of way. Cary Grant was at his Cary Grantiest. Old friends Leo G. Carroll (at no point over a barrel) and James Mason had important rolls. Is Mason an old friend? Perhaps not. This is the first thing I have seen him in. Who knew?

North by Northwest is a great piece of entertainment that was expertly crafted. The photography was wonderful. Thrilling to the end. Think it will stand up well to a second viewing. If not for the story, then for the cinematography. AMRU 4.

Eve Kendall: Patience is a virtue.
Roger Thornhill: So is breathing.

The Mouse that Roared (1959)

The tiny and impoverished nation of Fenwick declares war on America in order to lose and reap the benefit of war reparations. When they happen upon the only working prototype of the Q-Bomb (way more powerful than that wimpy H-Bomb), they accidentally win.

The real story here is Peter Sellers playing three rolls. The surprising thing is that he played them rather well. The ditsy Grand Duchess, the conniving prime minister, and the simple and good-hearted Tully Bascombe. Each character very different and well developed. This is his first foray into multiple screen personae (he was emulating Alec Guinness), and would make it something of a trademark. His real talent, in my opinion, was doing nuanced yet over the top characters in virtually every role. Sometimes very understated, sometimes Clouseau. He was a troubled comic genius whos art was built for longevity, if not his lifestyle.

Anything else of interest? Cutie Jean Seberg would take her own life twenty years later. Or was murdered by Nazi ninja alien bigfoots. The jury is still out on that one. She lived a life of drug abuse and infidelity. That's all I got this time. Amusing and well made, but no real LOL moments. Worth the time spent watching. AMRU 3. They made a sequel, but without Sellers, is it really worth watching?

"I warn you, madam - I know the entire Geneva Convention by heart!"
"Oh, how nice! You must recite it for me some evening; I play the harpsichord."

The Tingler (1959)

A pathologist (Vincent Price) is doing research on fear. He notices that the spines of executed criminals are split open leading him to believe that terror, not the electric chair, is what kills them. When the deaf mute wife of a theater owner dies unexpectedly, he x-rays the body and discovers the culprit: The Tingler! He cages the creature for further research and determines that a) everyone has one of these in their bodies and b) you can keep them from killing you by screaming.

The Castle-gimmick was that some of the theater seats were wired to give the occupant a shock at appropriate times during the film. Presumably the appropriate time was when the tingler escaped into the theater (the one in the movie), they cut the house lights, and Price tells everyone to scream or else the tingler will get them. That might have worked.

Here's something cool. The movie is in black and white except for one of the scare scenes, where the blood is red. The effect worked but it kinda makes you wonder why they didn't film the whole thing in color. Also, the actors playing the young couple actually got married (kinda cool) then divorced (not so cool). The actors playing the older couple (the theater owners) both died eight years later in May of 1967 (totally uncool). The creature itself was modelled after a Velvet Worm. Wikipedia doesn't say if this species moves through the use of visible wires. Another interesting part is when the Price character wanted to feel fear (you see, he's super macho-brave and is never afraid), so he takes a hit of acid. The first time an acid trip was featured in a movie.

Typical William Castle. In a TCM Biography his daughter said of the film, the biggest obstacle for the actors was to not burst out laughing at the silly prop and absurd dialog. Typical Vincent Price rising above the source material. There was a background story about Price's philandering wife, or her sister dating his assistant (see above comment regarding a "young couple"), but it doesn't play much into the film except maybe to give Price an opportunity for biting dialog. A fair effort all-in-all. A well made, cheesy, B horror movie. AMRU 3.5.

"The tingler exists in every human being, we now know. Look at that tingler, Dave. It's an ugly and dangerous thing-ugly because it's the creation of man's fear; dangerous because... because a frightened man is dangerous."

The Immoral Mr. Teas (1959)

Man on bicycle looks at breasts. Roll credits.

Russ Meyer has long fascinated me. Undoubtedly the biggest name in the 60's "nudie cutie" genre, his movies are legendary and annoyingly hard to come by. Netflix? Never heard of him. Amazon Prime has nothing for free. And forget about your local library. YouTube to the rescue, believe it or not. That can't be legal.

Anyhow Mr. Teas (actual name!) sells dentist stuff door to door and along the way is greeted by unusually well endowed women showing unusual amounts of cleavage. The dental hygienist, his office secretary, the counter woman at the diner, some chick at the beach. And he concludes there must be something wrong with him because, and here's the sick part, he LIKES it! He even starts fantasizing about the women! Clearly he needs serious therapy.

A few odd things about this movie. First, there is no actual dialog. The movie is done in voice over narration (frequently a bit of trivia about a non-fleshy element on screen) with an insipid soundtrack. Secondly, with one exception, nobody appears to notice or care that Mr. Teas is snooping on the ladies. Also, there is no inference of sex. Well, except once and that turns into a comedic moment. There are just breasts for our man to look at. And the on-screen talent is quite impressive.

Surprisingly, this, Meyer's first, is a well photographed movie. The ladies are well lit, the editing crisp, good pacing, and the overall craft well done. Citizen Kane this is not, but take it for what it is: Cheesecake pornography. Remove the fleshy elements and you don't just have less of a film, you basically don't have a film. That said, AMRU 3.

Invisible Invaders (1959)

Aliens from the moon decide to invade Earth. Humanity never saw them because they, their cities, and machines, are invisible. They demand that all humans immediately surrender. They issue this ultimatum to peacenik scientist Adam Penner (Philip Tonge) by way of dead scientist college Karol Noymann (John Carradine). Did I forget to mention they can raise the dead? Oh, yea. They can do that.

Anyhow, the completely unreasonable people of Earth don't buy Penner's story, so our invisible moon-men give us one final warning at a hockey game. Failing that, they give another final warning at a football game. Then they invade.

By invade, I mean they raise lots of corpses from the grave to sabotage power plants and whatnot. To save all Earth, the military whisks Dr. Penner, his hot daughter (Jean Byron), and her douchie man-friend (Robert Hutton) to an impenetrable underground laboratory. And by the military, I mean one guy. Major Bruce Jay (John Agar).

What I love about 50's sci-fi is the "What If" factor. For instance, what if you wanted to make an alien invasion movie, but didn't have the budget for space ships or alien costumes? I know, make them invisible! So, this movie actually follows the tried and true formula of alien graverobbers invented by the trailblazing film Plan 9 from Outer Space. Gosh, what a lineage!

Also similar to Plan 9 is the use of an overbearing narrator. Obviously this story is way to complex for us to understand by watching the action and listening to the dialog. We need the major plot points dictated at us. While there are a great many similarities between the movies, Invisible Invaders is a vastly less imcompetent effort. The dialog was not horrible, the acting above amature theatre level, and the sets, while sparse, didn't shout CHEAP.

Also, to be somewhat fair, you do get a glimpse of a space ship and an alien, although that does beg the question Why? But don't stop there. If the alien war machines are invisible, why raise the dead in the first place? Why not just shoot everything from the air? Then they could have saved all that money spent on cheap, crappy zombie makeup.

Not painful to watch, vaguely interesting, but unoriginal and culturally insignificant. AMRU 2.

What was Carradine thinking even appearing in this low budget stinker? He was in, by his own admission, a lot of crap. There are no interesting quotes from the film so I leave you with one of John's. A bit of advice he should have given his son:

"Never do anything you wouldn't want to be caught dead doing."

The Angry Red Planet (1959)

Earth loses contact with a rocket to Mars and is presumed lost. When it reappears, they find two survivors: the hysterical requisite hottie (Naura Hayden) and Colonel O'Bannion (Gerald Mohr) who is infected by a strange, bad makeup and an even worse Bogart impersonation. They grill the hottie to find out how to cure him.

Flashback time. Our intrepid crew lands on the red planet and sees that everything is eerily still. As if the plants were being controlled. Controlled to be ... still. Whatever, they venture out and are attacked by a carnivorous plant, then by a giant mouse-spider-bat-crab monster, finally by an ameboa. A big one. With a rotating eye. They try to return to Earth but they are held in place, as if there were a controlling force. Forcing them to ... well, whatever.

Finally they are allowed to return to Earth and the Hottie remembers enough so save the suave Colonel while they play the Martian's "don't ever come here" warning message. And they all lived happily ever after. Except the people who died.

High on the list of cheesy special effects is CineMagic! Here, black and white video is saturated with red to make it look ... well, bad. Then they have the actors interact with hand drawn props that look only slightly worse than the live action. Marvelous! There's nothing like being kicked in the groin to make you forget your splitting headache.

Oh, exagerating, am I? Judge for yourself:

Bad acting, cheeseball script, horrible special effects, and the stereotype of 50's B cinema. The plot holes were big enough to drive a giant mouse-spider-bat-crab monster through. While on the surface wearing space suits, one character gives his gun (Cleo) a kiss, demonstrating that the helmets don't have glass. And it only starts there.Despite the unbelievably bad effects and cotton candy plot, I kinda liked it. No, it won't make the year's best of list, but even though I fell asleep during it (had to re-watch the last 25 minutes on Amazon Prime after Neflix axed it), I have to say I'm glad I watched it. AMRU 3.

Some Like it Hot (1959)

Joe and Jerry (Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon) are down on their luck musicians. The only job offered is for an all girls band in Florida. When they become witness to the Valentine's Day massacre, they decide to borrow some dresses and take that gig.

So, on the train they go with a bunch of women trying hard not to stand out. There they meet troubled hottie Sugar Kane, played by troubled hottie Marilyn Monroe. George Raft played a gangster, like in that other movie that featured the Valentine's Day massacre.

Anyhow, they get in and out of trouble, meet strange and interesting people, and find true love, of a sort. Curtis and Lemmon were great, the dialog was crisp, and the hottie was hot. Way to camouflage a pregnancy, Marilyn. She'd be dead in three years.

Monroe, I understand, was an utter train wreck on the set. Always late, couldn't remember her lines, difficult to the end. She wasn't invited to the wrap party. Billy Wilder hated her, though used her notoriety for his own gain. He considered Mitzi Gaynor for the role.

Banned in Kansas and condemned by the Catholic Church, Some Like it Hot was a well written, well made, and wonderfully crafted movie. AMRU 4. By the way, the title refers to how they like their Jazz. Sugar liked it hot.

"Well, nobody's perfect."

Horrors of the Black Museum (1959)

Pretty woman receives a pair of binoculars as a gift from an anonymous admirer. When she puts them to her eyes, metal spikes spring out and pierce her brain. We all scream in horror as we watch ... her friend scream in horror.

Police are stumped by the murders. The foppish Bancroft (Michael Gough) and his curly haired boyfriend enjoy lording over the police with their haughty, condescending attitudes. It seems Bancroft is a murder writer and the killings make great fodder for his work. He has his own subterranean dungeon replete with implements of torture. I wonder ...

The culprit (whoever that is) starts having to commit murders not for his writing career (if that's what he, or she, did for a living) but to cover his (or her) tracks. When his (or her) girlfriend gets mouthy he (or she) is left with no alternative but to ... ok, ok, Alfred the Butler is the murderer. There, I said it. Not that it was much of a mystery.

Despite having the same Victorian feel as The Fly, Horrors is set in the modern day. Unlike The Fly, it has no staying power. The first of the murders is the most clever and there are few mysteries for the viewer to unravel. I suppose I'm glad I watched it. The production quality wasn't bad but was a little boring in parts. I'll be a little generous. AMRU 3.

"No woman can hold her tongue. They're a vicious, unreliable breed!"

The Hound of the Baskervilles (1959)

My oldest is a fan of Sherlock Holmes. So was I back in the day. I thought he might enjoy watching Grand Moff Tarkin and Count Dooku. He never got the chance. No television if you can't do your homework. The day before it was due, I watched it alone.

To be honest, I was a little iffy on this. I never read the story and really think Basil Rathbone when I think Holmes, and the 1939 treatment is really the definitive one. That said, Peter Cushing made for a better than fair Holmes.

Christopher Lee is Sir Henry, the heir to the Baskerville estate. He became the air when dear Sir Charles passes away, possibly done in by an evil hound. Seems this hound has made a habit of chowing down on the Baskerville heirs, starting many years ago with Sir Hugo, in punishment for slicing up this servant girl, who totally deserved it, what with her not wanting to be his whore and running away and all. Anyhow, family friend and physician Dr. Mortimer hires Sherlock to investigate.

Well, there is an attempt on Henry's life, an escaped convict, an abandoned mine, a hot crazy chick, and lots of good old fashioned Holmesian dialog. I understand there were some significant changes from the book, but again, I never read it. Maybe I will. Certainly I'll watch more Sherlock Holmes. Unfortunately, with the exception of some TV work, Cushing never did Holmes again.

Not overly thrilling but engrossing never-the-less. I'm sorry my boy had to miss it. Maybe I'll get it again. AMRU 3.5.

House on Haunted Hill (1959)

Frederick Loren (Vincent Price), an eccentric millionaire, rents a spooky mansion to throw a party for his wife and five strangers. If they stay the night, they each will get $10,000, which was serious coin back in the day. The house was the scene of a brutal double murder.

The film opens with a black screen and a blood curdling scream followed by ghostly noises. We are left to our imagination. Next we see the disembodied head of Watson Pritchard (Eliza Cook, Jr.) who explains a little bit of the background. His brother was murdered in the house and since then he has owned it.

Loren's head appears next, explaining a little about the party. It was his wife's idea, but he chose the guests. With the simple turning of the phrase "She's so amusing", we have great insight into their relationship. Vincent Price was simply amazing. The guests arrive in funeral cars.

Carol Ohmart plays Annabelle Loren, Price's hot trophy wife. She's still alive.(Edit: Nope! Died in 2002!) Richard Long is hunky test pilot Lance Schroeder. Maybe you remember him from Big Valley. I did. He died of multiple heart attacks at age 47. Alan Marshal is Dr. David Trent, a psychiatrist. Perhaps you remember him from guest appearances in 77 Sunset Strip and Surfside 6. I sure don't. He died of a heart attack at age 52. Julie Mitchum plays Ruth Bridges, a newspaper columnist. Perhaps you remember her as the sister of Robert Mitchum. That's probably the most interesting thing about her. This was her last film. She lived to the ripe old age of 88, outliving her baby brother by five and a half years. Carolyn Craig is Nora Manning, a young office worker. Isn't she pretty? Perhaps you remember ... no, you don't. Trust me. She died at 36 from gunshot wounds.

Director William Castle (dead of a heart attack at age 63) loved gimmicks. When shown in theaters, a skeleton would fly across the cinema at a critical point. That aside, the film had enough gimmicks on screen. Scary hands from behind the door, pianos playing without anyone at the keys, scary people jumping out at you. Matinee (1993) was based on him.

So, what is going on? Is Loren trying to kill the Mrs, or the other way around? Are there really ghosts like Watson Pritchard keeps saying, or are the spirits haunting him the bottled kind? Is Lance Schroeder trying to find out what's going on, or is he trying to get into Nora's pants? And maybe the Mrs. Lorens too? While the movie works the second time around, the story in large part doesn't, but that's ok. The atmosphere is great and the dialog is sharp. It's a fun movie.

Here's what doesn't work. The exterior of the house is about as un-haunted house looking as possible. A Denny's looks scarier. The Frank Lloyd Wright abomination was 35 years old at the time. Even worse, there's a scene at the beginning where you see downtown Los Angeles in the background. Thank god the majority of the film is interiors.

Nora Manning, who works for Mr. Loren, was invited because she needed the money. Or so he says, but maybe was was intended to get the Mrs. jealous. Her acting was horrible. She plays the young woman who is frightened of everything. Not a tall order. To watch her struggle and do it standing next to Price was plain weird.

A little silly, yes, but watchable, interesting, and fun. I could say it's AMRU 5 because I did buy it, but that's only because it cost a buck. How did this film end up in the public domain? I love Haunted Hill, flaws and all. One of the best B horror films. AMRU 4.