We’re No Angels (1955)

Three escapes from Devil’s Island prison (Humphrey Bogart, Peter Ustinov, and Aldo Ray) hide out on the island waiting for a chance to sneak aboard a steamship to freedom. In the meantime they meet the Ducotel family who run a general store, whom they plan to rob blind. The family trusts the men, although it’s unclear why, and the men begin to like the family. Cousin Andre (Basil Rathbone) proves harder to like.

Similar to 3 Godfathers, we again have three criminals learn the true meaning of Christmas and become good people. Instead of wise men, our three are analogs of the three archangels, even watching the family from up on high. But as Bogart’s Joseph says, “we’re no angels”. And they’re not.

Joan Bennett came out of scandal-induced retirement to play the Ducotel matriarch. Leo G. Carroll is over a barrel as shop owner Felix Ducotel. Pretty Gloria Talbott (The Cyclops) is their fainting-prone daughter. Peter Ustinov is a name I am quite familiar with but may have heard him more than seen. At 55 he played the 'Old Man' in Logan’s Run. His distinct line delivery was quite interesting.

I did not pick up on the screwball tone of We’re No Angels at first. When Mom Ducotel finds her daughter unconscious in the arms of a convict, I would expect her to have some follow-up questions, but we saw what happened and she believes their explanation without question. They are the main characters, after all. Once I accepted these things, it was quite enjoyable. AMRU 3.5.

“We came here to rob them and that's what we're gonna do - beat their heads in, gouge their eyes out, cut their throats. Soon as we wash the dishes."

High Sierra (1941)

After being released from prison, Roy Earle (Humphrey Bogart) does one last job to set himself up for life. From his hideaway High in the Sierra Nevada mountains, he plans the robbery of a California resort. Along the way he helps a man and falls in love with his underaged granddaughter, and has to deal with incompetent co-conspirators, a floozy tag-along (Ida Lupino), and a cursed dog.

Bogart’s Roy Earle was loosely based on John Dillinger. It was Bogart’s performance in Petrified Forest that made studio heads consider him for a lead role, but that too was hard fought. Paul Muni and George Raft had to first turn down the role. Bogie’s ability to make this role his own convinced them to cast him in the Maltese Falcon. The rest is cinema history.

Joan Leslie played the good girl that Roy wants to love. Throughout there is a theme of keeping with your own kind, and Velma’s wholesome goodness contrasted too much with Roy’s hardened criminal nature. Besides, Joan turned sixteen the day after the film was released. Ida Lupino’s Marie with her hard knock life was more his type.

Not in real life, however. Ida didn’t like working with Bogie and would refuse in the future. Too bad because she spent the bulk of her career in lesser film-noirs and might have seen a bigger hit had they got along. But at this point the 22 year old Lupino was the bigger star and got top billing. After climbing the studio ropes in B movies (frequently as an underaged love interest - I sense a trend) she would get better roles and better movies through the later 1930’s and 1940’s, some of which she directed. In the 50’s she would retire from movies and act and direct in television before returning to cinema in the 1970’s.

High Sierra plays more like a melodrama than a crime film. Roy is the great guy/hardened criminal who goes out of his way to help some people, and plug others. He wants to be good but it’s just not in the cards for him. The old man he befriends was Clarence the Angel, Henry Travers. He shows up whenever an affable old man is needed. Unrecognizable in Colonel Sanders cosplay is Henry Hull, the Werewolf of London himself. I thought he was a Brit but being from the Bluegrass state I suppose his country gentleman character is closer to reality. On the topic of Colonels, or more precisely Cornels, the Wilde variety appears here in his first credited role. Too far to go for that one? I may edit it out later.

A film on the cusp between traditional Gangster flick and film-noir, it clearly sits in the former category. Which may explain why Raft and Muni were uninterested. They had been making this kind of film for a decade. While the end result is somewhat unremarkable, it’s not uninteresting. Bogart makes for a compelling character, hero and villain alike. AMRU 3.5.

"Remember what Johnny Dillinger said about guys like you and him. Said you were rushin' toward death. Yes, just rushin' toward death."

Black Legion (1937)

Frank (Humphrey Bogart) loses out on a promotion to a polish immigrant just because, and get this, he is smart and hard working. Go figure! Frank is fed up and learns about this secret club called the Black Legion where hard working Americans fight back against this sort of thing! Racism is bad, hmmm kay!

The Black Legion (the club, not the movie) is a thinly disguised version of the Ku Klux Klan. The actual klan, in fact, sued the studio. Not for defamation of character, but for use of their symbols. Gotta have priorities. The Legion’s crimes are quite extreme. They kidnap and flog people, or burn down their house and run them out of town. If they burned crosses, maybe the Klan’s suit would have gone someplace.

Dick Foran played Frank's good friend who tries to lead him straight. He had a long career in many westerns, but I remember him from Bogart's Petrified Forest and a couple mummy films. Hottie Ann Sheridan has an early, small role. She would stand out in The Man Who Came to Dinner.

The Black Legion (the movie, not the club) is a little heavy handed with the message. Good people are all good, bad people are all bad, and Bogart’s Frank is the good guy led astray. I am curious how effective this kind of message worked during the era. In reality things are more complicated, and a message rejected outright by the audience that needs it most is of little value. But this is movies, not reality. And as a movie, it was meh. Bogart always raises the level of everything he is in. AMRU 2.5.

Black lives matter, our society does not value them equally, and that is wrong.

All Through the Night (1942)

Crooked sports gambler ‘Gloves’ Donahue (Humphrey Bogart) learns that the baker of his favorite cheesecake has been bumped off, so he decides to investigate. Mostly because a hot chick is somehow involved. He uncovers a bigger conspiracy. Could it involve Nazis? Yes. Yes it could.

Could this be a highly rated (7.1 on IMDb) Bogart film-noir that I had never even heard of? That sounds too good to be true. Sadly, it is. Released between The Maltese Falcon and Casablanca, All Through the Night is principally a comedy. This explains how Phil Silvers and Jackie Gleason got invited to the party. Still, the story plays out as a crime mystery/drama. Everyone’s favorite uncle William Demarest plays sidekick Sunshine whose major contributions are cracking wise and knocking stuff over.

Additionally, Casablanca alumnae Conrad Veidt and Peter Lorre have principal roles. Freaks star Wallace Ford has a smaller role. Our femme fatal stand-in is played by Kaaren Verne (Ingeborg Greta Katerina Marie-Rose Klinckerfuss to her friends). Three years after the film’s release, she and Lorre divorced their respective partners and hooked up for five years of marital bliss.

Bogart at this time was a star but not yet a legend. He plays a tough, but lacks the cynicism of his better roles. Remember, he is motivated by hot chicks and cheesecake. There isn’t much mystery here. Bad guys coerce good people to do their bidding. Why? We learn soon it’s because Nazis and World War II. So many B pictures in the early part of the war tread this ground. All Through the Night is no different, and little better. It keeps your interest well enough, and Bogart raises the level of any production, but it is what it is. An unfunny comedy, a film-noir with little atmosphere, a mystery with little mystery, a crime film that doesn’t take itself serious. Just a movie that holds your attention. And Humphrey Bogart. AMRU 3.

The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (1948)

Two down and out Americans (Humphrey Bogart and Tim Holt) have a chance meeting with an old prospector (Walter Huston) who is up for one last try to strike it rich. When Bogart’s Dobbs comes into a bit of cash, the men pool resources, buy supplies, and head to the mountains.

This film is the origin of the famous Blazing Saddles line regarding badges. You know the one. Beyond that, a campfire beans scene and Huston’s prospector character seem familiar. I don’t know if Brooks intentionally referenced them, but I wouldn’t be surprised.

Director John Huston (Walter’s boy) tricked the studio to get the film made. Westerns were cheap, quick, easy, and profitable. That’s what studios want so that’s what Huston told them he was making. Who read scripts? Instead, they got something else, and something better. Jack Warner had a fit when he saw the rushes. A few issues he had was that big star Bogart’s character wasn’t quite as heroic as he wanted, and was frequently upstaged by Walter’s prospector. Oh, and the ending. Walter himself wasn’t too keen on taking the part, thinking at 65 he was still a leading man type. Two years and three films later, he’d be gone. And so it goes.

The Treasure of the Sierra Madre is a special film. It says a lot about how desperation, and the prospect of fortune changes a man. That is, if he’s the kind of man to allow it to. And Walter’s performance was a tour de force. AMRU 4.5.

“Do you believe that stuff the old man was saying the other night at the Oso Negro about gold changin' a man's soul so's he ain't the same sort of man as he was before findin' it?”

The Return of Doctor X (1939)

A reporter scores an interview with beautiful star of the stage Angela, but when he arrives he finds her dead. Stabbed in the heart and everything. Rather than call the police, he runs a sensationalist news story. When she shows up at the newspaper very much alive and threatening to sue, our hero finds himself out of a job. He starts pestering his hunky doctor friend to find out if someone could survive such a wound. Lucky for our heroes, hunky doctor is asked to identify the body of a man who died in exactly the same way. The trail leads to artificial blood and the hunky Doctor’s boss’ creepy assistant (Humphrey Bogart).

Wait, what? Yes, you heard that right. Humphrey Bogart plays the creepy Doctor X. The studio naturally wanted Boris Karloff for the role but couldn’t get him. So instead they enlisted WB bit actor Bogart, who was none too pleased. Still, he did a better than fair job in his only horror role. Ostensibly a sequel to the 1932 film it shares no similarity save for a character called Doctor X. Different backstory, different first name, and, of course, different actor.

Not much horror in this one unless you count the way our hunky doctor practically orders a pretty nurse to go on a date with him, then leaves her in the car while he runs around trying to solve his little mystery. I guess you do what you must to keep your job.

The Return of Doctor X has a fair amount of atmosphere with a little sci-fi thrown in, and Bogie was rather creepy in the role, even if he felt his unfamous self too good to do genre movies. Was being a gangster thug so much better? Nice and short, you may find it worth your time. I did. AMRU 3.

The Petrified Forest (1936)

Prettish Gabrielle (Bette Davis) works her father’s remote desert diner with old gramps and a simple hired hand. Jock hired hand professes his love for prettish Gabby but she finds herself enamored with the penniless wanderer-artist Alan (Leslie Howard). Things become complicated when the ruthless gangster Duke Mantee (Humphrey Bogart) arrives and holds the group hostage while drama unfolds.

This is the film that gave Bogart his big break. The weight of the world visibly rests on the shoulders of Bogart’s Duke. He seethed danger and desperation in what otherwise could have been a very stock character. Howard insisted on the casting of Bogart over Edward G. Robinson allowing the world to see what Bogart was capable of. Bogart named his second child with Lauren Bacall after Leslie. Luckily, she was a girl.

The Petrified Forest is a case study character. Bette is the star but our three foils (you can have three!) are Alan, empty-headed jock, and Duke. Each, through their words and actions show what kind of person they are, what motivates them (respect, a woman), and what they are willing to sacrifice. Slowly their character is revealed: Talkers, doers, pretenders, and desperadoes. Duke speaks fairly little and Alan quite a bit. And the Petrified Forest itself becomes a symbol for all three men. What they are afraid of, what they will become.

I had skipped over this film because the description doesn’t do it justice. I could not have been more wrong. It’s a very wordy film (Alan won’t shut up for a second) but I found every minute of it charming. Great acting, excellent dialog, and directorial restraint not seen much today. AMRU 4.5.

"Let there be killing. All this evening I've had a feeling of destiny closing in."

In a Lonely Place (1950)

Troubled but talented screenwriter Dixon Steele (Humphrey Bogart) is assigned to adapt a terrible novel for the screen. Hot coat check girl Mildred (Martha Stewart - No, not THAT Martha Stewart!) loves the book, so he invites her back to his place for her to describe the story to him. Or whatever else. He gets nowhere with the girl or the script so he sends her packing via taxi. When she turns up dead, Dix is the prime suspect. The only witness for his whereabouts is a hot neighbor (Gloria Grahame) who noticed him from her window. Love blooms.

So, rather than a who-done-it, we’ve got a did-he-do-it. We’re used to the old and decrepit Bogart playing the romantic lead, and he is no stranger to morally ambiguous characters, so this is right up his alley. But maybe a bit more morally ambiguous than we are used to. At the onset the audience and his alibi-then-lover are certain of his innocence but soon we both become unsure as his darker nature reveals itself. His relationship with too-young-for-him Graham rings true. Besides, she was about a year older than his real life wife.

Speaking of Graham, perhaps you recall me retelling of a certain friction between her and her second husband, director Nicholas Ray. Graham and Ray’s marriage was on the rocks while he was directing her here. You remember, dabbling with the step-son. That's a recipe for disaster.

Despite being the sole suspect for the murder, and Dixon’s violent tendencies which frequently get him into trouble, his friends all repeated say how much they love Dix. They love Dix so much! They'd never say no to Dix. Yea, sometimes I’m twelve.

In a Lonely Place is sometimes dark, sometimes amusing, and has great atmosphere. Don’t expect Bogart to be his regular hero character. He is far more real here. An excellent film-noir. AMRU 4.

“There's no sacrifice too great for a chance at immortality.”

The Barefoot Contessa (1954)

Maria (Ava Gardner), a beautiful Spanish club performer, is recruited by Hollywood looking for a fresh face. Despite Hollywood, Maria isn’t all keen to go. She likes to keep her feet in the dirt, whatever that means.

The movie begins at Maria’s funeral. The story is about her rise to fame, her struggle with what is truly important to her, the rich and powerful men that court her, and her ultimate fate. It is told from the perspective of the lives she touched, mostly Director Harry Dawes (Humphrey Bogart).

What I was expecting to be a pretty standard rom-com turned out to be something else. There are comedic elements but it is by no means a comedy. And romance is in short supply. That’s right faithful reader. Bogart does not get the girl. Leave it to Mankiewicz to do a regular Hollywood production that doesn’t exactly follow genre conventions. Typically wordy, intelligent, and high quality. Despite much of the film taking place directly in Hollywood, it has a European feel in a way I can’t exactly explain. I also get the feeling that it was a longer film (128 minutes as it is) and cut down. There are characters introduced who seem to have more story in them.

The Barefoot Contessa is an interesting, if not riveting, character study. It’s witty, visually appealing, does not lull, and keeps you invested to the conclusion. The tone was a little unexpected and maybe not Mankiewicz’s best, but it was most certainly interesting. AMRU 3.5.

“I *have* never done a day's work in my life - honest OR dishonest, but neither have you... To make 100 dollars into 110 dollars, this is work. To make 100 million into 110 million, this is inevitable.”

Sabrina (1954)

Young Sabrina (Audrey Hepburn) is the daughter of the Chauffeur. She has a life long crush on the playboy son of her father's employer (William Holden), but he hardly notices her. She is sent off to Paris to learn to cook and returns with a new outlook, and the attention of the Larrabee boys.

Responsible older brother Linus (Humphrey Bogart) arranges for brother David to marry the daughter of a sugar plantation owner as part of a larger plastics deal, when David finally notices Sabrina. Linus' solution is to get David out of the way, make her fall in love with him, then ship her off to Paris again with a half-hearted apology. Nice guy this Linus.

For most of this film I was loving it. Hepburn was absolutely charming and the dialog was great. But I really struggled with Bogart as the rich, responsible, leading man-type. Also, in his mid fifties, he was creepy grandpa next to Hepburn's porcelain skin. Cary Grant was originally cast, but he turned it down. Grant was only a couple years younger than Bogart, but looked much younger and was way more appropriate for the role.

Early critics said Holden should have played the older brother and someone younger play David, and I agree. He seemed old as playboy David, and Bogart was older than the man playing Sabrina's father!

Bogart also didn't think much of Hepburn or Holden, or even Billy Wilder. He wanted wife Lauren Bacall for the lead, but I can't imagine anyone matching Hepburn's charm. In three years he would be gone.

Sabrina is rather charming and well written, but what started well ended up being a fairly generic rom-com by the third act. Maybe I'm holding the fast start or questionable casting choices against it, but there's no helping that. At worst, it's still a fine film. AMRU 3.5.

"A woman happily in love, she burns the soufflé. A woman unhappily in love, she forgets to turn on the oven."

Three on a Match (1932)

Three women who went to school together serendipitously meet up again. Mary (Joan Blondell) was the bad girl who spent time in reform school, Ruth (Bette Davis) went to secretary school, and Vivian (Ann Dvorak) who went to finishing school and married rich. Vivian has a bit of a crisis and runs off with a dashing young neer-do-well. This troubles here newly refound school chums greatly.

Viv's new beau (we'll call him Michael) has run up some gambling debts, so he tries to blackmail her ex by threatening to tell the press that his new wife was a bad girl who spent time in reform school. This doesn't work so he decides to kidnap their son. When the gamblers find out what Michael has done, they take over and raise the stakes.

Pronoun trouble, I know. It all makes sense on screen. Anyhow Bogart was one of the heavies. The two biggest names had fairly small parts. Bogie had five more years before anyone took him seriously. About the same for Davis.

Joan Blondell was a total hottie back in the day. I had seen her in a couple other movies during her old and fat days. Dvorak was a rising star back in the day but tried to have her contract terminated when she found out that she was being paid the same as the actor playing her 5 year old son. Davis was almost an afterthought here, not really playing a part in the story.


Well, this pre-code gem was supposed to be something but I didn't find it terribly interesting. Pre-code because it dealt with adultery, drug addiction, and briefly in a montage sequence it showed two women dancing. Horrors! Something of a snooze-fest, actually. AMRU 3. Speaking of horror ...

The African Queen (1951)

The straight laced Reverend Sayer (Robert Morley) and his sister Rose (Katharine Hepburn) run a missionary deep in Africa during the onset of the first world war. Their only contact with the world outside is through Charlie (Humphrey Bogart), the captain of the African Queen, one of the few steam ships capable of navigating the treacherous rivers of central Africa. Because of his importance for delivering supplies and news, they tolerate his uncouth ways.

Soon, the German army arrives to offer their assistance. That is, they burn the native's huts and conscript them into the German army. This displeases the Missionaries Sayer very much. Well, after tubby drops dead, good 'oll Charlie shows up again. After deciding that time on a river boat with the gin swilling Charlie is slightly better than being murdered by proto-Nazis, she goes with him. Then, when Rose learns that the German position in Africa is fortified by the presence of a gun boat that patrols a large lake, she decides to settle the score.

Go figure, it's a color film! I remember seeing it in my youth (leeches, bleck!) and apparently it was on a black and white TV. Anyhow, the thing that struck me most was the appearance of the two A-list actors. Bogart appeared scrawny and Hepburn old. Both actors were a bit long in the tooth come 1951, and Bogart was never an imposing physical specimen, but it was interesting they chose to be depicted as they actually were. Maybe that honesty that led the Academy to give Humph the only Oscar he would ever receive. Or maybe they felt he needed to be rewarded for his body of work. Either way, he'd be gone in six years. Smoking is bad, hmmm Ok?

Despite it's reputation, and the reputation of it's actors and director, I found The African Queen to be a bit dull. Still worth seeing, but a little bit of a disappointment. AMRU 3.

"Well I ain't sorry for you no more, ya crazy, psalm-singing, skinny old maid!"

Key Largo (1948)

Unlike most famous movies I hadn't seen, I was quite surprised to learn that I knew nothing of the plot. I knew the gay 1980's song, and that's about it. A story on NPR mentioned the film and a song sung by Claire Trevor and they said something about the setting. It was the last of four movies in the set loaned to me by a coworker and I finally finished the set.

Bogie is a drifter, a tough man who sticks his neck out for no one. Bacall is the young hottie. Lionel Barrymore is her father. Or father-in-law. Edward G. Robinson is the gangster trying to get back into the country. Who's going to stop him? Who? Nobody, that's who!

Gangsters, drifters, cripples, and hotties are all shut into a hotel when a hurricane passes. Is Bogart tough enough to stand up to the cruel Edward G? Will hottie Bacall fall for him? Are we seriously asking these questions?

What was interesting about the movie was Claire Trevor as Robinson's ex-hoochie mamma. She's a total lush at this point and a bit of an embarrassment. Her song was memorable, not for the singing itself, but for how it plays into the plot. Typical Bogart stuff, typical Bacall stuff. Enjoyable. AMRU 3.5.

Dark Passage (1947)

Bogie and Bacall are back in the third of their four movies together. Today, Bogie is an escaped convict and Bacall is the rich young hottie that decides to help him out. She just knows he was framed.

For much of the beginning, we don't see Bogart's face. Most of it was filmed in POV mode and in other scenes he is in the shadows, which is all the better what with him on the lam and all. Agnes Moorehead plays Bacall's shrill friend.

Now that Bogie is on the outside, he wants to know who really killed his no good wife. A friendly cabbie introduces him to a plastic surgeon allowing Bogie to obscure his face with bandages for a while longer.

Every time the story progresses, something happens to put Bogie back into jeopardy, to the point I was surprised at the ending. Instead of a new obstacle or twist, the credits roll. Not a terribly realistic movie (so, Bogie looks that way AFTER surgery?) but that's easy enough to ignore. It was loaded with atmosphere and drama.

I liked it. Not a great movie, but good. And fun. I would consider seeing it again. AMRU 3.5.

To Have and Have Not (1944)

Ernest Hemingway didn't think his book could be translated into a movie. He was right. Director Howard Hawks instead made a movie with his book's title and similar characters. I don't hold that against him. I never read the book and very little Hemingway in general.

Bogart is Captain Morgan. Not THAT Captain Morgan, just A captain Morgan. Steve Morgan. Or Henry Morgan. Whatever, it doesn't matter. He takes rich people and his drunkard friend (Walter Brennan) out for fishing trips. To complicate this heaven on Earth, Nazis, the resistance, and a hot chick enter his life. Basically, Casablanca with a slightly different setting.

Morgan doesn't want to get involved with the resistance, but he is short on cash. He acts tough guy, woos the chick (Lauren Bacall), and makes them Nazis pay. Typical of what we expect from the man.

 Not much more to say, really. Enjoyable. Not as good as Casablanca, but still good. AMRU 3.5.

Beat the Devil (1953)

On display at the library was a Bogart film I wasn’t familiar with. It stars an aging Bogie, a plump Peter Lorre, and a very young Gina Lollobrigida. It was directed by John Huston and written by Huston and Truman Capote. With that many big names attached to this film, I reasoned, it has to be great. Or suck.

The movie also featured the hot Jennifer Jones, who died in December, and Robert Morley, who looked at death’s door during the movie (fatty managed to live almost another 40 years). The clincher for me was to see a 26 year old Lollobrigida.

“Adventure at its boldest! Bogart at his best!” Bigger lies never before graced a movie jacket cover. Loosely based on the James Helvick novel, Bogie is Billy Dannreuther (sounded like Dan Rather), a man of questionable past married to Lollobrigida. He has a business deal with a group of four criminals lead by Peterson (Robert Morley). Somehow they will swindle uranium rich land in Africa and become millionaires. Bogie has the contact. They are delayed in Italy where they meet a British couple. He is a stuffy aristocratic type, she a dizzy chick with a strange sense of humor. They are taking over a coffee plantation and are on the same steam ship. Lots of antics in town and on board.

Jennifer Jones was charming, delivering the strangest lines in rapid fire. Bogie was, well, Bogie. Older. He would live only four more years. He was in a car accident during filming and lost a couple teeth, so then-unknown actor Peter Sellers was hired to dub parts. Lorre had a fairly small role.

I kept waiting for the business to get going. The trip, the land grab, the millions, but this is a standard caper-gone-bad film. Once I realized the story I THOUGHT was going to unfold, wasn’t, I enjoyed it a bit more. Lots of side deals, obstacles, lies, and mishaps. The tone was light, like a comedy, but it was more tongue-in-cheek than LOL. Still, it kept me interested, and guessing. Were I to pass it while channel surfing, I would likely linger on it for a bit, but I can’t imagine watching it again. AMRU 3.

“I've got to have money. Doctor's orders are that I must have a lot of money, otherwise I become dull, listless and have trouble with my complexion.”

The Big Sleep (1946)

The Providence Public Library started running a Film Noir Sunday Matinee several weeks ago. They began with The Maltese Falcon, did Double Indemnity last week, and yesterday was The Big Sleep. I Finally had the chance to stop in. I dragged along my 13 year old kicking and screaming.

The movie was delayed a half hour. Seems that Netflix sent them the wrong movie. Which one did they get? The remake. They took a trip to a video store.

Humphrey Bogart is Raymond Chandler's Philip Marlowe, private dick. Rich man hires him because somebody is trying to blackmail his hottie daughter. His other daughter is played by Lauren Bacall. Hey, my first Bogie and Bacall film. I remember Bacall back in the day as an elderly spokeswoman for polident or whatever and for that reason I have a hard time thinking of her as hot. I'll say this about the old broad: she's 86 and has three movies coming out next year.

The story twists and turns like film-noir is want to do. The big screen holds my attention better than the small so I think I followed it better than I did The Maltese Falcon, but I was still somewhat mystified. Who is in cahoots with who? Who killed that one? Why?

There is something to say about the media being the message. The jokes are funnier, the gun shots more dramatic, the suspense more intense, the kissing scenes more uncomfortable for a 13 year old boy. I noticed this effect in reverse recently. My Seven Samurai experience encouraged me to have the boys watch Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. On my second viewing, I rated it a real good movie. When I first saw it in a theater I thought it one of the best movies ever. It simply didn't translate to the small screen very well. Forrest Gump fell similarly.

Unlike the genre Horror, I don't have a good feel for what defines film-noir. All men wear suits, all women wear cocktail dresses or long flowing nightgowns. Men are men and women are young and hot. Lots of smoking and drinking. Everybody is serious and wants to be taken seriously. And it must be a detective story. Otherwise, Casablanca would be film-noir. Am I close?

Lets take a look at the ladies, shall we? Of the principle women in the film, the oldest was 23 when the movie came out. The OLDEST! Of course there was a cigarette girl who was the ripe old age of 29, but she barely had one line. 46 year old Bogie claimed to be 38. Must of been good to be a dirty old man in Hollywood back in the day.

What was that 13 year old's reaction at the end of the film? He applauded. This is a total Must See Again film. Great dialog. Wonderfully filmed sequences. Atmosphere, texture, all those film school phrases. It was great stuff. I have to bring the wife next time. AMRU 4.

Oh, and I am seriously considering elevating Lauren Bacall to hot.

Dark Victory (1939)

Back in my early teens, Kim Carnes sang of a woman with Bette Davis eyes. There were two things that I didn't know back then: what the hell that meant, and that Kim Carnes sucked. 

Bette Davis overacts as rich Long Island socialite Judith Traherne, who has been having headaches and dizzy spells. Dr. Frederick Steele, played by a cardboard cut out of George Brent, is the dashing brain surgeon who convinces her she needs surgery, and fast! 

Humphry Bogart get third billing (third billing!?!?) as a horse trainer with an Irish accent (an Irish accent!?!?!?) He wants to nail Judith but doesn't get to (he doesn't get to?!?!?!?) This was before Casablanca, so Bogie wasn't calling the shots just yet. 

Ronald Reagan played a rich, shallow playboy (a rich, shallow ... no, that's about right) who doesn't have much to say. He got forth billing.

Well, the surgery is a complete success and Judith can go back to being the happy-go-lucky socialite without distractions. She falls in love with Dashing Doctor, Dashing Doctor falls in love with her, then she finds out what "Prognosis Negative" means. Spoiler alert: she's gonna die anyhow. After a brief hissy fit (Bogie's best chance, just missed) she goes running back apologetically to Dashing Doctor. They marry, move to Vermont ("What do you do there in between yawns?") to live out her life without regret. Then she gets what every young lady ever really wants: a 45 minute death scene.

Not my cup of tea. It was nominated for best picture, but this was the year of The Wizard of Oz and some costume drama about the civil war, I forget. It's not a bad film, and better than most of the movies I've rated a 3, but I really don't need to see it again.

One final word about Bette's eyes. There were two of them, mostly the same size and evenly spaced, and used to collect visual information. Except towards the end there. Kim Carnes sucks.

Casablanca (1942)

I've seen this film once or twice before, so I knew I loved it. I got it on DVD last Christmas. Yesterday, I watched it again.

Rick (Humphrey Bogart) is the owner of a saloon with a mysterious past. The leader of the Czech underground and Nazi thorn Victor Laszlo (Paul Henreid) arrives with his unbelievably hot wife, Ilsa (Ingrid Bergman) trying to find passage to America. The local authorities, Captain Renault (Caude Rains) and the Nazis want to keep them in Casablanca. Rick can help, but will he?

It seems back in Paris (Flashback! - Doo doo doo, Doo doo doo, Doo doo doo), Ilsa and Rick met up just before the Nazis rolled into town. Ilsa thought Victor was dead, so she made plans to run off with Rick. At the last minute, she learns Victor was only MOSTLY dead, so she leaves Rick at the alter/train station. Poor Rick.

Back in Casablanca, Rick has a choice to make. Help Victor because he sympathizes with his cause or set him up and take his unbelievably hot wife?

Here are a couple of my observations after this viewing:

Sidney Greenstreet and Peter Lorre had very small roles, smaller than I remember. Ingrid Bergman was unbelievably hot. Had I mentioned that before? Claude Rains has many great lines. Clearly a womanizer, but look at these:

"Well, Rick is the kind of man that... well, if I were a woman, and I were not around, I should be in love with Rick."

and

"She was asking about you earlier in a way that made me very jealous."

I know he was supposed to be French, but come on! What's going on here? Discuss ...

Casablanca is an all time great film. Great acting, writing, and atmosphere. It's even better than it's reputation. And Ingrid Bergman was unbelievably hot. AMRU 5. I hope to convince my sons to watch it.

The Maltese Falcon (1941)

This adaptation of a Dashiell Hammett novel stared Humphrey Bogart, Mary Astor (remember her from Red Dust? She's not hot in this film either.), Peter Lorre, Sydney Greenstreet, and also featured Eliza Cook Jr (from just about everything). Directed by John Huston. Arguably, this is Bogart's most famous role after Casablanca. 

Sam Spade and red shirt Miles Archer are detectives. Stereotypical bombshell walks into their office with a hard luck story. They take the case, and soon Archer is dead. Different groups of people turn to mess with Spade, who slowly pieces the real story together. Everyone has a back story and everyone is searching for a jewel-encrusted falcon statue, painted black to disguise it's real value. Who gets it? With all the smoking going on in this film, a black lung was more likely than a black bird. It says something about cigarettes when obese Greenstreet outlives Bogart and Lorre by more than ten years. Cook, it should be noted, lived to a ripe old 172. 

The American Film Institute ranked this the 31st greatest movie of all time in 2007, then called it the 6th best in the genre of Mystery. It was nominated for Best Picture, Best Supporting Actor, and Best Screenplay. 

With the marquee names and reputation, I have to say this was a bit of a let down. I enjoyed the movie, but I couldn't make heads or tails of the story. I think I'll need to watch it again. This time without child interruption. AMRU 3.5.