Only Angels Have Wings (1939)

A cabaret singer (Jean Arthur) steps off her ship at a South American port and meets a couple American fly boys who deliver mail under dangerous conditions. After one of the pilots has an accident, she gets to know their boss (Cary Grant).

There are elements of Rom and there are elements of Com, but make no mistake. This is no Rom-Com. This is the most dramatic role I’ve seen Grant in up to and including North by Northwest (1959). The stakes are high and the outcome is not guaranteed.

Here is an early appearance of Rita Hayworth. The twenty one year old had already appeared in a ton of films. She wasn’t far from Hollywood immortality. Also Thomas Mitchell, who was having a spectacular year. His five films that year were nominated for thirty six Oscars, winning thirteen. One of them was for his performance in Stagecoach.

Only Angels Have Wings is a solid drama. It's refreshing to see Grant play a character not exactly the Cary Grant type. It's perhaps a bit clunky at times, but it's very effective. AMRU 3.5.

Bachelor Mother (1939)

Lovely Polly (Ginger Rogers) is laid off after Christmas from a department store, when she is mistaken for the mother of an abandoned baby. After the store owner’s son (David Niven) becomes involved for some reason, she is coerced into accepting a stranger’s baby as her own. Will love bloom?

A rom-com requires conflict, some kind of predicament to motivate the story. This predicament is pretty irritating. Polly is literally blackmailed into accepting the baby despite her protests. This element simply doesn’t play well today.

Luckily things improve from there. The trope of the sassy out-upon young woman and the rich, irresponsible playboy is a successful one, if a bit well-worn. And who better than Rogers and Niven in the roles? Bachelor Mother features snappy dialog and some fairly amusing moments. AMRU 3.

This makes three for three this season for non-Christmas Christmas movies.

Maisie (1939)

Aspiring showgirl Maisie Ravier (Ann Sothern) arrives in a small Wyoming town to learn that the show is canceled. Stranded with no money, the plucky Maisie finagles her way into a maid job on a dude ranch run by a grumpy cowboy (Robert Young). Will love bloom?

I’ve touched on these movie series in the past but if unfamiliar, in the days before television Hollywood made many series of fairly short, low budget films. Sherlock Holmes, Boston Blackie, Philo Vance, Andy Hardy, The Falcon, and also Maisie. Each episode would be released once, sometimes twice a year, world war permitting.

I thought this series was also in the mystery/detective genre but that wasn’t true for this first one. It is more in the romantic-ish/comedy-ish/drama-ish realm. Initially designed as a vehicle for Jean Harlow, but she became unavailable when she died. They found another pretty-ish sassy blonde with somewhat less sex appeal in Ann Sothern. It was successful enough to produce another nine more over the next eight years.

TV fans might remember Robert Young as the father from Father Knows Best and the doctor from Dr. Marcus Welby, M.D., but he had a minor film career in the 1930’s and 40’s. Ruth Hussey has a secondary role here. I always felt she had the looks and talent to be an A actress but it never happened for her.

Except for Holmes, I haven’t found these B picture series interesting enough to continue watching, and Maisie follows the trend. Sothern’s Maisie wasn’t very likable and the story was nothing special. And as most of the rest are rated lower, I think we should stop here. Not western enough to be a western, funny enough to be a comedy, or interesting enough to be rewatched. AMRU 3. Maybe that’s a little generous.

The Gorilla (1939)

A rich man (Lionel Atwill) in a spooky mansion receives a note saying he will be killed by The Gorilla. He hires the worst detectives in the world to protect him, but is there more going on here?

The Ritz (or Joachim) Brothers were something of a poor man’s Marx Brothers. While prolific in their day, they never saw the same success. They appeared in fourteen films over eight years. If that sounds impressive, consider that their first twelve were released within four years. They used to just stamp these things out back then.

Unlike the Marx Brothers, however, some of their films were not purely Ritz Brother’s vehicles. Instead, the boys acted as comic relief in someone else’s film. And if The Gorilla is any indication, they were also unfunny. What was their comedy like? Think Huntz Hall from The Bowery Boys, with a touch of Shemp Howard, times three. Their jokes were mainly being dumb and doing the exaggerated delayed reaction gag. You know the one.

Luckily the film does not rely on the Brothers. Patsy Kelly, playing a domestic, was quite amusing. Atwill brought significant gravity to his role. Bela Lugosi was kinda wasted as the creepy butler. Peter Lorre, originally intended for the role, might have been a better fit. There was a lot going on with his character that was never explored.

At its core The Gorilla is a spooky mansion mystery/comedy with an ape fetish. The comedy is what it is, and the mystery element does not hold up at all. The filmmakers wanted to pull a twist on an already twisted ending, but none of it made any sense. I don’t think it matters as the audiences were likely checked out of that part of the story.

I shouldn't judge the boys too harshly. This is their lowest rated film. But I think I watched this film out of fear that someone would find out I liked the Marx Brothers, ask if I ever saw a Ritz Brothers film, and I would have to say no. Now I can say yes. Watchable with an occasional giggle. AMRU 2.5.

At The Circus (1939)

Zeppo-analog disinherits himself so he can run a circus with his horse singing love. He is robbed of the ten grand he needs to buy it outright and Antonio (Chico) enlists the help of a lawyer (Groucho) to save the day.

I am growing tired of bits where Chico and Harpo just clown around with no real comedic inventiveness. Here, the boys search for the money in the strong man’s quarters while he sleeps. Nothing particularly funny happens and it doesn’t advance the story. Along with the reintroduction of musical numbers, At the Circus tends to be a little tedious.

That said, it does bring back a little of what Room Service lost. Margaret Dumont for one, if in a lesser capacity (and past the 50 minute mark), and Groucho is his wisecracking self, at least to a degree. Room Service was a non-Marx Brothers film starring the Marx Brothers, and it was clear how well that worked. Circus felt like it was their film, though you can sense that their heart really wasn’t into it anymore.

A young Eve Arden has a sizable role. Older audiences will remember her as Miss Brooks, but she will always be Principle McGee to me. Famous gorilla performer Charles Gemora played a gorilla. He had a thirty year career mostly playing apes or ape-like monsters, including The War of the Worlds and Island of Lost Souls.

While At The Circus does not stand with the best of the Marx Brothers films, it’s not among the skippables either. It contains no fondly remembered comedic bits, but it’s funny enough and very watchable. Cut a couple of the songs and it would be more so. AMRU 3.

The Return of Doctor X (1939)

A reporter scores an interview with beautiful star of the stage Angela, but when he arrives he finds her dead. Stabbed in the heart and everything. Rather than call the police, he runs a sensationalist news story. When she shows up at the newspaper very much alive and threatening to sue, our hero finds himself out of a job. He starts pestering his hunky doctor friend to find out if someone could survive such a wound. Lucky for our heroes, hunky doctor is asked to identify the body of a man who died in exactly the same way. The trail leads to artificial blood and the hunky Doctor’s boss’ creepy assistant (Humphrey Bogart).

Wait, what? Yes, you heard that right. Humphrey Bogart plays the creepy Doctor X. The studio naturally wanted Boris Karloff for the role but couldn’t get him. So instead they enlisted WB bit actor Bogart, who was none too pleased. Still, he did a better than fair job in his only horror role. Ostensibly a sequel to the 1932 film it shares no similarity save for a character called Doctor X. Different backstory, different first name, and, of course, different actor.

Not much horror in this one unless you count the way our hunky doctor practically orders a pretty nurse to go on a date with him, then leaves her in the car while he runs around trying to solve his little mystery. I guess you do what you must to keep your job.

The Return of Doctor X has a fair amount of atmosphere with a little sci-fi thrown in, and Bogie was rather creepy in the role, even if he felt his unfamous self too good to do genre movies. Was being a gangster thug so much better? Nice and short, you may find it worth your time. I did. AMRU 3.

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes (1939)

Dr. Moriarty (George Zucco) is released from prison because, you know, reasons, and vows one last plan to ruin Sherlock Holmes (Basil Rathbone) before retiring. Why he says this to Holmes directly is beyond me. Anyhow, Holmes is appropriately suspicious when two cases cross his desk. The captain of Scotland Yard asks for help when he receives a vague threat regarding the Crown Jewels. But that’s not nearly as interesting as the hot young woman (Ida Lupino) who fears for her brother’s life because of a silly drawing. Suspicious boyfriend is suspicious.

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes was based on a 1899 stage play which starred a young Charlie Chaplin in a small role. Cratchit boy Terry Kilburn plays that character here. I understand the two stories bear little resemblance. One strange thing here is that Holmes lives not at 221B Baker street with boy-toy Watson (Nigel Bruce) but instead in a great mansion with servants and stuff. The films opening was overshadowed by the Nazis invading Poland the same day. Way to ruin a party, Hitler!

Despite this story being new to me, it falls short of The Hound. There was the atmosphere and amusing moments, but little mystery. Because of some inside information it’s not hard for us to guess the outline of Moriarty’s plan. Sherlock, however, is mostly perplexed. Rather than solve the mystery, he follows all the wrong leads, then runs to the climax to wrestle with Moriarty.

Amusing and entertaining, The Adventures is a fun watch and worthy successor to The Hound. It was the last for 20th Century, the franchise being picked up by Universal three years later (with some changes!) AMRU 3.5.

“You've a magnificent brain, Moriarty. I admire it. I admire it so much I'd like to present it pickled in alcohol to the London Medical Society.”

Gone with the Wind (1939)

Entitled bitch Scarlett (Vivien Leigh) learns that the man she is infatuated with (Leslie Howard) is marrying his cousin (Olivia de Havilland), then the war of southern aggression takes the men’s attention away from her, and all the while she is pursued by the cad Rhett Butler (Clark Gable). After losing her precious way of life she learns to be self sufficient, saves Tara, gets her man, and lives happily ever after. Promise.

Chalk this up as another ‘How the hell did I not see this until now’ film. I’m sure this is because I have seen bits and pieces and, well, I have issues. Costume melodramas aren’t exactly in my wheelhouse and I have reveled in my dislike for this kind of film. I have called the Wizard of Oz the greatest bad movie ever and this the worst great movie ever. Not that anyone could say the line Fiddle-dee-dee without sounding like a complete fraud, but some of the acting was horrendous. But mostly I have an extreme distaste for the idolization of the old South, where the idle rich live in lavish comfort on the backs of unimaginable cruelty. And make no mistake, some of that is here, but more on that later. So, after seeing fifty candles on my cake I actually sat down and watched all seventy hours of this epic, romantic, quasi-historic costume melodrama. Here is what I have to say.

There are no likable characters in the film, said one son, with the exception of de Havilland’s Melanie, and she was just a paper-thin generic goodie character used as a foil for horrid Scarlett. To disagree somewhat, I did like the cad Rhett Butler. He knew who he was and owned up to it. He pursued Scarlett because she was just like him. Selfish, manipulative, and driven. Oh, and she was hot. And rich. This may be Gable’s best roll, even though he dismissed it as a woman’s picture. But if you really liked Scarlett as a protagonist, then you are a terrible person.

The third leg in this love triangle is Ashley Wilkes, played by a middle aged ugly man. I guess they didn’t want people rooting for him too much. Seriously, Howard was pushing fifty during filming! He loves Scarlett (I guess) but marries his cousin because that’s what the Wilkes always do. I suppose. Then the war, then all hell breaks loose, then our story resolves. Back to my principal issue.

Slavery is the single greatest evil my nation perpetrated on other humans, and that is saying something. The best thing you can say about the institution is that it was worse in other places. America didn’t need to continuously import slaves to replace the ones dying in the fields, like in the Caribbean. They lived long enough to produce new slaves. If that’s your saving grace, then, again, you are a terrible person. Slavery is never justified by the gifts of civilization and Christianity. And you cannot reminisce for the old south without acknowledging the great and terrible evil that allowed it to exist. The Old South needed to die just as the aristocracies of old Europe. Let’s get back to the film.

What I had missed about Gone With the Wind was there is more than one way to enjoy the story. You could feel sorry for Scarlett or the loss of plantation society as many people do. But the events depicted are not necessarily a treatise on the loss of something grand or the cruelty of the North, but a statement that War is Hell and here are events that happened. Enjoying the story does not necessitate sympathy with slaveholders.

Stepping away from the heavy narrative for a moment, I'd like to shout out to Scarlett's dad played by Thomas Mitchell. He also appeared in The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Stagecoach, and Mr. Smith Goes to Washington all in the SAME YEAR! Olivia de is pushing 101, almost as old as my uncle.

Gone With the Wind is an amazingly beautiful film. The sets, the photography, the editing, it all comes together wonderfully. And the copy I saw was a fairly poor transfer. I can only imagine what a fully restored 4k edition would look like. And for a film that’s two minutes shy of four hours, it never drags. That’s coming from me, charter member of Short Attention Span Theater fan club. I will see it again. AMRU 4.

I don’t leave you with a film quote (of course there were many to choose from), but one from Leslie Howard, who died four years later, a causality of the war:

“I hate the damn part. I'm not nearly beautiful or young enough for Ashley, and it makes me sick being fixed up to look attractive.”

The Hound of the Baskervilles (1939)

Young Henry (Richard Greene), heir to the Baskerville Estate, gets to move in early when uncle Charles dies of a heart attack. Or was he eaten by a phantom hound? No, it was a heart attack. Anyhow, Charlie’s good buddy Dr. Mortimer thinks the family is cursed (you now, by a hound) and young Henry’s life is in great danger. He goes to the legendary Sherlock Holmes (Basil Rathbone) for help.

Remember when I covered the 1959 Hammer version? You do? I don't, to be honest. That was almost seven years ago, and yes, I still haven’t read the source story. I may have gotten details wrong there, so hopefully I’ll do better here.

In a pre-Cumberpatch world, Holmes and Watson were synonymous with Rathbone and Nigel Bruce. (Remember Nigel from Suspicion?) The pair did fourteen Holmes films between 1939 and 1946. Impressed? Twelve were between 42 and 46, plus they even made an appearance in an unassociated comedy. Now THAT’S a production schedule! As such, their style and performances became the standard for all future versions.

The character of Watson (in a pre-Martin Freeman world) was that of a portly, somewhat pompous windbag. A complete foil to Holmes’ understated genius. That characterization comes from Nigel Bruce. The Watson from the stories was the admiring and frequently confounded narrator, not dissimilar to Freeman’s depiction.

Veteran studio hack John Carradine played the suspicious butler. This was just about when his career was taking off. That same year he’d appear in Stagecoach and eventually build a reputation in the world of horror. Also appearing is Lionel Atwill as the good Doctor. He too would spend time working the Universal horror circuit. Come to think of it, Basil himself also had a brief spell there.

The Baskerville estate lies, apparently, on a rocky asteroid, far from civilization but with unusually fast mail delivery. Anyhow, they hold dinner parties,  perform seances, and fall in love while waiting for the mythical hound-beast to eat them all. Or not. Hard to tell.

The Hound of the Baskervilles was a lot of fun. A better than fair mystery with great atmosphere, the kind Old Hollywood sometimes did well. There were red herrings and amusing moments, and a good time was had by all. Except those who died. The next one won't be too far off. AMRU 3.5.

“Oh, Watson - the needle!”

The Cat and the Canary (1939)

Per instructions, a rich man’s last will and testament is to be read in his spooky old mansion, at midnight, ten years after he died. Standard operating procedures, really. The will states that if the sole heir dies or is proven crazy within 30 days, the estate will go to a person named in a second envelope. Also, pretty boilerplate. After the hot, hot heir is named, everyone is forced to stay the night. Oh yea, and there might be a deranged murderer on the loose.

Taken from the same source as the silent classic (as were a couple others), this version was reformulated to showcase budding starlet and Chaplin main squeeze Paulette Goddard, and Bob Hope. It’s success prompted the studio to star the same pair in another comic horror The Ghost Breakers, rushed to theaters just seven months later. Despite how that sounds, that feature was also successful.

The tropes so associated with haunted house movies are in full force here. Secret passages, scary hands from behind things, real eyes watching from paintings, plus all that stuff described in the premise. This all may have been invented either by the source play or the silent version.

Hope was witty, Goddard was charming, and the story holds up. At it’s heart it is a comedy, but it is still faithful to the horror genre: a plausible element of the supernatural and a sense of fear for both the characters and audience. Amusing, interesting, creepy to a point, and an enjoyable watch. AMRU 3.5. The 'cat' was the escaped lunatic.

Cicily: Don't big empty houses scare you?
Wally Campbell: Not me, I used to be in vaudeville.

Ninotchka (1939)

Just before the onset of World War II three Russian operatives arrive in Paris to sell the legally confiscated jewels of the former Grand Duchess. Unfortunate for them, they chose the same hotel that the Grand Duchess (former) herself was staying at. Her lover (Melvyn Douglas) interrupts the sale and makes a claim on them. The operatives are living the Paris lifestyle waiting for the courts to decide, but Soviet government grows impatient and suspicious. They send in their sternest and most serious envoy to take over negotiations, Nina Ivanovna Yakushova (or Ninotchka to her friends, had she any).

A Lubitsch rom-com written (at least partially) by Billy Wilder, how can it go wrong? Greta Garbo, who underwhelmed in Grand Hotel, sparkles. First as the comically humorless Russian agent then as love-lorn and conflicted. She and the Grand Duchess' lover (soon to be former) cross paths without knowing who they are. He takes a fancy to her and she finds him amusing enough. Then things get complicated.

Hey, Bela Lugosi is here! Briefly. He has a quick and unimportant scene late in the film telling Ninotchka to check in with the same three operatives again, this time in Constantinople (not Istanbul). Was he begging for bit parts already?

Wonderfully written, delightfully performed, Ninotchka is a lot of fun. It does seem to lose track and go heavy handed on the Soviet social commentary, but that doesn't spoil a great viewing experience. AMRU 4.

"The last mass trials were a great success. There are going to be fewer but better Russians."

The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1939)

Fair warning: wall to wall spoilers here.

Hot gypsy (Maureen O'Hara) sneaks into Paris, is chased, hides in church, is creeped on by old, politically connected dude, who orders hunchback (Charles Laughton) to capture her. She is rescued, falls in love with dashing knight, does the naughty-naughty with him, he is killed, she is framed, old creep uses goat to convict her, villagers go mad, deus ex machina, and everyone lives happily ever after.

Heavy on the exposition in parts and preachy throughout, this is Hollywood at it's hollywoodiest. Good characters embrace the printing press and the round Earth theory while the bad worry about being cursed by witches. If you don't get the moral at first, don't worry. Soon you will be bludgeoned to death with it. Before I get to what I liked, here is a big thing I had a problem with.

At the end Esmeralda is hiding out in the Church while creepy old dude tries to rescind the law of sanctuary. The Parisians defend the church from capture, and the thieves guild try to rescue her from the church. Lots of carnage and property damage while everyone is trying to PROTECT her! Why must people resort to violence when inflammatory propaganda fliers solve everything?

Despite itself, there were some good acting performances, and the costumes, makeup, and sets (beautifully photographed) were wonderful. Cedrick Hardwicke was great playing the Alan Rickman character. Maureen O'Hara recently passed and I just happened to have this on the DVR, so it got bumped to the front of the queue. Overbearing in tone at times, but very nice visually. AMRU 3.

"I'm about as shapeless as the man in the moon!"

Son of Frankenstein (1939)

Happy Halloween!

Well, I have to say not bad. I got four versions of Frankenstein in before the month's end. Still, there are many more, it would have been nice to do some of them. Maybe I still will. Let's see if I can't get this in before any monsters arrive. Too late!

Anyhow, Wolf von Frankenstein (Basil Rathbone) travels to the village of his father's to claim his birthright. In today's episode, that village is called 'Frankenstein'. Shouldn't be too hard to remember (it was called 'Goldstadt' in the first two films). Wolfie laments that people have taken to calling the monster by his surname. Sounds like someone I know. Wolfie, hot wife, and annoying child arrive by train and are greeted by less than hospitable townsfolk. He offers his condolences and tries to reassure them that they have nothing to fear, but they aren't buying anything. Neither are we.

The good people settle in their sparsely decorated scary castle in hopes of proving their good will, while the village council will have none of that. While strolling around his dad's partially destroyed laboratory, he meets Ygor (Bela Lugosi), who shows him his secret. That being his dad's monster (Boris Karloff), sleeping soundly, right in the middle of the room. Jeez, talk about being oblivious.

Seems Ygor and Monster have struck up a friendship. Monster trusts Ygor and "does things" for him. Nudge nudge, wink wink. But monster was struck by lightening and now all he does is sleep. Doctor, fix!

Lionel Atwill played Inspector Krough, the most memorable character after maybe Ygor. He seems to crop up in movies I am looking at, like the title character in Doctor X (anyone got a copy I can borrow?) plus three more Frankenstein movies, never as the same character. Between him and Dwight Frye (who was in four, maybe five Frankensteins), the franchise seems almost Star Trekian in how they recycle their actors. Frye is unconfirmed in Son of.

Anyways, back to Atwill. A respected stage actor had a successful screen career, but threw an orgy-christmas party one year and that ended everything for him. Watch Young Frankenstein and pay attention to the inspector who plays darts with Gene Wilder. That's Kenneth Mars doing a better than fair Atwill/Krough impersonation. Mars died in February. Remember him also as the Nazi screenwriter from The Producers.

A nod must be given to Bela. When his good roles are listed, Ygor is mentioned alongside Dracula and Murder from White Zombie. His crappy roles are too numerous to mention. Interesting to note that his hunch-backedness was actually two inches taller than the monster. A good job was done camouflaging that fact.

Rathbone will forever be remembered for the detective in the silly hat, but he also played in a large number of Horror movies, apparently not liking them much. His slow burn from reasoned outsider to bombastic scientist was the model for Gene Wilder's version.

It's annoying how significant details of the story are changed with each new version (Highlander anyone?) like the look and proximity of the laboratory, and the presence of a castle to begin with. And what's up with the empty castle anyhow? Props department closed that week? They used bare walls and clever shadows to express moods. Not sure it worked all that well.

Still, reasonable story, good acting, and a strong addition to the franchise. AMRU 3.5.

"One doesn't easily forget, Herr Baron, an arm torn out by the roots."

The Flying Deuces (1939)

On vacation in France, Oliver Hardy falls in love with a young hottie (Jean Parker). When she rejects his offer of marriage, he decides to end it all. Stan Laurel helps him out.

After failing miserably at what should be a fairly easy task, they take the advice of a passing stranger to instead join the French Foreign Legion. After a spell in the legion, Oliver declares himself cured and wants out. Unfortunately, getting out of the foreign legion is harder than getting in. Ming himself, Charles Middleton, plays the commandant.

The Flying Deuces is a partial remake of Beau Hunks (1931), a short that also has our heroes joining the foreign legion to help Ollie forget a girl who jilted him. Ming again played the commandant. In Deuces, if the title and poster are to be believed, involves some flying. I checked the clock at the point they first boarded a plane in this 60 minute movie. It was at the 56 minute mark.

The first Laurel and Hardy film I first covered was Utopia, their last effort. My take was it's a poor example of these comedy legends and wanted to see something closer to their prime. Here's to hoping this isn't it. I called Utopia "tired, unoriginal, and unfunny". Here, twelve years younger, I found it much the same. Ollie appeared more alive, but not much funnier. My oldest son watched Utopia with me. Two years older, he kinda giggled at one point. Once more than me. Maybe I need to go earlier to see them at their best, or maybe their comedy just doesn't hold up. I may be willing to find out. AMRU 2.5.

Stagecoach (1939)

A bunch of people are sharing a stagecoach ride from Tonto, Arizona (not kidding) to Lordsburg, New Mexico. Each has their own back story. The principle problem is that Geronimo is on the warpath, which means he is active in his attacks on the heathen invaders (that'd be us whities). The Calvary has offered an escort for part of the way.

Along the way, they meet up with escaped murderer, the Ringo Kid (John Wayne). Seems Ringo busted out to git the man who shot his paw. And his brother. The man that shot them both. As luck would have it, that man is in Lordsburg. That place is totally hopping.

Ringo hitches a ride, principally because the Sheriff was riding shotgun (youngsters take note: that's what that means!) and will take Ringo into custody once they reach their destination. So, the outlaw joins the group of the wife looking for her soldier husband, the drunken doctor, the banker, the gambler, the hot chick of ill repute, the liquor salesman, the eskimo, the indian chief, the space pilot, the ... ok, I fibbed about a couple of those.

Anyhow, at every stop their prospects look worse and worse. The Calvary can't protect them, evidence of injun attacks is everywhere, and lady-looking-for-husband is getting sick. Whatever shall become of them?

This here is a character study. Most of the people don't know each other and they all have their own secret. As the story progresses and the challenges become more intense, their character is revealed.

Excellent movie. Chuck full of western stereotypes and character actors, this granddaddy of the the modern western is the movie that made John Wayne a star. Before Chuck Norris was Chuck Norris, there was John Wayne. Wayne never gave nobody a karate chop, but at least he could act. Sure, Chuck was a great martial artist, but his acting was absolutely craptacular. Back in the day, nobody was tougher than the Duke. Nobody. AMRU 4.

The Wizard of Oz (1939)

Initially I had little interest in covering movies like this, wanting to focus on movies I HAVEN'T seen, but it was on TBS the other day, and what the hell ...

Just about everyone has seen the Wizard. It has become part of our cultural language. It has been referenced, spoofed, and copied in more places than can be counted. The movie connections link on IMDb goes on and on, and I'm certain I can find references that were missed. But, for the benthic organisms in the audience, allow me to summarize the story.

Hot chick runs away from home and finds a lonely old con man and says she wants to run away with him. He, for reasons that escape me, convinces her to go home. During a tornado, no less. She returns home and cannot find her family. She gets knocked on the head and falls asleep. She wakes in the technicolor land of Oz. Midgets and a drag queen tell her that a lonely old con man might help her get home, so she goes looking for him after stealing the shoes of a woman she killed.

Along the way she meets up with three magical creatures, one that represents a heartless father figure, another a mindless sack of hay, and a third the courage to do the deed. After a pit stop in an opium den and an experience with some "snow", they arrive at the Emerald City to beg free gifts from the wizard. He asks for an old woman's broom in exchange.

Off they go to steal the broom from the sister of the murdered woman. After the hot chick is captured by flying monkeys, the magical creatures go in to save her. During the rescue the hot chick dumps acid on the old woman, killing her. The guards quickly realize that they aren't going to get paid anymore, so they let her plunder the castle.

The con man of Oz tries to renege on his agreement, so the magical creatures rough him up. They get their booty, but before the hot chick gets safe passage back to Kansas (seriously, she wants to go to Kansas), he makes his escape in a hot air balloon. Just then the drag queen from earlier arrives to tell her he's been jerking her around the whole time and she always could have gone home, phych! Meanwhile, the magical creatures take control of Oz and rule it with an iron fist.

I have a few observations from this viewing. While there are many elements that make this movie work, one I don't think gets enough attention is the work of Margaret Hamilton. As Elmira Gulch, she's a nasty bitch. As the Wicked Witch, she deliciously evil. An unattractive woman, even in complementary makeup, Hamilton was captivating in every scene she was in. If there could have been any acting awards (there weren't, let's be serious), it would have been for her. I would totally buy her crappy coffee. I will say, however, that the witch constantly calling Dorothy "pretty" made me uncomfortable.

One more thing. Early in the film, Glinda establishes that only bad witches are ugly. She then proceeds to ask Dorothy if she is a good witch or a bad witch. Hmmmm. Sounds to me like the old lady had an axe to grind.

AFI called it the number one fantasy film. I don't know about that. Premiere Magazine, however, rated it as one of the 20 most overrated films of all time. That may be so, but it's still a good movie. While watching it I wondered if the Wizard of Oz would have been the Wizard of Oz, if it weren't the Wizard of Oz. Something to think about. AMRU 4. You must see it again. You have no choice.

Dark Victory (1939)

Back in my early teens, Kim Carnes sang of a woman with Bette Davis eyes. There were two things that I didn't know back then: what the hell that meant, and that Kim Carnes sucked. 

Bette Davis overacts as rich Long Island socialite Judith Traherne, who has been having headaches and dizzy spells. Dr. Frederick Steele, played by a cardboard cut out of George Brent, is the dashing brain surgeon who convinces her she needs surgery, and fast! 

Humphry Bogart get third billing (third billing!?!?) as a horse trainer with an Irish accent (an Irish accent!?!?!?) He wants to nail Judith but doesn't get to (he doesn't get to?!?!?!?) This was before Casablanca, so Bogie wasn't calling the shots just yet. 

Ronald Reagan played a rich, shallow playboy (a rich, shallow ... no, that's about right) who doesn't have much to say. He got forth billing.

Well, the surgery is a complete success and Judith can go back to being the happy-go-lucky socialite without distractions. She falls in love with Dashing Doctor, Dashing Doctor falls in love with her, then she finds out what "Prognosis Negative" means. Spoiler alert: she's gonna die anyhow. After a brief hissy fit (Bogie's best chance, just missed) she goes running back apologetically to Dashing Doctor. They marry, move to Vermont ("What do you do there in between yawns?") to live out her life without regret. Then she gets what every young lady ever really wants: a 45 minute death scene.

Not my cup of tea. It was nominated for best picture, but this was the year of The Wizard of Oz and some costume drama about the civil war, I forget. It's not a bad film, and better than most of the movies I've rated a 3, but I really don't need to see it again.

One final word about Bette's eyes. There were two of them, mostly the same size and evenly spaced, and used to collect visual information. Except towards the end there. Kim Carnes sucks.

Another Thin Man (1939)

Nick and Nora are back with all of the booze and sarcasm intact. This time the executor of Nora's estate is convinced someone is out to kill him. Well, guess what ...

Anyhow, with the loving encouragement of Nora, Nick is on the case. Is the murderer Phil Church, who the victim suspected? One of his accomplices? The adopted daughter or her nere-do-well fiance? The Charles' nanny (they have a baby now, you know)? The housekeeper? Lots of suspects and like the previous two, you are kept guessing.

Not much to say without spoiling the story. Shemp Howard had a small, uncredited role as a thug. The nanny was from Providence, RI. The actor who played the Charles' baby died at age 35. This was his only acting role. I saw about two thirds of the movie before my player in my bedroom stopped reading the disk. I finished off the film in the living room in the morning. Part of one chapter was skipped because of damage. The disk didn't look in too bad compared to some I get from the library.

I love the police work in these old movies. I know this is before the Miranda law, but come on. They shoot at every opportunity, contaminate every crime scene, allow witnesses to walk away without questioning them. Best thing I can say is I didn't notice them drinking while on duty.

The mystery was mysterious. The dialog was sharp and witty. Loy is still hot. The liquor still flowed. I noticed that the Thin Man movies have decreasing IMDB ratings, but I was not disappointed. The first is still my favorite, but this may be better than the second. AMRU 3.5.