Charlie Chan in the Secret Service (1944)

Netflix recently made suggestions based on my interest in Charlie Chan in the Secret Service. Oh, yea, I thought. I saw that. I forgot to blog about it. Talking about staying power ...

Sidney Toler is back as America's favorite Asian stereotype. I've already covered the racism aspect of these films so let's take that as read. Thanks for building our railroads. We really appreciate it. As it turns out my criticism of the lack of clues leading to the conclusion from the first one holds true for this as well. Toler, in his annoying Chan cadence, points out clues he could not possibly have known. Everyone is a suspect until the very end. You have no chance of figuring it out yourself, except maybe to suspect the one person they don't highlight very much.

Here's how the story goes: scientist murdered, secret government plans stolen, dinner party guests suspects, Chan solves. Yawn.

This one was made earlier than Scarlet Clue and as it turns out, the first to feature my old friend, Mantan Moreland. Benson Fong also lends his uselessness to the mix. Chan niece Iris also tags along. Played by Marianne Quon, she was ... kinda cute. She didn't do a whole lot of acting in her life, and not that much here as it turns out.

Now I've seen two of these things and one thing is clear. A comedy/mystery that is neither funny nor a good mystery doesn't make for much of a movie. I liked Scarlet better because Mantan's bits were better. Having seen it first may have helped as well. AMRU 2.

Spider Baby (1968)

or, The Maddest Story Ever Told.

Written, shot, and edited one afternoon back in 1964, this movie sat on the shelf for four years while everyone associated with it filed for bankruptcy. It was finally released in 1968. Spider Baby is significant for me because three actors I've noted in my blog-life come together for one of their last films. Lon Chaney Jr only had four movies released after it, Mantan Moreland had five (one uncredited) and hottie Carol Ohmart had but one. Of course those numbers go up if we use the 1964 filming date, but hey, I'm manufacturing a theme here, people!

This is the story of the Merrye family. They live is a large rural home, have a faithful family chauffeur, and are apparently fairly wealthy. The bad news is that they are sick, degenerate, murderous, inbred cannibals. Think The Addams Family, only more so.

A messenger (Moreland) arrives to deliver a letter from a lawyer. The lawyer, his secretary, and two distant cousins will be arriving with the intent on claiming the family fortune. Mr. Messenger is promptly hacked to death.

The Merrye family consists of two hot sisters, Elizabeth and Virginia, and brother Ralphie, who is in advanced stages of Merrye Syndrome, a degenerative disease causing them to regress mentally, socially, and physically. Chaney Jr is their caretaker.

The unusually short, cigar chomping lawyer with a Hitler mustache arrives with his pleasant-enough looking secretary, along with Emily and Peter (husband and wife? Brother and sister?), who are distant relatives with a claim on the estate. They insist on staying the night. Does anyone here see that as a bad idea?

At the moment I can think of one example (Temple of Doom), but I know that the "disgusting dinner" scene has been done several times. Here it was not done well, methinks. Roasted cat, garden fungus, and weeds. Maybe if the video was clearer it would have had a bigger impact.

Apparently the key for the Merrye sisters to act as menacing as possible is for them to act as outrageous as possible. And, quite frankly, as bad as possible. Even Ohmart isn't buying the script. Not until she finds creepy Ralphie spying her goody-goody yum-yums that she realizes she's in trouble.

The sub-title was a reference to The Greatest Story Ever Told, which would have been cool had they been able to release it in a timely manner. Renamed and re released several times, it has been given names like Cannibal Orgy and The Liver Eaters. Yum. A couple of the characters mention liking horror movies and express their fondness for The Wolf Man, which, of course starred Lonnie.

It's hard for a comedy/horror to strike a good balance. Slightly too much humor destroys the horror. Spider Baby was creepy. Was it funny? Kinda. Spider Baby did some things right. Unfortunately, it did a lot wrong as well. Parts of the script absolutely sucked. There is a remake in the works. I'm curious if they can right the wrongs, or if they will simply screw it all up.

AMRU 3.

King of the Zombies (1941)

Three people on a plane over the Caribbean are blown off course and land when they hear a radio broadcast. They become the guests of the mysterious Dr. Sangre. The passengers manservant, played by old friend Mantan Moreland, becomes convinced the mansion is crawling with zombies.

Mostly predictable story. Not too funny, not very original, not at all scary, it would seem this film has little going for it. The one thing it does is Mantan. He has quickly become my favorite racial stereotype. Another good point is Marguerite Whitten, who plays a maid who feeds Mantan zombie stories and pie. The whities in the story, mostly forgettable. The poster doesn't show the darker actors, so I have to include a photo of the people that made this thing work.

Here is what sticks in my memory: Dr. Sangre requiring Mantan to sleep in the servants quarters. It seems that the movie makers wanted to take half a stand against racism. A forgettable film if it weren't for the black actors. Shockingly enough, this movie was nominated for an Oscar. So, where do I put it? 2.5? 3? I'm a bona fide fan of Mantan now. AMRU 3.

The Scarlet Clue (1945)

Ah, America in the 40's. No racial tension to worry about. Charlie Chan is played by a fat white guy in crappy makeup and black chauffeurs are easily spooked. Times were simple then.

It is easy to look at films like these and point in offense, but it does illustrate how far we have come. Besides, Mantan Moreland was funny. He did two "indefinite talk" routines where he and another character cut each other off mid sentence over and over. If you get past the demeaning "jittery negro" shtick, you have to laugh.

But I'm a white dude, so I'm in no position to be offended.

The story is a mystery, of course. There is a plot to steal secret radar plans (WWII, don't forget). The death of a potential witness is linked to a radio and TV studio that operates on the same floor of the same building. Huh? No, that makes sense. Want to run a TV studio, just grab a couple offices next to a military research laboratory.

There's little mystery in this mystery. Not sure who the bad guy is? Wait a bit and he'll be revealed. The only real mystery is the identity Mr. Big, but since there are no clues presented to lead us to their identity, the guessing game is rather pointless.

Still, it was fun. Moreland and Chan's number three son (played by Benson Fong, an actual Chinese actor!) worked great together. And at 65 minutes, it wasn't a second too long. True to Library DVD form, I got three minutes from the end of the film and it skipped to the end. Some light cleaning allowed me to watch the final chapter uninterrupted.

By the way, the title refers to blood. Someone bleeds, and it's a clue. And you thought it was about a board game, did you? AMRU 3.