Cry Terror! (1958)

Good guy Jim (James Mason) is tricked into building a detonator for an army buddy (Rod Steiger) who uses it to extort money from airlines. They need his wife to execute part of the plan so they keep Jim and child locked away to ensure her cooperation.

Buddy Paul’s gang includes the always menacing Neville Brand, the never menacing Jack Klugman, and Angie Dickinson. Familiar face William Schallert has a small role and silent film star Mae Marsh makes an appearance. She has a ton of screen credits.

Jim’s young, pretty wife (Inger Stevens) could have been the helpless damsel but instead was strong and active in the face of adversity. Also quite charming. Stevens herself could have used some of that strength. Late in filming, she and Steiger were overcome with carbon monoxide fumes. She tried to refuse oxygen, saying she wanted to die. She would take her own life twelve years later. One never knows the private battles others are fighting.

Local police are on top of the case but Paul has things pretty well figured out. Many times films like this rely on characters behaving illogically in order for the story to happen. I was pleasantly surprised when that expectation was subverted.

Cry Terror! won’t stand out at the top of the genre, but it deserves to be better remembered. It has a quality story, the characters behave logically, some pretty tense moments, and a satisfying conclusion. AMRU 3.5.

South Pacific (1958)

On an island in the South Pacific during World War II, pretty nurse Nellie (Mitzi Gaynor) falls in love with a rich French expatriate. He would be instrumental in a dangerous mission that could turn the tide of the war. I hope he agrees to help.

But this is a Rodgers and Hammerstein musical so there is a whole lot more going on, not limited to tedious musical numbers. There’s sexy lieu-tellen (John Kerr, no relation) who’s not on a mission, who says he is? And my favorite maritimer Billis (Ray Walston) who wants to visit the island Bali Ha’i for, you know, women. Jersey girl Juanita Hall reprised her role from the stage as Islander Bloody Mary. Figuring she was too old to sing, they dubbed her singing voice. In fact many of the actors had their singing voices dubbed, sounding comically different than their speaking voice.

The theme here is prejudice, highlighted by the song “You've Got To Be Carefully Taught”. The film features references to two interracial relationships, quite progressive for the fifties. Unfortunately, the depiction of south pacific natives was very 1950’s. You win some, you lose some.

Silly and dated, South Pacific is a somewhat amusing romp that holds your interest, particularly if you are a fan of musicals. It was as huge a success on the screen as it was on the stage. I found it a bit tedious at times, but it was nice to learn the origin of the songs my mom used to sing when she was being silly. AMRU 3.5.

Cosmic Monsters (1958)

Scientists are working on some sort of magnetic ray that changes the molecular structure of metals, and it might be interfering with televisions at the local pub. Funding was in danger of being cut until the military recognized the tactical benefit. A strange visitor appears to inform them of a greater danger.

Originally titled “The Strange World of Planet X”, it was renamed for American audiences. Neither title hits the mark. But it has many of the tropes of 50’s sci-fi: an obsessed scientist, unintended consequences, giant bugs, and a budding romance.

Our lead is Forrest Tucker whom people my age may remember as Sergeant O’Rourke from F-Troop. A better actor than many in this tier of film but he lacked leading man good looks. He was believable as a lab assistant only because his duties were limited to turning dials when Dr. Obsessive barked at him.

50’s gender politics are revealed when an injured lab assistant is replaced by a woman. Our hero spouts the expected misogyny but is surprised to discover she is both attractive and qualified. I don’t ding it for this because it subverts the stereotype rather than confirm it. She is played by French actress Gaby André, but her accent was deemed too thick so they dubbed her with an English actress. It was very noticeable.

Like all 50’s sci-fi B films, the science is garbage. I won’t go into it. It was, however, surprisingly gory by 1950’s standards. Not as talkie as some UK films but it does border on having too many secondary characters for a drive-in audience to follow. Dumb as it is, it's well executed, does a lot with a limited budget, and is quite engaging. All in all, it wasn’t half bad. AMRU 3.5.

"Yea, I know the type. Frustrated angular spinster. Very dedicated to her calling. Without a sense of humor, bossy, and infuriatingly right every time."

Houseboat (1958)

A terrible dad (Cary Grant) tries to reconnect with his three children after his estranged wife dies, so he takes them to his undersized Washington DC bachelor pad. There one of the boys meets with a young woman (Sophia Loren) who is rebelling against her dad. He needs a housekeeper and she a job, so she is hired. Implausible comic mischief has them living on a dilapidated houseboat.

This is a pretty standard rom-com so we know the dashing 54 year old will end up with the beautiful 24 year old, and we are never to feel weird about that. In reality she and the married Grant had been dating since they both appeared in The Pride and the Passion. He accepted this role trying to keep the relationship alive, but she had moved on to dating the married Carlo Ponti, who was merely twenty two years her senior. Grant tried and failed to back out of the film. Maybe this is why their chemistry isn’t what it could have been. Ponti divorced his wife and married Loren by proxy during the filming. Five years later they would divorce, take a four year break, then remarry.

Murray Hamilton, you know, the mayor in Jaws, has a smallish role as a low grade jerk. Somewhere in there is a young Barbara Steele in her first film role. I never saw her. Martha Hyer was charming as the red-herring love interest. She shows up from time to time (most recently in Born to Kill) but I never before took notice.

It’s a little known fact that dialog spoken by children in movies is actually written by adults. And by little known, I mean very obvious. But it wasn’t more obvious than by listening to Grant’s three children. It was conspicuous how non-childlike they spoke. You might be tempted to attribute their less than naturalistic performance to their age, but all three were already acting veterans. This was apparently a decision.

Grant wasn’t very likable and as mentioned there wasn’t great chemistry between the leads, but it isn’t without its charm. In the past I may have awarded Houseboat a passing grade, but I am growing tired of by-the-numbers Hollywood dribble. AMRU 2.5.

Attack of the 50 Foot Woman (1958)

Or, “A Woman Scorned, 1950’s edition”

Harry Archer likes to hang around bars with floozies (Yvette Vickers) and this causes his wife Nancy to fly off in a rage. You see, despite his lecherous ways, she still loves him. Problem is, he doesn’t and because she's loaded, he can’t divorce her or he won’t get a cent. A solution presents itself when she returns hysterical with talk about seeing a thirty foot man in a “satellite”. Sanitarium-bound she is. Problem is, there actually IS a thirty foot man in a “satellite”. At some point she grows very tall, maybe fifty feet, who’s to say.

Side note: this was during the Sputnik hysteria, which the media described as a satellite. Not knowing what that meant, the screenwriter assumed it referred to all spherical spacecraft. Sci-Fi as a second language. Additionally, while the height of the man in the “satellite” is mentioned, poor Nancy’s is not. When standing next to a building, thirty appears to be a better estimate.  I don’t know this but I think the film was titled after it was in the can. I suppose Attack of the 30 Foot Woman wasn’t quite as dramatic.

But talk about following through with your promises. There is a woman, of some unnatural yet undetermined height, who (spoiler alert) does attack. Valley of the Zombies, this is not. Most of the film is personal drama. Harry and Floozie plot ways to prove poor Nancy crazy and such, and the actors (with the exception of the comic-relief deputy) take the material very seriously. This raises the level of the product somewhat and makes it a much more enjoyable watch. But make no mistake. This is not a good film.

Not having the money to do adequate special effects is one thing. Not having the money to hire someone who knows how to do special effects at all is quite another. The “satellite” and giants are translucent, proportions of both are wildly wrong, and Nancy’s oversized hand just may be the single worst prop in film history. Also, when Nancy goes large, she looks completely different. This is the film’s legacy.

Not that I think the filmmakers gave any thought to message, I do wonder what the ending meant. Nancy, now a giant, blond, and wearing a bikini she picked up somewhere, saunters into town looking for Harry. (Ok, that's another problem. Vengeful giants don't 'saunter'!) One hot take I heard painted her as the villain, but I don’t buy this. Harry was never depicted as sympathetic and his fate was retribution for his sins. My question is, however, is Nancy looking for Harry for revenge or because she wants him back? A case can be made for either conclusion. Surprisingly deep for a straight to drive-in flick.

In the end, Attack of the 50 foot Woman is amusing, well paced, interesting, and appropriately brief. I have no intention on exploring all of the many goofs this film presents. Look to YouTube for that. I say give it a watch. It's fun. AMRU 3.5.

I Married a Monster from Outer Space (1958)

A woman marries a man who turns out to be a Monster from Outer Space. Spoiler alert.

What may have been intended as a by-the-numbers drive-in horror flick turned out to be something slightly better. Pretty Marge (pretty Gloria Talbott) is the focus of the story as she realizes she doesn’t know the man she married. This channels the fear of many newlyweds who truly don’t know their partner prior to tying the knot. But in this case it’s because, as previously mentioned, he’s a Monster from Outer Space.

Once her fears are confirmed she tries to get help, but few people are willing to take her seriously. Women, am I right? Always not being taken seriously by men. Here the plot dips slightly into Invasion of the Body Snatchers territory.

There are a few points that puzzled me. How well does the alien … sorry, the Monster from Outer Space understand human culture? How well does it understand it’s human target? Did the newlyweds … you know … do it? Their plan is pretty vague.

I Married a Monster from Outer Space is far from a good movie. The acting, cinematography, and creature effects are pretty good considering the budget and genre, but the story can be a little slow, nonsensical, and slightly lacking in horror. Also, equipment shadows are frequently noticeable. It is what it is, which isn’t altogether bad. Thanks for the recommendation, Jerome. AMRU 3.

Queen of Outer Space (1958)

Four astronauts on their way to a space station find it under attack by, I’m guessing, Chuck Jones. It is destroyed, our heroes are thrown off course, and land on a frozen world. Because the gravity is about the same as Earth, they know that the atmosphere would naturally be breathable. So, they venture out into a lush tropical jungle and wonder if there is any life on the planet. Man, is the science wonky here.

Let’s set our expectations appropriately. Four astronauts land on a planet entirely peopled by hot chicks in mini-skirts. Front loading the story with The Martian-level science wasn’t going to happen. This is pure male fantasy and wish fulfillment. If there is a moral to this story, it’s that a woman’s life has no purpose unless she has a man to, I don’t know, make sandwiches for. Besides, women? Run things?

The majority of sarcastic comments come from one particular astronaut allowing the others to roll their eyes in implied superiority. See, we’re not so bad because we aren’t as bad as him. Doesn’t work, though, because they are all guilty to some degree. Besides, our chauvinist never learns a hint of a lesson. In fact, clueless seems to be the defining characteristic for them all. They are sentenced to death by a people with vastly superior technology, and never take their situation seriously.

Zsa Zsa Gabor plays a scientist who leads an insurrection to overthrow the queen, which is amazing timing for our heroes. There is a story that Zsa Zsa became very difficult on set because the crew were ogling the younger actresses instead of ogling her. I really hope that’s true.

I’m not going to camouflage the fact that I unironically enjoyed Queen of Outer Space. It wasn’t original, well acted, or clever. The sets look pretty good but they were all borrowed from World Without End, a better film I liked less because it tried to be taken seriously. The launch footage was lifted directly from NASA stock footage (and played in the wrong aspect ration), then show a completely different looking rocket once in space. Maybe I found it charming because it dared to be this dumb. It was easy to watch and afforded me some good laughs. AMRU 3. I am not ashamed.

"Twenty-six million miles from Earth, and the little dolls are just the same."

Indiscreet (1958)

Actress Anna (Ingrid Bergman) is between relationships and just wants to take a break from life. Her sister and brother-in-law try to coax her into going to a lecture on economics (I know, right?) but she isn’t interested. Crazy. That is, until the head speaker arrives and it’s the dreamy Philip (dreamy Cary Grant). They have a flirtatious evening until he reveals that he is married! They continue to see each other anyhow. How Indiscreet!

There is a lot of subtext going on here. Ingrid was banished from Hollywood for her indecent affair with Roberto Rossellini, having his child while still married to her first husband! She hid in shame in Europe, shunned by the town she loved so not really the story. It’s just how it was always framed. It was more complicated than that. Here, watch this.

Anyhow, Bergman returned a wiser person who better knew herself. Grant, on his third marriage, older, wiser, and evolving as a leading man. Bergman in her early forties and Grant his early fifties, there is no hiding that this is a relationship between older adults. 

What follows is a very believable relationship between two adults. Not by far the most interesting film either actor has appeared in but among their best acting performances, and included some moving scenes. And real life friends, they have excellent screen chemistry. It is a shame they only did two pictures together. AMRU 3.5.

The Blob (1958)

“Teenagers” see a shooting star that is revealed to contain some sort of growing mass, a “Glob” if you will, that attaches itself to flesh and dissolves its victim. Local authorities won’t listen to our heroes because they are “teenagers”, not that they did a terribly good job trying.

A half step above the regular sci-fi/horror drive-in fare of the era, The Blob is remembered mostly because it was Steve McQueen’s first starring role. I don’t myself as a McQueen fan but there is something about his performances that draw your attention.

Another thing that makes The Blob stand out is the uniqueness of a non-Newtonian monster. I can’t think of a precedent. The low budget special effects were quite good. The only problem points are the cringe-worthy scenes where “teens” try to behave like teens. Once past that, we have a fairly good paranoia monster movie with a pretty good climax.

The Blob rises above its budget and makes for an enjoyable watch. Maybe it would not be a classic if not for the casting, but it's fun and we do get very good performances from McQueen and the prettiest girl in Mayberry. AMRU 3.

Gigi (1958)

Gaston (Louis Jourdan), a fabulously wealthy man about town, is bored with the Parisian nightlife. He goes to fabulous parties with fabulous women (Eva Gabor) whom he showers with fabulous gifts, and is simply bored with it all. His creepy uncle (Maurice Chevalier) has no such problem. Thank heaven for little girls ...

He is friends with an older woman of Paris (Hermione Gingold) who is training her granddaughter (Leslie Caron) for the same … profession? As Gaston grows closer to Gigi, well, let’s just leave that here.

In a modern context, maybe Madame Alverez would be picked up by the FBI while Gaston would have been suicided in prison. But Gigi has a moral out. Set in 1900 Paris, the setting is distinctly not here and not now. This passes the judgement off to another culture. And as we are further from 1958 then 1958 was from 1900, another separation is in place. Should we judge the film harshly?

Leslie Caron was absolutely charming as the playful teen. The ripe old age of 26 while filming, she was entirely believable as a teenager. This is no small feat. Her body language was spot on. And this presents a problem. Is the character fifteen? They never say, but she is in the source material and seems every bit of it. So what we are left with is a budding romance between a teenaged girl and a rich, bored man pushing 40. And this is all ok because her grandmother (and great aunt) were training her to be a courtesan all along. It’s ok to feel dirty here.

Much of the descriptive dialog is intentionally vague, clipped and stilted to appease the production code. The audience is forced to make up our own mind what the situation is. Maybe Gigi is being groomed to be a proper lady rather than a woman who shares a rich man’s bed in exchange for lavash dinners and fancy jewelry. But, nope. The latter.

I find myself comparing this film with My Fair Lady, which has a similar theme of a old rich man grooming a too young girl. A big difference is that both characters here are more likable than in Lady. While Lady’s Higgins was unkind and lacked a proper character arc, Gaston was clearly a good person. He is looking for someone who is interesting and fun to be around. Someone who doesn't bore him. He is kind to Gigi and when he realizes his feelings, the moment is impactful.

I am somewhat embarrassed to say I enjoyed Gigi. I liked the characters and rooted for them. I can't side step the grooming of an underage girl aspect (and a family friend, no less), but my reaction is what it is. The musical numbers, while not super memorable, were much shorter than in Lady. AMRU 3.5.

Bell Book and Candle (1958)

Hot witch Gillian (Kim Novak) is bored and wants to meet her elderly neighbor Shep (James Stewart). When she learns that he is soon to marry a hot mortal, she uses magic to intervene.

Lovers meet, lovers love, lovers part with hard feelings, lovers reunite through grand gesture. Roll credits. The Rom Com formula is like clockwork. You can set your watch by it. The key to its success is how much we believe in the romance, and how much we like the characters. While Novak’s Gillian is mostly emotionless (witches can’t cry, you understand) and her interest in twice-her-age Stewart is somewhat confounding, we do become invested in their story.

Jack Lemmon was at his prime as Gil’s somewhat mischievous brother. Elsa Lanchester was great as her batty aunt. Hermione Granger .. I mean Gringots ...I MEAN GINGOLD was also delightful. Janice Rule played the young woman Gil had to steal Shep away from. I remembered her from a Twilight Zone episode.

One functional complaint of the movie is that we aren’t to sympathize with the undeserving girlfriend. See Susan Hayward’s shrewish and tragic bride-to-be in I Married a Witch. She was both beautiful and wonderfully unsympathetic. Here we are told why Rule’s character isn’t nice, but we don’t actually see it. I felt sorry for her.

Enigmatic comedian Ernie Kovacs was understated as an author of books on witchcraft. His unconventional and sometimes controversial comedic style made him a legend with comedians, but because much of his television work was lost, he is all but forgotten by audiences today. He died in a car accident less than four years later, and ten days before his 43rd birthday.

Beautifully filmed, well acted, visually stunning, very charming, and amusing when it needed to be, Bell Book and Candle (no commas!) is delightful. It was, along with I Married a Witch, a principle inspiration for Bewitched. AMRU 4. Elizabeth Montgomery was hot. Ask your dad.

“Shep, you just never learned to spell.”

Touch of Evil (1958)

A car carrying a rich old man and his hot young girlfriend, driving over the US-Mexican border, blows up killing them both. On the scene is Vargas (Charlton Heston), an educated, politically connected (totally non-rapist) Mexican police detective. He works with fat, sloppy American police captain Quinlan (Orson Welles) to solve the murder. At this time his hot anglo wife (Janet Leigh) starts being harassed by family members of the people Vargas has been prosecuting. Things get complicated.

This movie could be about finding the bomber, or about the crime family tormenting the hot Leigh, but it’s really about the culture clash between two nations so close to each other, and the prejudice that permeates their relationship. Quinlan is suspicious of Mexicans and disrespects Vargas, the Mexican crime family has a complicated relationship with America, and the Vargas’ themselves are torn between both worlds. All this in the late 50’s.

Heston agreed to the role because he thought Welles was going to direct. When he found out that the director hadn’t been selected yet, he insisted on Welles, and the studio agreed. It was Welles’ presence that also convinced Leigh to accept the roll, despite the low pay.

Upon completion the studio chopped up the film in editing. Welles was upset, and wrote a 58 page letter to the studio head. The version I saw was a recreation of Welles’ original vision, as can be determined from his letter.

The movie features Dennis Weaver (Gunsmoke, McCloud) in an early role. Zsa Zsa earned a bit part by being the producer’s boyfriend. Marlene Dietrich had a small but important role, and if you blinked you’d miss Welles buddy Joseph Cotten’s cameo.

Touch of Evil is a brave film, confronting racism head on. It’ll be remembered as having a Mexican played by Red Blooded, US ‘Merican Charlton Heston with a US ‘Merican accent, but its message that citizens on both sides of the border can be despicable and honorable alike may have been lost otherwise. The difference between art and craft is that craft needs to know we are ready to accept change while art tells us we must. The problem with putting minorities in lead roles is that studios want established stars, and until there is a large pool of established leading man minorities, it is hard to get the studio on board with hiring them. Catch-22. Maybe, in some small way, Touch of Evil slightly acclimated 50’s audiences to considering a lead minority. Either way, putting an unknown Mexican in the lead may have resulted in the film not being made, or at least not seen very much. At any rate, I find it easy to forgive the whitewash casting because of the its progressive message. AMRU 4.

“She don’t look Mexican either.”

Attack of the Puppet People (1958)

Loopy doll maker hires a new secretary. She isn't interested because he seems to think his dolls are real people. He begs her to take the job because ... it's the fifties.

She confesses her suspicions to a salesman who laughs in her face. They date (because that makes sense) and shortly after he proposes, he mysteriously disappears. Just like a bunch of other people. After she accuses her boss of turning people into dolls, he shrinks her and adds her to his collection. See, he wasn't crazy. Just lonely.

Well crafted, well paced, predictable, unimaginative, uninspired, watchable. You know what would have made this better? If the puppet people actually attacked something. Or if the scene in the poster took place. Or threw a hint of sexual perversion, or cold war fear, or drama, or action. A well crafted baloney on white is still a baloney on white. Hey, sometimes I get hungry.

A key element in any Sci-Fi film is the hardware. Sounds harsh, but for the most part that's true. Puppet People has hardware, but it's barely described. There was the analogy to how a projector makes images larger, but Willie Wonka did a better job on the exposition.

Director Bert Gordon took a break from making giant-people movies to make a little-person movie, but has our protagonists go to the drive-in to see one of his films. Anything else interesting here? Nope. Maybe I'd say John Agar deserved a better movie, but let's face facts. This was right in his wheelhouse. AMRU 3.

Horror of Dracula (1958)

Amateur vampire sleuths Harker (Nobody) and Van Helsing (Peter Cushing) look to end the reign of the evil count.

You know the basic premise. Here, we mix up the characters (Harker is betrothed to Lucy and Mina is married to Arthur) change the details (Transylvania? Never heard of it), lose Renfield, and film it in color. Now Drac has fangs and there is blood to spurt. No ta-tas like in later Hammer films, but it's a start.

Despite the campy feel, I liked this complete reinterpretation of the story. So many of these films are unofficial remakes anyhow, it's nice when it's done well. Fairly well, anyhow. And because it was such a departure from the classic story, you tend to throw the book comparison conversation out the window from the get-go. Christopher Lee makes for a better than average count, starting off as the dashing and mysterious type before showing himself to be the fiend he is.

Hmmm ... what more to say .... The title was changed from simply Dracula in America for the best reason I've seen so far: Bela's classic was still bouncing around theaters and they wanted to avoid confusion. I accept that. Arthur is played by Michael Gough, whom dedicated readers may remember from Horrors of the Black Museum but actually from Batman. Gosh, that's about it. AMRU 3.5.

Macabre (1958)

Townsfolk blame a doctor (William Prince) for the death of his wife. They say he was drunk. The dead wife's sister (daughters of the town's richest man) has also died young and the calls for 'oll Doc Barrett to head on out reach fever-pitch. Doc's daughter turns up missing then his secretary receives a strange call saying that she is with the dead and has five hours before she suffocates. The frantic search begins.

Everyone is a suspect. Is the motive revenge? Inheritance? Or ... no, it's one of them two, almost certain. Anyhow, details emerge and new questions are raised. The suspects include the doctor's secretary, his new fiancee, the cop (played all butch by Thurston Howell himself), the undertaker, the baker, the candlestick maker ... the list goes on.

This is William Castle's first gimmick-horror. A $1000 life insurance policy was given to every participant in case they died of a fright (and that does play into the story). I'm sure Lloyd's of London had no problems issuing such a policy as Macabre is almost entirely unscary. The story plays out as a who-done-it (or, more accurately, a who-doin'-it) and falls closer to mystery/thriller than horror, but let's not split hairs.

TMC ran a bio of he man then featured this gem. He finally got to make the kind of movie he wanted to and had to mortgage his house to do so. It was a huge hit. He would go on to make a host of cheesy money-makers that I will eventually see.

So, how does the mystery/thriller work? Well, it does keep you guessing, but in the end it'll leave true mystery fans unsatisfied. For me, I found it well worth the investment in time. AMRU 3.

It! The Terror from Beyond Space (1958)

Curious where "Beyond Space" is? Apparently, it's on Mars.

In the futuristic date of 1973, an expedition crashes on Mars. The only survivor is Colonel Carruthers (Marshal Thompson), who is accused of murdering the rest. They send a second expedition to Mars for the purpose of bringing Carruthers back to stand trial. Sounds reasonable.

They collect Carruthers and start their trip back to Earth. There he details his air-tight alibi: the crew was killed by an evil monster from the mist. Nobody believes him. Until members of this crew start disappearing.

When the air lock was open, they apparently picked up the most horrible of terrors: man in a rubber costume. He hides in the cargo hold using the most advanced of camouflage techniques: duck behind boxes.

Well, it's good to see that in our distant future, women have earned the right to perform such important tasks, like to clean up after the men, pour them coffee, and comfort them after they do battle with the nasty monster. Viva liberation!

Not much of a movie. I vacillated between 2.5 and 3, but in the end I decided to be generous. It was kinda fun. And short.

The Fly (1958)

Pretty Helene (Patricia Owens) kills her loving husband, but why? Francois (Vincent Price), the deceased's brother, wants to know. What follows is less sci-fi horror and more Victorian mystery. Finally, Helene is tricked into telling the story that we all know, whether or not we saw this or the many, many sequels and remakes.

But if not, I'm going to ruin it for you right here: Scientist Andre (David Hedison) is working on a machine to teleport matter. Refusing to experiment on animals, even insects, he jumps in himself. Unbenounced to him, a humble fly accompanies him in the chamber and their molecules are mixed up. Andre sports an inconveniently large head and creepy arm and somewhere out there is a little fly with a little human head. How cute.

Wifey goes crazy trying to find the fly in hopes of sending them both back through and straightening this matter out. But, sadly, time runs out and Dashing doctor bug-head is slowly being taken over by his insectoidal instincts. His last wish is to be killed and his body destroyed so nobody ever learns what happened. Good wifey crushes the good doctor in an industrial press. What a way to go.

The movie contains a total of two scenes that profess true horror lineage. The moment Helene sees her husbands true condition, and the subsequent shot of her in multi-part compound image format, and the climax scene in the spider web (Help meeeeeeee! Help meeeeeeeee!). Just about everything else is, as I said earlier, Victorian mystery. That said, if you didn't know the story (and, now you apparently do), the impact would have been significant. As for a modern viewer's reaction, it is well worth watching. Well made, well acted, and a true cultural icon. AMRU 3.5.

Monster on the Campus (1958)

I requested Tarantula, but what I got was a three disk set of five classic Universal sci-fi and horror. Clearly the dog of the bunch was Monster on the Campus.

Dashing professor Donald Blake (Arthur Franz) convinces the university to purchase a coelacanth, which he alternatingly pronounces Sea-locanth and Sil-ocanth. Unbeknown to our dear professor, this freak of evolution was preserved using gamma radiation! The same stuff David Banner would experiment with years later! When a frat dog drinks the blood of this fish (ew!) he reverts back to an earlier evolutionary stage. For a while. Then he's fine.

Our good doctor decides to carry the fish by putting his hand into it's mouth, thus cutting himself. Then when he tries to move the box filled with foul fish water (irradiated prehistoric fish blood water), he puts his injured hand RIGHT INTO THE SCUM! Good going, captain cross-contamination! Maybe wash the hand? No, you've go to go straight to a formal event. No time to shower.

When he starts feeling ill (I'm starting to feel ill myself), a hot assistant drives him home. Then a strange metamorphosis overtakes him! He becomes a violent idiot wearing a rubber mask! Well, he wakes up and the assistant is dead and he has no memory.

I could tell you about the second time he stupidly contaminates himself and causes another death, but we can take it as read, can't we? This is a Universal picture directed by Jack Arnold, so we might think it's a well made thriller. We would be wrong. It's title may lead us to believe it's chuck full of campy goodness, but no such luck. The only students that have speaking rolls are Troy Donahue as a vacant frat boy and his bland girlfriend. This movie is a stinker.

Testimony to this movie's staying power is that it took me twenty minutes into it to realize that I had seen it already only a couple years ago. It was on my public domain horror set. I remembered little except the Doctor Jekyll meets Professor Darwin subject matter.

Sub par acting for Universal, sub par script, stupid story line, god-awful special effects. I've seen worse, but I expected so much more. AMRU 2.5.

The Hidden Fortress (1958)

I picked up this movie for two reasons. One was because it was made by Akira Kurosawa, the second because it was recommended by my good buddy Leo. His recommendation alone wasn't the key. He's been hit or miss so far. It was because he claimed this was a primary influence for Star Wars. Being a Star Wars geek from way back, I had to take a look.

Two inept peasants are trying desperately to profit on an ongoing war. They narrowly escape death, but are still broke. Then they discover two things. Gold hidden inside sticks, and a Samurai whom they don't trust. The three come to a tenuous alliance to help get the gold out of the war zone and to split it. What the two peasants don't know, is that the Samurai is also smuggling out the Princess of the conquered nation.

What follows is a comic adventure. Toshiro Mifume plays the domineering Samurai. Perhaps you remember him as the drunk from Seven Samurai. The peasants constantly bicker and never truly understand what's going on around them. Samurai Makabe doesn't trust them beyond trusting their greed.

Fun, interesting, and watchable for my sons, but not the Tour de Force that Seven Samurai was. My Star Wars crazy boys couldn't see Star Wars in the story (one guessed the Samurai was supposed to be Han Solo), but the truth is that the only influence was that the story was told through the eyes of the two lowest characters. All other similarities are purely coincidental. AMRU 3.5.

The Seventh Voyage of Sinbad (1958)

Sinbad is one awesome sailor! At the brink of exhaustion, he navigates his ship to the island of Colossa, where the crew relax for some R&R. Unfortunately, there's this grumpy cyclops who pays them a less than friendly greeting. While bravely running away from the giant, scary monster, they rescue a mysterious wizard who seems totally trustworthy!

They all return to Baghdad where they enjoy themselves in the green zone and plan Sinbad's wedding to Princess Parisa. It seems that Mr. Wizard dropped his lantern-thingie during the rescue and wants Sinbad to raise an army to return to Colossa and defeat the evil cyclops. Sinbad and his kin politely tell him to go pound sand.

Next morning, the hot Princess Parisa wakes up fully refreshed and about three inches tall. Mr. Wizard says the only cure needs the shell from a Roc, which can only be found on the island of Colossa. Hmmm ...

In addition to the roc and cyclops there is a dragon, a skeleton, and other stop-motion fun. Sinbad was obligatory after watching Jason a couple weeks earlier, and it didn't disappoint. I think Jason was a bit better, but I am glad I watched it. My boys are too. AMRU 3.

One note about the hot princess. She was played by the hot Kathryn Grant, who became better known as Kathryn Crosby after marrying some old duff named Bing. She was thirty years his junior and called him a male chauvinist pig after he died. She has since remarried and has had more work done to her face than a strip club bar stool.