Cleopatra (1934)

Beleaguered by Rome, Queen Cleopatra (Claudette Colbert) shores up power by seducing Cesar (Warren William). When his reign is cut short (spoiler alert!), she pivots to Marc Antony (Henry Wilcoxon). Things don’t go well for him either.

Director Cecil B. DeMille wanted to produce a version of Cleopatra for the common man, and by all accounts he succeeded. Loads of pre-code sex, corny and awkward dialog, Busby Berkeley-esque cinematography, it was quite the spectacle. Impressively one of three Colbert films nominated for Best Picture, but they did nominate twelve that year. She would strike pay dirt with It Happened One Night.

In preparation for the production, DeMille screened the 1917 version. Three and a half years later, that print was destroyed, making this the oldest surviving version of the story. To flaunt the Motion Picture Production Code, he included as much sex as he could get away with, including an opening featuring a slave girl who appears to be naked to those inclined to believe she is.

C. Aubrey Smith crafted a career playing the “elderly Englishman”. He managed to appear in 110 films, including some pretty good ones, despite being past fifty when his career began. Here he was an elderly General. Antony’s Wilcoxon would later achieve immortality as the Bishop in Caddyshack. Well, maybe immortality isn’t the right word.

Cleopatra is an interesting, if peculiar watch. The dialog is, by design, jarringly informal. The Oscar-winning cinematography is still impactful, but limited by the format of the day. Look for the impressive crane long take. AMRU 3.

“What? Have you heard of Cleopatra?
Of course. All kinds of things. Is she black?”

The Count of Monte Cristo (1934)

Edmond Dantes (Robert Donat) is framed for conspiring against the King and imprisoned for twenty years. With the help of another prisoner, he tunnels to freedom, finds buried treasure, and plots his revenge.

At first glance I didn’t recognize any credited names, not even the studio (Reliance Pictures). But on closer inspection I realized that Donat was the lead in The 39 Steps. Also principal villain Louis Calhern’s name should have been more familiar to me, having appeared in some big films, everything from Notorious to Duck Soup. He was once married to Lovey Howell.

Nineteenth century pulp adventure stories aren’t exactly my thing but I wasn’t completely unfamiliar with the story. I had difficulty at first keeping the characters straight, but soon the story focused on the few that matter. While not compelling, the story was interesting enough and well paced. Some of the scenes, particularly the underwater and ocean voyage scenes, were impressive considering the era. I am a little surprised the Academy didn’t nominate it for anything. AMRU 3.

The Black Cat (1934)

A young, newly married couple (David Manners and Julie Bishop) honeymoon in Hungary when they meet up with the creepy Dr. Vitus Werdegast (Bela Lugosi). They share a carriage ride that crashes in the rain. So, creepy doctor, creepy assistant, and our young couple walk to the creepy house of the creepy Poelzig (Boris Karloff). Our creeps have a backstory that involves a prisoner of war camp that stood exactly where the creepy house now does. Oh, and something about stealing Vitus’ wife and daughter. And there’s this deal where Vitus is terrified of cats. Black cats, specifically.

Based on the title of the Poe story of the same name, The Black Cat bears no resemblance to the source material. Fans may remember Manners as the dashing leading man from Dracula and The Mummy films. He also played supporting characters in better films. His lack of real acting talent encouraged him to leave Hollywood before he reached forty. Fans might not remember Julie Bishop or Jacqueline Wells, or Diane Duval, or whatever other name she acted under. I had never seen her in anything before. This is the first of eight films starring the two biggest names in horror at the time (Boris and Bela, that is), and was a huge commercial success despite, or maybe because of, its controversial, satanic themes.

What a weird-ass film! Not too sure what to make of it. Director Edgar G. Ulmer was becoming recognized for his work when he started seeing the wife of a studio producer, who also happened to be the nephew of Carl Laemmle himself. Maybe it was that, or just being a strange dude, but he walked away from his contract and concentrated on independent projects. He would later do The Man from Planet X and Detour.

Strange tone, ambiguous story elements, and reasonably short. If you are looking for a good, atmospheric early horror film other than the biggies, and before they became parodies of themselves, The Black Cat fits the bill. AMRU 3.5.

“Come, Vitus. Are we men or are we children? Of what use are all these melodramatic gestures? You say your soul was killed, that you have been dead all these years. And what of me? Did we not both die here in Marmaros 15 years ago? Are we any the less victims of the war than those whose bodies were torn asunder? Are we not both the living dead? And now you come to me, playing at being an avenging angel, childishly thirsting for my blood. We understand each other too well. We know too much of life. We shall play a little game, Vitus. A game of death, if you like…”

The Man Who Knew Too Much (1934)

Clumsy and awkward, even Hitch himself said it was the work of a talented amateur. The 1956 remake is much more polished and Hollywood-ized causing many to prefer the original. You’ll hear my opinion after I see the remake. And you read it out loud. Because, you know, voices. Like many films that fall into the public domain, the audio and video quality suffers. I turned the sound all the way up and tolerated the pop and hisses. Also, I had some difficulty following which character was which. It became easier once that person was shot. Oh, spoiler alert.

The story, in a nutshell, is a family is on vacation and befriend a man who turns out to be a spy. He is shot and quickly tells mom about some super secret information in his hotel room. Dad finds it but British intelligence and bad guys are wise. M5 pressures mom and dad to give up the info but they won’t because the baddies have kidnapped their annoying little girl. So, Dad becomes an amateur sleuth to save the day.

Man, a little over the top with the British politeness thing. Lot’s of “Terribly Sorry” and “Not quite”’s of pre-WWII England. Not a mystery, exactly, because we pretty much know who the bad guys are. We don’t know their plan, but I must admit I’m not sure I recall what it was even now. This was Peter Lorre’s first English speaking role. When he met with Hitch he smiled and nodded through the meeting because he didn’t understand English. He learned his lines phonetically.

When comparing this film with his own 1956 remake he said this was “the work of a talented amateur and the second was made by a professional." Clearly rough but somewhat charming and definitely British, the second was a Hollywood production through and through. The Man Who Knew Too Much was likable but forgettable and sometimes hard to follow. Unless you find a copy of a fully restored version, consider skipping it. AMRU 2.5.

It's a Gift (1934)

Harold Bissonette (W.C. Fields) is a hen-pecked grocery store owner who aspires to own an orange grove in California. He gets that opportunity when a rich relative dies.

That's all we need about the story. Mostly, it's a vehicle for Fields' comedy and the story is secondary. Considered to be his best movie, I have to say that fact doesn't motivate me to seek out much more of his work. What was funny, was funny, but the bits that failed, were tedious. In one scene Fields' character is trying to get some sleep on a porch swing and is constantly interrupted by neighbors, milk men, insurance salesmen, and Baby LeRoy. That's a scene that could have been shortened by about a century.

Speaking of LeRoy, how did this three year old get star billing? Who's idea was that? Hard times indeed when you are washed up in Hollywood by age four. I didn't expect Fields to be dominated by an overbearing wife. That wasn't my image of him. Well, I'm not going to spend a lot of time with this one. I liked the parts I liked and it was nice to see a W.C. Fields movie, but overall, AMRU 2.5.

Norman: What's the matter, Pop? Don'tcha love me anymore?

Harold: [he raises his hand to hit Norman] Certainly I love you.

Amelia: Don't you strike that child!

Harold: Well, he's not gonna tell me I don't love him.

Maniac (1934)

I had free time after work and was too tired to do any reading. I popped in a disk from my public domain horror collection and watched Maniac. The greybeard scientist is working on his plan to reanimate dead tissue. Apparently he watched Frankenstein a couple years earlier and wanted to do exactly that. 

Dr. Meirschultz's Ygor is a vaudeville actor named Maxwell who is wanted by the police. His specialty is impersonations and here he is impersonating an actor. Seriously. The actor was apparently a makeup artist in his only acting role. Meirschultz needs a body to do a full scale experiment and has Max impersonate the coroner to gain entry to the morgue. Max is worried but agrees.

Is this supposed to be a comedy? The script is bad but the acting is among the worst I've ever seen. And that is saying something! "Once a ham, always a ham!" 

In the morgue they find what they are looking for: a young hottie who committed suicide by carbon monoxide poisoning. The undertaker, believing Maxwell as the coroner, makes some risque comments. The body is brought back to the lab. 

Time for the next step. Need to find a body with a shattered heart and replace it with a throbbing prop he has in a jar. Meirschultz had a great idea! He tells Max to kill himself and promises to bring him back from the dead. Nope, no red flags there. Instead Max kills his mentor. 

Here the story becomes a little disjointed. Max impersonates Meirschultz, a woman arrives seeking help for her schizoid husband and sees the body, schizoid husband goes berserk and carries reanimated hottie (who's goodies are briefly visible) off to a park to do the Zombie Mambo. Max's wayward wife learns that Max has inherited a fortune and seeks him out. Max sinks lower and lower into insanity while scenes from crazy-weird silent films are superimposed over him. 

And quite frankly, so do I. This film is nuts. There are montage scenes where it is implied Max/Schultz molests a woman (who's goodies are briefly visible). Oh, right, this is Sex Maniac, the exploitation film. Now I remember. 

Oh, and the cat fights. There are several scenes where cats are fighting each other, chasing mice, and being all around annoying. In one scene they tied a cat and dog together to make them really go at it. Charming. Don't get be started about the crazy cat man. All this was brought together at the end when the schizoid's wife and Max's wife have a cat fight of their own. There may have been a little boobage there as well. 

The schizoid's wife, by the way, was played by Phyllis Diller. Not THE Phyllis Diller, just a Phyllis Diller. I wonder if the original run time was longer. What I saw was just under 51 minutes and there were jump cut scenes that may have contained more naughty bits. There is a fully restored version but I won't be looking it up. 

The film was loosely based on Poe's The Black Cat and written by the director's wife. Imagine that. "Honey, I want to do a sex film. Could you write it for me?" There was another Poe reference, when The Murders in the Rue Morgue was mentioned. 

I kinda enjoyed the film but you can't get around the fact that it was a really poorly made film. The dialog was poor, the acting was terrible, the best thing I can say is the sets were good. The weird montage scenes were interesting if for no other reason that because they were so unique. In the final analysis, I can't truly say I'm glad I watched it. AMRU 2.5. Watch it for yourself.

The Ghost Walks (1934)

A playwright wants to present his latest play to a producer and somehow convinces him to drive to his remote mansion on a dark and stormy night to read it. His man-secretary is along for the ride. They get stuck in the road and have to walk to a nearby spooky mansion. Stop me if you've heard this one before.

Strange things are a-foot. Writer Prescott Ames has a history in the house and at dinner, we learn a murder happened there ten years earlier, that very night. The lights go out, a ghost makes an appearance, and the widow disappears! Guess what. Mr. Ames is putting his producer friend (and his closeted secretary) on. This is HIS house, and they were all actors treating them to act 1 of his play. Oh, wait. Spoiler Alert! Was I too late on that?

Producer and secretary find a room ... I mean find the script and realize they were played. No longer frightfully fearful, they go back downstairs to enjoy the show. The actors fess up to the deception, but when they find the poor widow, she actually is dead! Producer and BFF don't believe them.

A guard from a sanitarium (of course) arrives saying a homicidal maniac is on the loose. Then we learn the house has a history of murder, and the eyes in the painting come alive and look at people and, well, they pull out just about every cliche in the book. The actors run around like mad and the producer and his guy-pal snicker, thinking it's all a gag.

This movie is old enough that the scare devices were fairly new, if not original. And for the title, well, there was kinda a ghost. I suppose he was walking. Other people totally walked. Had to. The car was stuck.

I'm torn on what to give it. Clearly it wasn't "great". The audio and video quality ranged from poor to pitiful. I hate to condemn it for that reason, but I simply cannot enjoy a movie I can't hear and barely see. Right now I give it a 2.5. Watch it for yourself.

It Happened One Night (1934)

Clark Gable was loaned out to 'Poverty Row' studio Columbia as punishment for being difficult. Myrna Loy turned down the lead because she didn't want to be in another movie set on a bus. Lead actress Claudette Colbert called it the worst movie of her career and refused to go to the premiere. Then this low budget picture won Best Picture, Director, Screenplay, Actor, and Actress. The first film ever to win all five big awards. Columbia was Poverty Row no longer.

Colbert runs away from her rich daddy to be with sugar-daddy husband in New York (Daddy is trying to get it annulled), Gable is a fired newspaper reporter looking to get work again. They meet up in a bus station. She (the prodigal Babe-in-the-Woods) needs help getting to New York and he needs a story. They agree to help each other, sorda.

Claudette Colbert was cute as a spoiled heiress, but after seeing Myrna Loy in The Thin Man, I wonder if Loy could have been even better. Remembered as being the first "screwball comedy", I'd classify it as a romantic comedy by today's standards. Friz Freleng is said to have pattern some of Warner Brother's cartoon characters after Gable and others.

Clever, witty, fun, this movie is a treat. I must see it again, and in fact, I did. I returned it late just so that my wife could watch it. She liked it as well. AMRU 4.

The Thin Man (1934)

Myrna Loy, William Powell, Maureen O'Sullivan, and a very young Cesar Romero (Ya know, the Joker ...)

I knew of this film, but little about it. Witty, urbane, this movie was quite a surprise. Recently married Nick and Nora Charles stumble upon a mystery when visiting New York. Nick was a  detective prior to meeting Nora, so she urges him to help. She thinks it'll be fun. And fun it was.

A commenter on IMDb called it the booziest movie in Hollywood, and they may be right. Like how some old movies feature a ton of smoking (Maltese Falcon, anybody?), this was a non-stop drink-fest. Not just the main characters, but many of the background characters as well. It makes me thirsty just thinking about it.

But the success to this film lies in the great dialog (Nick: I'm a hero. I was shot twice in the Tribune. Nora: I read where you were shot 5 times in the tabloids. Nick: It's not true. He didn't come anywhere near my tabloids) and the chemistry between Powell and Loy. So fun and charming they were on screen together, it spawned five sequels. I can't wait to see the rest!

I give it 4.5 AMRU's!