Bedazzled (1967)

Stanley (Dudley Moore), a pathetic short order cook, is in love with a waitress (Eleanor Bron), but is too shy to ask her out. When he fails to commit suicide, he is approached by the devil (Peter Cook) and is offered a deal for his soul.

Stanley Donen, director of much more polished films, turned down Hello, Dolly! to work on this one. Written by the comedy team of Pete and Dud, it is mostly an extension of their BBC show. A riff on the Faust legend, Stanley is granted seven wishes he uses to win the affection of the pretty-ish Margaret. Unfortunately, the devil cannot be trusted.

The film has a low budget feel. Moore and Cook were not accomplished actors at that point and the audio wasn’t quite right. However the inventiveness of the comedy wins the day. There are some legitimate laugh out loud moments. Also, seven minutes of Raquel Welch, hot off her success in Fantastic Voyage and One Million Years BC, doesn’t hurt. Rest in peace, Raquel. I thought you'd live forever.

Bedazzled is mostly a collection of vignettes, Stanley’s seven wishes, connected by a larger narrative. While some moments are tedious and outright cringy, much is original and genuinely funny. Cook makes for a charming devil and Moore is likable as the hapless romantic. AMRU 3.5.

One Million Years B.C. (1966)

Our story begins One Million Years B.C., or 1,001,966 years before the films release, which is an oddly specific date. As the narrator says, this is when the Earth was just beginning. The Earth is 4,543,000,000 years old, so this was when it was a mere 4,541,998,034 years old, which too is an oddly specific date. So, actually, the story begins with us completely dispensing with the idea of it making any scientific or logical sense.

The Rock Tribe, peopled with brunettes, is brutal and warlike. Our hero Tumak is cast out of the tribe during one of their nonsensical grunting and grabbing ceremonies. He finds a cave with water and some sort of indoor pine tree that produces edible fruit, but he has to leave when the Morlocks come. Later he stumbles onto another tribe. Not sure what they were called. The narrator had given up by then. They carried shells with them, so let's call them the SHELL tribe! Yea, that works.

Anyhow, the Shell Tribe is peopled by blonds who make their cave comfortable and inviting. Totally interior decorators, these people are. They are nice and treat this injured new human. He can't stop his grunty and grabby ways, so off he goes with hot Loana (Raquel Welch) in tow. Have we heard this before? Why yes, as it is a remake of the 1940 One Million B.C., a film with basically no dialog, and the story was copied almost verbatim! They added a few more monster fight scenes, and had the talents of Ray Harryhausen, but the end result was amazingly similar.

So, the question is, did this film need to be remade? All it added was color, slightly better effects, and more cleavage. Otherwise it was quite dull. But let's hand it to Hammer Films. It was a HUGE money maker and movie poster is absolutely iconic. Although noticed in Fantastic Voyage, this was this film that made Raquel an international sex symbol.

Having seen the original, I felt I needed to see the remake. Maybe I would have liked it more had the order been reversed, but that's not what happened. Raquel's boobies not-with-standing, this is a fairly uninteresting movie. AMRU 2.5.

Fantastic Voyage (1966)

An attempt on the life of a diplomat has left him in a coma. The area of the brain damaged cannot easily be operated on. It's easier, apparently, to shrink down a submarine and crew to microscopic size to make the repairs.

I was mystified how poorly remembered this sci-fi classic is. Until I watched it, that is. It begins with all the techo-cheese of a 60's sci-fi TV show. White noise, spinning tape drives, and, oh yea, that high-tech typewriter. At one point the General walks from fuzzy CRT to CRT to ask a different person on screen what the patient's heart rate or temperature was. Star Trek had a much better grasp on that sort of thing. Still, it ventured into a new realm and showed us something never before seen in the genre: the miracle of the human body at microscopic scale. And what does that magical realm look like? A little like a low rent carnival funhouse.

We marvel at the cast marveling at the miracle of green screen. We gasp in excitement as Raquel Welch is attacked by white blood cells, and the men frantically try to tear them off, mostly from her ample breasts. Every turn a new unexpected challenge awaits. The script was researched well enough that parts were viewed in college medical classes for years.

Fantastic Voyage, while something of a snoozer, did attempt something new, and there is virtue in that. Even if it appears severely dated to modern eyes. Dated, cheesy, and a bit dull, but innovative and slightly smarter than most. AMRU 3.