Dr. Renault's Secret (1942)

Dashing Young Doctor American (Shepperd Strudwick) goes to a small village in France to visit his young hottie fiancee (Lynne Roberts), who lives with her uncle, the mysterious Dr. Renault (George Zucco). Dr. Renault's manservant, the mysterious Noel, meets him at an inn, where they stay the night because the bridge has washed out. Also in attendance is the mysterious Rogell, Dr. Renault's ex-con gardener. A drunk crashes in dashing American's room, so he swaps with him. That night, drunk man is mysteriously strangled. Mistaken identity? The Police think so. So was it the strange Noel or Rogell, the angry ex-con? Or was is somebody ... no, you can rule out everybody else.

Life goes on at Dr. Renault's house and the plot thickens. What is Rogell up to, and what's up with the strange Noel? Dr. Renault seems charming enough. But he has a secret (apart from making crappy cars). A secret so dark, it's worthy of naming the movie after it. What to know what the secret is? You could watch about three quarters of the film, but if you're in a rush, you can just read the back of the DVD box.

Damn! They totally blew most of the mystery out of this film! They suck. But this film didn't. The acting was good, the sets were beautiful, and the sense of atmosphere was wonderful! Exactly what you want from an old B horror film! It was a real treat. It kept you guessing who the real bad guy was until the very end. I don't want to blow any of the story, but I'll say this:

Dashing Young Doctor American is a wuss in a fight. Also his medical specialty is the frontal lobotomy. That's where you correct a personality disorder by sticking an ice pick into someones eye and scrambling their brain. How charming!

J. Carrol Naish plays a nuanced Noel. We're never sure what to think of him. Fear him or feel sorry for him? Can't be sure. I never heard of this movie before I picked it up, but I'm glad I found it. It's everything you want from an old B horror film! AMRU 3.5.

Cavalcade (1933)

Adapted from the popular Noel Coward play, 1933 Best Picture Cavalcade recaps the end of the 19th century up until 1932, through the eyes of a well to do British couple. With them you witness the end of the second Boer War, the death of Queen Victoria, the sinking of the Titanic, the first world war, and the stock market crash. No, wait. They missed that last one.

20-something Diana Wynyard delightfully overacts as Jane Marryot, earning her a best actress nomination. 40-something Clive Brook is her husband. They have two young sons, and a housekeeper played by Una O'Connor. Perhaps you remember her as the housekeeper in Bride of Frankenstein or the housekeeper in Witness for the Prosecution. Here, at 45, she is believable at the end when she is supposed to be "elderly".

Ed, the level-headed son, meets his true love, gets married, then goes on their honeymoon on the Titanic. That didn't work out so well. Joey, the other son, thinks the escalating violence in Europe is simply Marvelous, so he enlists. Mustard gas and trench warfare is so absolutely Marvelous. At a USO show he sees childhood friend Fanny (Una's daughter) for the first time in years and thinks she is simply Marvelous. They strike up a relationship and go about thinking how everything is so Marvelous.

Mom learns of her son's relationship with a housekeepers daughter and doesn't think it very marvelous. All is right when later in the conversation she learns that, just prior to armistice, young Joey has died. Queue dramatic speech, then prat fall to the rug.

Cavalcade ends being cautiously optimistic about the future. Huh. Same year Hitler took power. Well, whatdoyaknow ...

This movie had a lot going for it. The cinematography and sets were truly remarkable and the subject matter was captivating to 1933 audiences. But the movie, for modern audiences, has a lot going against it. The story line is a string of world events that simply don't resonate with someone who knows of Auschwitz and Hiroshima. You never truly relate with the characters. And as this film has never come out on DVD (and I get videos from the library), I had to deal with significant tape hiss. Oh, and the OVER ACTING!

Because of the weak story line and no longer inspiring subject matter, Cavalcade is a snoozer. While I'll never watch it again, I think it would hold up to a second viewing. Throughout much of this movie I was thinking of an AMRU score of 2.5, but in the end I give it a 3. Had there been a fully restored DVD version with a song or two clipped to make the play time a little more reasonable, I would have enjoyed it much more.

The Scarlet Clue (1945)

Ah, America in the 40's. No racial tension to worry about. Charlie Chan is played by a fat white guy in crappy makeup and black chauffeurs are easily spooked. Times were simple then.

It is easy to look at films like these and point in offense, but it does illustrate how far we have come. Besides, Mantan Moreland was funny. He did two "indefinite talk" routines where he and another character cut each other off mid sentence over and over. If you get past the demeaning "jittery negro" shtick, you have to laugh.

But I'm a white dude, so I'm in no position to be offended.

The story is a mystery, of course. There is a plot to steal secret radar plans (WWII, don't forget). The death of a potential witness is linked to a radio and TV studio that operates on the same floor of the same building. Huh? No, that makes sense. Want to run a TV studio, just grab a couple offices next to a military research laboratory.

There's little mystery in this mystery. Not sure who the bad guy is? Wait a bit and he'll be revealed. The only real mystery is the identity Mr. Big, but since there are no clues presented to lead us to their identity, the guessing game is rather pointless.

Still, it was fun. Moreland and Chan's number three son (played by Benson Fong, an actual Chinese actor!) worked great together. And at 65 minutes, it wasn't a second too long. True to Library DVD form, I got three minutes from the end of the film and it skipped to the end. Some light cleaning allowed me to watch the final chapter uninterrupted.

By the way, the title refers to blood. Someone bleeds, and it's a clue. And you thought it was about a board game, did you? AMRU 3.

The Reluctant Astronaut (1967)

Frightfully fearful Don Knotts is Roy Fleming, an astronaut wanna-be who operates the space ride at a fairground. Dad Fleming signs up boy Roy for the space program, but when he gets there he learns he will be a janitor. So as to not disappoint ol' Dad, Roy pretends.

Events, as they typically do, converge such that NASA is forced to send Janitor Roy into space. Insert sequences of Knotts being frightened and foolish. Leslie Nielsen has a supporting role.

I remember this film when I was young, and I remember enjoying it. I watched it with my boys and they were bored. This film was a capitalization on the popularity of the space program and a vehicle for the surprisingly popular Don Knotts. Sad to say, Knotts' humor does not hold up. My middle boy saw The Incredible Mr. Limpet (1964) and was amused, at least a little. All three walked out on it and I don't blame them one bit.

One awkward point was Knotts' pining for cold fish hottie Ellie Jackson (Joan Freeman). Don was 42 when the film came out and looked more like 52. Joan was 25. Eww.

IMDb voters are too kind on this film. Reluctant Astronaut is a dud. AMRU 2.5.

The Bad News Bears (1976)

The intent was to watch classic old films I hadn't seen, not rehash movies from my youth. So much for good intentions.

I saw The Bad News Bears when I was young. I don't know if I saw it in the theater, but I certainly saw it when it was still fairly new. I saw the sequels and the TV series. I was a baseball nut as a kid and still am to a point. I saw it as an adult, maybe ten years ago. I don't remember. I watched it again with fresh eyes, perhaps tainted with nostalgia.

Walter Matthau performance was amazing. He embodied the broken down drunk. But when he starts caring about the kids a slow transformation happens. His eyes, dim from cheap beer and whiskey, become observant. He sees the effect of his actions, and those of others. Unless you pay attention, you will miss it.

Tatum O'Neal was unbelievable. She all but stole the movie. The interaction between her character and Matthau's was classic. Great stuff. You can't not fall in love with her.

The Bad News Bears was the precursor of all youth sports films (Mighty Ducks, Ladybugs, etc.) but this was hardly a family film. Drinking, language, and provocative dialogue from pre-teens. One kid smokes through much of the film. Released today it would be PG-13.

I'll be seeing this movie again. The tired jokes are like old friends. My mature eyes found more to enjoy. I didn't expect to like it as much as I did. Very surprising. AMRU 4.

The Thing from Another World (1951)

Remade in 1982 as John Carpenter's "The Thing", this is the story of a UFO that crashes to Earth near a remote Arctic outpost. The frozen body of an alien is captured, melts, comes to life, then rampages. James Arness (Gunsmoke) plays The Thing, a role he was so embarrassed by, he refused to attend the premiere.

The Thing is a plant-like life form. Yes, they were being attacked by a giant carrot. Everybody is trying to kill it except a crazy scientist who wants to study and befriend it. Damn scientists! Won't they ever learn? Of course wiser heads prevail and they choose the saner plan of extermination. This, I understand, was the first time a full body burn was performed in a major movie.

Our main character is Captain Patrick Hendry, played by Kenneth Tobey. His love interest is the monstrous Margaret Sheridan. I guess there were no hot chicks in Hollywood during the week of casting. I liked this movie. You really got a feeling of the remoteness of the location, and the Thing was wonderfully menacing. Having said that, I can't see watching it again. I give it an AMRU of 3.

Utopia (1951)

Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy inherit an island in the South seas. After most of their inheritance is lost to taxes, they are eager to live a life beholden to no one. They team up with a man who has no legal citizenship and find a stow away with a checkered past, land on a radioactive atoll, find a girl, form their own nation, deal with an uprising ... you what? This sucker doesn't deserve the effort. It blew. 

My first impression was, damn, Laurel and Hardy look old. I tried looking up "Utopia" and had difficulty finding it. Come to find out, It's original title is the captivating "Atoll K". Stan was rather ill during filming, and Oliver, obese by modern standards, was on his last leg. He died six years after the movie was filmed. This was the last film for either of them. 

Another strange thing was that the voices of all characters other than Laurel and Hardy appeared to be dubbed. This film was apparently an Italian effort, so maybe Laurel and Hardy's voices were filmed in English, dubbed for the Italian release, then the reverse was done for the American. It was distracting, at any rate. The production value as a whole was rather low. I originally thought it was filmed in the early 30's. 

I've always known Laurel and Hardy by their images and mannerisms. I was very familiar with their "another fine mess" catch phrase, but I wonder how much of them I actually watched as a kid. Apparently enough, but maybe, like Charlie Chaplin, more so by people impersonating them. I found the comedy bits tired, unoriginal, and unfunny. My 13 year old son watched a bit of it with me and he laughed at some of the physical bits, but I'd seen them before. And done better. By the Stooges, for one. 

Stan Laurel was embarrassed by this movie and I see why. I'm glad I watched a Laurel and Hardy film, but I wish it wasn't this one. It was watchable, but there was little to distinguish it. I might be being generous by rating it AMRU 2.5. 

On the same DVD were a few shorts. I saw their first together, called "The Lucky Dog (1919)", a PSA called "The Tree in a Test Tube (1943)", then something called "The Sawmill (1922)", during which I fell asleep. I believe there were three or four more. Maybe I'll watch them before I return the disk.