2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)

Ooh, this is a tough sell. On the one hand, my son was (prior to his current military obsession) a Sci-Fi nut. And no Sci-Fi film comes close to the pedigree of 2001. One of America's greatest directors teaming with one of the world's greatest Sci-Fi writers have produced arguably the greatest movie in the genre. AFI clearly thinks so. IMdb, for what it's worth, ranks it 13th, but let's face it. IMdb isn't the most scholarly of sources. Besides, two Star Wars movies rank higher despite that they are principally fantasy. Anyhow, Peter and I sat down to watch this monster.

What a wholly unwatchable movie! Now, it was amazingly innovative. They were producing this BEFORE the moon landing and getting a lot of interesting details right. They showed how advanced technology would be actually used by regular people. That stuff was great. So, what is it all about?

Well, there's this giant black block that teaches monkeys to kill each other, then it turns up under the surface of our moon. Trying to figure out what it does, they discover that it is transmitting a signal to a moon of Jupiter. So they send a team armed with an awesomely reliable computer to take a look-see.

Along the way, Astronauts Dave and Frank get this silly idea that HAL is faulty, and decide to shut him down. HAL no likey this idea, so he takes matters into his own ... um ... hands.

Kubrick's 2001 is a magnificent accomplishment. The visual imagery, the choreography, the soundtrack, it's a singular experience. However, from a purely entertainment standpoint, it's an endurance test. The first dialog is spoken 24 minutes into the movie. And the back end, the last half hour or so, well, drink a cup of coffee or two. I nodded off and had to rewatch it.

So, what's it all about? I mean, what is it REALLY all about? What is the ultimate message of the movie? Read the book. It makes some sense and is a lot less tedious. It's an amazingly well crafted movie and intensely influential but, man, AMRU 3 is all I can muster.

"My god, it's full of stars!"

Gilda (1946)

Ah, the character of the Alpha-Female. You know, the Mary from There's Something About and Laura from the same. The larger than life, non-ingenue as the target of desire, object of obsession. Love 'em.

Here, an American down on his luck in Argentina (Glenn Ford) gets held up after winning at craps. He is saved by a strange man in a while suit (George Macready). The strange Ballin Mundson tells Johnny to do his gambling at a local illegal casino but to leave his trick dice behind.

Johnny does so but doesn't leave his cheating ways completely behind. He is brought up to the owner for a dressing down and finds the owner is his strange friend. Johnny fast talks his way into a job. Over time, he gains more trust and responsibility. He is in charge when Ballin goes for a trip. When Ballin returns he introduces his new wife Gilda (Rita Hayworth).

Wow, that's a lot of plot summary, and we only got into about ten minutes of the film. Well, Johnny and Gilda have a past and it didn't end well the last time. How will this play out? A lot of side stories, a lot of confusing dialog, and fun for all ages. I started watching one work night just before netflix was taking it off the streaming queue. I had to stop it about a third into it and needed to see the rest. Netflix saw no need to return it to streaming, so it became my second to last DVD I got from them. The last, by the way, was Black Swan.

Hayworth was born Margarita Carmen Cansino, but underwent ethnicity reassignment surgery to become a whitey-American. During filming she was on her second of five tragic marriages, this time with Orson Welles. She would die at 68 of Alzheimer's.

Taut, well acted, and always interesting, the back two-thirds lived up to the first. IMdb puts it in the Film-Noir genre, furthering my belief that I have absolutely no clue what that means. It was played seriously and there was the element of tragic love (Glenn Ford had five tragic marriages, by the way) and crime played a part, but it wasn't a detective movie. Whatever. AMRU 4.

Johnny Farrell: Doesn't it bother you at all that you're married?

Gilda: What I want to know is, does it bother you?

Gilda: If I'd been a ranch, they would've named me "The Bar Nothing".

Gilda: Got a light?

Uncle Pio: Yes, Mrs. Mundson. It is so crowded here and yet so lonely.

Gilda: How did you know?

Uncle Pio: You smoke too much. I noticed only frustrated people smoke too much and only the lonely people are frustrated.

Bird of Paradise (1932)

What is it with me and movies from 1932? Seriously!

Anyhow, a yacht full of preppies sail to one of those tropical paradises you hear so much about. The natives swim out to to fight over the trash yon white men so graciously dump overboard. A shark invades the party, so our hero (Joel McCrea) decides to make it go away by chumming the waters. He falls in but is rescued by a beautiful native (Dolores del Rio) and falls for her as well.

Well, despite his being rich and blond, and her being brunette and savage; he speaking ivy league, she speaking booga-booga, their attraction grows. Throw into the mix that she is the daughter of the king and was promised to a neighboring prince, things don't look good for our future cowboy.

The main claim to fame for Bird of Paradise is Dolores' nude swim scene, but don't get too excited, though. You can see the seam down her back at one point. She runs around topless save for a lei that stays annoyingly in the way no matter what she does, even while leaning over.

Old pal Creighton also has a small role, but he has no lines and his ugly mug isn't on screen enough to ruin the film. This was back when he was credited with the name he was born with, rather than the one his dad was born with.

All in all, not a terribly interesting movie. It's saving grace is the ending. Slightly less Hollywood than you might expect. AMRU 2.5.

Scarface (1932)

Tony Comonte (Paul Muni), alias Scarface, is a two bit hood on the rise. George Raft is his buddy, Guino, and Ann Dvorak is his creepy looking sister. He murders and back-stabs his way to taking over the south side crime syndicate. Now the north side boss (Boris Karloff) is in his sights.

The movie opens with a disclaimer. They make it clear that the violence depicted is not to glorify gang rule, but as an indictment of it. Porn movies should open with similar words as an indictment of the objectification of women. Yea, that should cover it. The movie is fairly violent, definitely by 1930's standards. They edited it down several times to pass pre-code muster. I'd love to see a director's cut.

Here are a few neat things: the movie had the first ever film depiction of the Tommy Gun. Al Capone, who is intentionally confused the the titular character, loved the movie. He owned a copy. Betamax, I think. Tony and the gang see a play, which I slowly recognize as the source for the mediocre Crawford flick Rain, which came out the same year and by the same studio. Hmmmm.

Well, not much else to say. It kept my interest. Some funny parts, and certainly some historical importance. I pushed it to the top of my list because Netflix said they were taking it away from streaming, but they never did. Whatever. They've been having a lot of PR issues lately. Far be it for me to pile on. Anyhow, I enjoyed it. The best part might have been the look on my wife's face when I told her that I let the kids watch Scarface. AMRU 3.5.

Dr. Strangelove (1964)

or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb.

Brigadier General Jack Ripper (Sterling Hayden) has sent the codes to start a nuclear attack on the Soviet Union, then barricaded himself in his base, and convinced his soldiers that anyone who attacks are Russians. His plan is to provoke a response from the USSR forcing the Pentagon to make the decision to finish the job or else withstand a Soviet retaliation. The foppish British Captain Mandrake (Peter Sellers) tries to talk him down. Sellers also plays the President and the titular doctor.

Yet another movie I knew well, but knew nothing about. I knew it was anti-war, that Peter Sellers played multiple rolls, and that it was a screwball comedy, but that was it. It shouldn't have taken me this long to have seen it.

Theory is that the US military changed some of the procedures to insure this scenario cannot happen, but that sounds like Hollywood hokum to me. Nobody knew what the cockpit of a B52 looked like but there was one published photograph. The set designers concocted what they thought it should look like and apparently weren't too far off. Obviously, the military were not going to offer any assistance.

 

The movie features George C. Scott, a very young James Earl Jones, and Slim Pickens as everyone's favorite cowboy pilot. It's nuanced enough to defy description and funny enough to see a second time. AMRU 4.

"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room!"

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1941)

We know the story. Doctor Jekyll (Spencer Tracy) is experimenting in the true nature of man. The father of his hottie fiancee (Lana Turner) disapproves, but Jekyll can't help himself. Quite by accident he bumps into a low born cockney girl in the street (Ingrid Bergman) and falls deeply in lust. But he is a good man and mustn't allow base instincts take over. So he just kisses her. Nighty-night.

Well, where Jekyll must be a proper gentleman, good friend Hyde has no such requirements. Hyde coerces his concubine into being a kept woman and things slowly get out of hand. Again, you know the story. Tragedy for all.

For the most part, this was a remake of the famed 1931 version rather than the Stevenson work, and suffered the consequence of comparison. Tracy was eager to take the role but was embarrassed by it after fan reaction was rather harsh. Also, Bergman as a cockney barmaid? Hmmm. That's a bit of a stretch. Hotness allows one to get with many crimes and she did have it to spare.

There is one scene where a fevered Jekyll is struggling with his lust for the Bergman character and his duty to his fiancee. He is seen driving two horses, one dark and one white, with a manic expression on his face. Then the horses turn into Bergman and Turner, seemingly topless, with frantic, worried looks on their faces. How's that for slipping it by the sensors? This photo doesn't do it justice, but it's the best I could find.

 

This version was killed by the critics when it was released, but in fairness it's not bad. I haven't seen the Fredric March version yet, so I'll hold off final judgement, but it was definitely worth a look. AMRU 3.5.

 

One final comment about the media. I requested a set of disks from the library and when it was available, I didn't remember what it was or why I ordered it. I discovered that it was a four movie set, two of which were on my see list. This and House of Wax. With both movies, the DVD menu promised that the older version was on the flip side, but the set had Freaks and The Haunting instead. This matched the case, so I'm guessing someone bought the resale rights to the movies and didn't bother to change the menu.

House of Wax (1953)

Professor Jarrod (Vincent Price) is an eccentric artist who runs a mildly successful wax museum. He speaks of his creations as if they were living, breathing people. He lines up a new business partner because his old wants out, but his old partner can't wait. So he burns down the museum for the insurance money. Prof dies in the fire.

After a hair-brained hottie is murdered and her body is stolen from the morgue, the dead Professor Jarrod re-emerges to start a new museum, one that panders to the public's taste for the macabre. Hotties roommate (and new intern's fiancee) notices an usually strong resemblance between her and the new Joan of Arc exhibit. Nobody takes her seriously.

Hair-brained hottie's roommate was played by Phyllis Kirk (no relation to the Captain). She was a delightful damsel in distress here and would go on in four years to be a pitiful excuse of a Nora Charles in the TV version of The Thin Man. Want another pointless Star Trek reference? One of the Can-Can girls would go on to play Yeoman Janice Rand. One of Jarrod's handymen struck me as very familiar. Turns out he was a young Charles Bronson.

This is a remake of 1933's Mystery of the Wax Museum, and the disk menu said that version was on side two, but it wasn't. Same thing happened with another movie in the set.

This, I believe, was Price's first horror role. At least his first staring role. And it's a good one. Low budget, I suppose, but well made. It was filmed in 3D, which is weird because the director had only one eye. It wasn't 3D on my end so I can't say how effective having a yo-yo flung in my face worked out.

Somewhat elevated and understated in style, much like The Fly, I liked it about as much. Won't scare anybody, or surprise them very much, but it won't bore you either. AMRU 3.5.