7 Faces of Dr. Lao (1964)

Stereotype rich bad man (Arthur O’Connell) tries to buy out a small town in the old(ish) west (got to do with where the choo-choo go), stereotype underdog (John Ericson) tries to stop him while wooing stereotype hot spinster (Barbara Eden) for the obligatory romance angle, when they are visited by a strange man (Tony Randall) in stereotype Chinese makeup.

Dr. Lao runs a circus and despite having bigger concerns, the entire town attends. There they learn the lessons of community, the folly of greed, and the necessity of catching a man. Tony Randall plays all seven characters (Chinese stereotype, tiny abominable snowman, Merlin, Greek fortune teller, Pan, snake, and sexy sexy Medusa). The role was intended for Peter Sellers for obvious reasons. Randall’s Dr. Lao falls in and out of accent, making one doubt that he is who he appears.

Produced and directed by sci-fi legend George Pal (War of the Worlds, The Time Machine), 7 Faces wasn’t a financial success. A sequel was announced but never produced. Pal would go on to produce only two more films and never direct again.

There are quite a few interesting character actors here, but I want to mention Lee Patrick. She had a small role in Vertigo but she is memorable as Sam Spade’s secretary in The Maltese Falcon. Here she is memorable as a vain busibody. Also here is Noah Beery Jr, son of Noah Beery and nephew of Wallace Beery. Combined they have appeared in 429 films of which I’ve seen six. He will always be Jim Rockford’s dad to me.

Randall’s characterization  does not age well, but it is hard to know what to make of it. Is he mocking the townsfolk with his over the top accent? Does that even matter? Maybe it’s no Mr. Yunioshi but in no way could you describe his depiction as ‘respectful’.

7 Faces of Dr. Lao isn’t original in many ways except for the fantastical Dr. Lao character and events. It's a pleasant, silly fantasy that is fun to watch, so long you can forgive the obvious. AMRU 3.

The Trouble with Harry (1955)

A retired sea captain (Edmund Gwenn) is out hunting when he discovers the dead body of a stranger he presumes to have accidentally shot. Not wanting trouble, he tries to hide the body. Unfortunately this corner of the forest gets many visitors today, some of which also feel responsibility.

It is said to be Hitchcock’s second comedy, but several of his early films are labeled as such. Either way, this is the first Hitchcock comedy I’ve seen. It was an experiment to see how audiences would react to a film without big stars. Lukewarm was the answer but that may have had more to do with the unexpected tone from The Master of Suspense. More of a dark comedy, there are few real laughs.

The film gives Shirley MacLaine an “introducing” credit which is strange as six year old Jerry Mathers didn’t. He, of course, had already done a fair bit of film and television by that time. The main protagonist was starving artist Sam (John Forsythe) who to me is Charlie of Angels fame. Known mostly for television, he also did a fair number of films.

Nobody feels sorry for dead Harry. And as the story progresses, we learn that we shouldn’t shed too many tears for him. This is key to the comedy. His inconvenient body is dragged around with little regard. Along the way we have not one but two obligatory Hollywood romances, with Santa Gwenn making time with the “well preserved” spinster Gravely. It was downright uncomfortable when the two male leads mention how no man had ever “crossed her threshold”. Well preserved, indeed.

Filmed in VistaVision, The Trouble with Harry looks fantastic. The exteriors were filmed in Vermont but most of the action was filmed on a Hollywood sound stage. They imported boxes of fall leaves. This is a surprising, pleasant diversion. A film I would not have even heard of had it not been for one YouTuber. AMRU 3.5.

“Yes, very well preserved. And preserves have to be opened, some day.”

The Gorilla (1939)

A rich man (Lionel Atwill) in a spooky mansion receives a note saying he will be killed by The Gorilla. He hires the worst detectives in the world to protect him, but is there more going on here?

The Ritz (or Joachim) Brothers were something of a poor man’s Marx Brothers. While prolific in their day, they never saw the same success. They appeared in fourteen films over eight years. If that sounds impressive, consider that their first twelve were released within four years. They used to just stamp these things out back then.

Unlike the Marx Brothers, however, some of their films were not purely Ritz Brother’s vehicles. Instead, the boys acted as comic relief in someone else’s film. And if The Gorilla is any indication, they were also unfunny. What was their comedy like? Think Huntz Hall from The Bowery Boys, with a touch of Shemp Howard, times three. Their jokes were mainly being dumb and doing the exaggerated delayed reaction gag. You know the one.

Luckily the film does not rely on the Brothers. Patsy Kelly, playing a domestic, was quite amusing. Atwill brought significant gravity to his role. Bela Lugosi was kinda wasted as the creepy butler. Peter Lorre, originally intended for the role, might have been a better fit. There was a lot going on with his character that was never explored.

At its core The Gorilla is a spooky mansion mystery/comedy with an ape fetish. The comedy is what it is, and the mystery element does not hold up at all. The filmmakers wanted to pull a twist on an already twisted ending, but none of it made any sense. I don’t think it matters as the audiences were likely checked out of that part of the story.

I shouldn't judge the boys too harshly. This is their lowest rated film. But I think I watched this film out of fear that someone would find out I liked the Marx Brothers, ask if I ever saw a Ritz Brothers film, and I would have to say no. Now I can say yes. Watchable with an occasional giggle. AMRU 2.5.

Bicycle Thieves (1948)

In post-war Rome, Antonio gets a job posting bills. He needs transportation so he hocks his bed sheets so he can unhock his bicycle. On his first day, his bicycle is stolen. The police can’t help, so he and his son go looking for it. Roll credits.

A Hollywood producer would insist there be more story, ridiculously high stakes, some kind of love angle, an unambiguously happy ending. More stuff. Here, the story, that is the story of the bicycle search, is allowed to breathe. The increasing desperation of our protagonist and his relationship with his son, the actual story, is allowed to develop and have real meaning.

The principal actors were complete amateurs. The boy playing Antonio’s son was hired because he was hanging around the set and looked the part. His mom was a reporter sent to interview the director. It was shot almost gorilla style. A scene where young Bruno crosses the street following his father, he is almost hit by a car twice. This was not scripted. It is what happened and the camera caught it.

Earlier in the year I discovered I was becoming tired of generic Hollywood films. I’ve since thrown a few foreign films into the mix. This is the second that falls into the category of Italian neorealism. Post-war Italy was a bleak place and now without the censorship of a fascist government, filmmakers were allowed to tell the stories they wanted to tell.

Compare this to the Hollywood vision. Just five years later they produced Roman Holiday. An excellent film, but with glamour, romance, and a charming and immaculate Rome for the backdrop. Both have their place, but this is the kind of film I've been neglecting.

Although it doesn't seem like it, Bicycle Thieves has a lot going on. People try to help as much as they can, and behave realistically, avoiding the man against the world cliche of American movies. The stakes are high despite not saying it outright. It is an excellent, simple but detailed story. AMRU 4.

Harold and Maude (1971)

Harold is a young rich man with a death fixation. Between childhood and adulthood, his mother and other authority figures control his life. He plays morbid pranks, usually to no reaction. While attending funerals of strangers, he meets Maude (Ruth Gordon), an older woman who changes his life.

Many films of the era tried to tap into the zeitgeist of the youth movement, often with the sincerity and authenticity of an episode of The Monkees. Here, everything is unconventional to the point of subversive, without feeling forced. The values and expectations of the establishment are wonderfully subverted.

Harold and Maude make an unexpected couple, Ruth being fifty one years older than Harold’s Bud Cort. But in the end it becomes a very believable relationship. She is the most unconventional of adults with a healthy relationship with death. She shows him that it is ok for him to be himself, have fun, and not fear the inevitable. There isn’t a moment that doesn’t ring true.

This is a black comedy in the truest sense. But beyond humor, it has heart and a point of view. AMRU 4. Now, if it weren’t for all that Cat Stevens music …

Piranha (1978)

While searching for missing hikers, an investigator and a grumpy alcoholic stumble upon a military research lab breeding hyper aggressive piranhas. Gosh, I hope they aren’t accidentally released to the river!

I listen to only one film-topic podcast: The Movies that Made Me, which I learned about from the YouTube channel Trailers from Hell. The mastermind behind both efforts is director Joe Dante. I’ve seen and liked a few of his films, so I wanted to click a few others off the list. Piranha was one.

I remember Piranha from my youth because I was a huge Jaws (1975) fan. I read the book before the movie was even announced and saw the film several times. I became low-grade obsessed with sharks and were it not for Star Wars (1977), I may have become an oceanographer. Anyhow, any successful subgenre spawns copycats. Even though I saw neither films, Tentacles (1977) and Piranha definitely got my attention.

Some interesting names appear here. Sci-Fi stalwart Kevin McCarthy (Invasion of the Body Snatchers), Keenan Wynn (Dr. Strangelove), Barbara Steele (Black Sunday), and Dick Miller (everything) specifically, some frequent collaborators with executive producer Roger Corman. Oh, yea, this is a Roger Corman film. Despite that, it isn’t too bad.

Originally set to conflict with the opening of Jaws 2, Universal filed a lawsuit against the production company, maybe because it was actually a better film. Steven Spielberg, however, liked Piranha calling it the best of the Jaws rip-offs, and convinced Universal to drop the suit. The $600k Piranha opened two months after the $20m Jaws 2 to better critical reviews.

Piranha is a pleasant distraction. Not a great film and, truth be told, a little confounding in some parts, but overall a well put together movie. It doesn’t try to be too much and it won’t stay with me very long. But it is a pretty good Jaws rip-off. AMRU 3.

I Confess (1953)

A man is murdered late at night and the murder confesses to a young priest (Montgomery Clift) in, well, confession. Because of the sanctity of the confessional, Father Logan can’t tell the inspector (Karl Malden) anything about it. Nor can he explain why can’t answer questions. Or keep from acting very suspicious. He becomes the prime suspect as details connecting him to the victim are revealed. He can’t explain any of that either, of course.

No mystery here. We know the murder and the circumstances very early on. The details of his relationship with a married woman (Anne Baxter) are slowly revealed. An obvious flaw here is how easy it would have been for Father Logan to better explain his situation without lying or violating his oath. Also, did it slip his mind to tell the murderer that you are not automatically forgiven just because you confess? That little point should at least have been mentioned.

Oh, and here’s a dumb little trope. The Inspector is discussing the case with the prosecutor, when he tells an off-screen character to bring the girls in. The old prosecutor's face lights up with an “oooh girls!” look on his face. He is disappointed when two young school girls (witnesses) enter the room. What did he expect to happen there? A surprise mid-day orgy?

Montgomery Clift is a weird leading man, his performance feeling awkward and unnatural. The Method seems to be comprised of equal parts emotional problems and substance abuse. Clift lived a tortured life, dealing with physical, mental, and addiction problems, and racked by gay shame, before falling from Hollywood favor. When Marilyn Monroe calls you "the only person I know who is in worse shape than I am", you know you have problems.

But I promised to discuss Karl Malden. Well, pretty boring dude. Professional, serious, hard working. You know, boring. Well liked, though. He was always going to be a certain kind of actor. Never a romantic lead, but his strong voice landed him roles of authority. He seemed to always play a detective of some sort. He was a staunch defender of Elia Kazan. I guess I over promised.

Still, I Confess is a pretty good lesser Hitchcock. He soon will be onto better work but his craft is evident here. The story is compelling enough to overlook the flaws. And besides, Anne Baxter is adorable. AMRU 3. 24 down, 32 to go.