The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms (1953)

While doing reconnaissance after nuclear testing in the arctic (what could go wrong?) Professor Nesbitt spots a giant prehistoric beast. Nobody believes him at first, but later we follow all the conventions of the genre.

Let’s get this out of the way. 20k fathoms is 120,000 feet, or over three times the depth of the Mariana Trench. I blame Jules Verne. But keep in mind, the beast didn’t come from the ocean. It came from the Arctic ice. Never let logic get in the way of a good movie title, I suppose. Looking at you, Valley of the Zombies.

Inspired by King Kong, it may have been a primary inspiration for Godzilla. This means that our Rhedosaurus beast is the first giant whatzis to be awakened by nuclear testing. While stop motion master Ray Harryhausen worked on Mighty Joe Young four years earlier, this would be his first time as head of the effects department, and he nailed it.

Cecil Kellaway plays the kindly old Paleontologist. That was his type. Most recently I saw him in Harvey. Lee Van Cleef and James Best make brief appearances and Merv Griffin does some voice work. I saw Van Cleef but I missed the others.

The Beast is a very by-the-numbers giant whatzis movie. It plays a little loose with the science but spins an effective yarn. But the important thing is that they didn’t fail with the monster. AMRU 3.5.

Mr. & Mrs. Smith (1941)

Loving couple Ann and David (Carole Lombard and Robert Montgomery) discover that their marriage three years ago was technically invalid. Marital antics ensue.

This is the second film I’ve covered recently where Cary Grant was unavailable for the lead, the first being A Foreign Affair. Oddly I have never covered any of Montgomery’s films. None of his others are even on my radar. Perhaps the only reason why I know him is because he is Elizabeth Montgomery’s dad. He would never work with Hitch again. As for Lombard, she would do only one more film before tragically dying.

The 2005 Pitt/Jolie film was very loosely inspired by this film, but it was mostly a remake of a short lived 1996 Scott Bakula TV show, where it got the espionage/assassin angle. There is also a 2007 TV movie as well as the current Donald Glover vehicle. All of these later properties wisely focused on the action elements.

Lombard convinced Alfred Hitchcock to do this film, or maybe she didn’t. Hollywood stories are to be taken with a grain of salt. While there is humor in many of Hitch’s films, this stands as his only screwball comedy. I support his decision to avoid the genre. Few laughs, little chemistry, wonky ending. If you are looking for this kind of film, consider The Palm Beach Story, Move Over Darling, or even My Favorite Wife. It was just done better. AMRU 2.5.

The Giant Claw (1957)

A civilian electronics engineer (Jeff Morrow) is flying an Air Force jet for some reason and witnesses a giant UFO. It is soon learned that the mystery object is a giant bird, as big as a battleship. Mitch and systems analyst Madam Mathematician (Mara Corday), team up to stop it.

1957 seems to be the year of the giant thing. It saw the release of Monster from Green Hell (wasps), Beginning of the End (grasshoppers), Attack of the Crab Monsters, The Monolith Monsters (rocks), The Deadly Mantis, The Black Scorpion, The Monster that Challenged the World (prehistoric mollusks), as well as two of Bert I. Gordon’s giant man movies. This trend would luckily slow down.

Longtime friends may remember Morrow as Exeter from This Island Earth, a movie I covered … holy crap, fourteen years ago! Our pretty mathematician was quite familiar with giant things that should be small, having also appeared in Tarantula and Black Scorpion.

The Giant Claw follows the convention of the genre. Threat is discovered, after initial disbelief, authorities scramble to neutralize it. A small team is assembled (including a pretty scientist), the threat appears to be invulnerable, Deus ex machina, roll credits. The acting, science, and dialog is all pretty standard, parts of it pretty good. One thing that falls short is the creature.

Filmmakers initially intended on hiring Ray Harryhausen, but budget considerations caused them to go in a different direction. That direction led them to a ridiculous looking marionette. And while it is a shame that the effects tainted what was otherwise an equal to many in the genre, it did make the film uniquely memorable. It would have otherwise been just another competent 50’s sci-fi film, not quite as good as Them!

The Giant Claw is a very watchable flick. The contrast between the seriousness of the actors and the loony puppet is quite amusing. The dialog varies between pretty good to pretty bad. It’s established that Mitch is an electronics engineer maybe a half dozen times, and characters make the battleship comparison I don’t know how many times. AMRU 3.

Thirteen Women (1932)

A “half breed” (Myrna Loy) uses her exotic eastern powers to punish the girls who bullied her back in school.

Loy appeared in The Mask of Fu Manchu the same year, also wearing ‘asian face’. I suppose she was the go-to girl for ‘exotic other’ characters. Hey, it was the 30’s. Our protagonist is played by Irene Dunne, less foolish than the other women. Because of production code edits, thirteen minutes and two of the women landed on the cutting room floor. One whose role was greatly shortened was Peg Entwistle.

Some readers have heard the story of Peg Entwistle, the young British actress whose stardom was cut short by suicide. Days after the release of Thirteen Women, she jumped from the H sign in the Hollywood hills. There is lots of speculation why, but nothing concrete. And the Steely Dan song was likely not inspired by her story.

Thirteen Women is an interestingly weird pre-code film. Shortening to a mere 59 minutes may have had the side benefit of tightening the story and quickening the pace. A lot happens in a very short time. Still, a fully restored version would really be something, if just for the lesbian subplot. AMRU 3.

A Foreign Affair (1948)

A Senate committee travels to post-war Berlin to investigate stories of lax attitudes and inappropriate behavior by US servicemen. Among them is the young Congresswoman Frost (Jean Arthur). She sees our boys buying goods on the black market and chasing German women, but when she learns that someone has been covering for a cabaret singer (Marlene Dietrich) with a Nazi link, she is determined to uncover the truth. She enlists the help of fellow Iowan Captain Pringle (John Lund). Will love bloom?

It’s not a spoiler to reveal that it’s Cap Pringle who’s been covering for singer Von Schluetow. And Cap makes for a pretty poor romantic lead. Our introduction to him is pretty rough and it doesn’t get better. But this is Billy Wilder and he knows how to spin a tale.

Squeaky little Jean Arthur took four years off from filmmaking, and would wait another five for her last film, Shane. She was very charming as the naive and uptight Senator. She and rival Dietrich were both pushing fifty, very unusual for a film of this time. Dietrich, true to form, didn’t think much of her co-stars. She referred to Lund as a piece of petrified wood and Arthur as “that ugly, ugly woman with that terrible American twang". She never did play nice.

So, did A Foreign Affair stick the landing? More or less, I would say. From a story and dialog perspective, it’s not top Wilder. But it’s not too bad either. Good performances (particularly if you like Dietrich’s singing) and the footage of bombed out Berlin were quite striking. AMRU 3.

The Black Cat (1941)

The matriarch of a vast estate is nearing death and her greedy heirs gather to get their share, and maybe help her along. Into this our hero (Broderick Crawford) arrives with a batty antiques dealer (Hugh Herbert) in hopes of making some scratch himself.

Many of the old dark house tropes are on display, including the mysterious last will and testament, secret passages, a crypt, and creepy staff (Bela Lugosi). Creepy atmosphere, however, is undermined by the comedic tone, specifically from Herbert’s Mr Penny character. He would be the comic relief character had there been any tension to cut.

Herbert was a popular comedian of the 30’s and 40’s, and his likeness and distinct mannerisms were lifted by Warner Brothers cartoons. His distinct “hoo-hoo-hoo” was copied by Daffy Duck and inspired Curly Howard’s signature “woo-woo”. Basil Rathbone appears as one of the unpleasant heirs, as does Alan Ladd, whose career was just taking off. Some may remember today’s hero (Crawford) as the heavy in Born Yesterday.

Our hero enters the story uninvited with money as his motivator (and perhaps a little romance), is repeatedly told to leave, and somehow stays around sleuthing for clues. More than a little strange, it’s an awkward story contrivance that could have been addressed at least in part.

The Black Cat shares a title with the Poe story and little else. It’s only a fair mystery because of the precious few clues leading to the villain. Not much of a mystery, not much of a comedy, not at all horror, but somehow watchable. Consider the vastly superior Cat and the Canary instead. AMRU 3. I feel generous.

“Everything here is for the cats, which is why this place is going to the dogs.”

2024 Retrospective

I, like many old people, subscribe to cable. It's what we do. I record things, mostly from Turner Classic Movies, to watch when the mood strikes me. I don’t hoard them. I delete after viewing, but I record faster than I can watch. Much faster. This problem was occasionally “solved” when my rental DVR would crap the bed and I would have to start over. When my cable provider offered me a “cloud” DVR option, I jumped on it.

I didn’t want my year end wrap-up to be a rant, but here we are. On November 12th my cable provider sent an email exclaiming “Your Cloud DVR is getting a future-forward upgrade”. A consequence of this upgrade is that “Content recorded before August‌ 11 will be removed as part of this update”. The benefits of the upgrade, however, are that “Any content recorded after August ‌11 will remain available to you” and “we’re excited about the improvements this update will bring”, so I have that. This mass deletion was scheduled for December 11. Already angry that films were being deleted one year after record, which was not disclosed when I upgraded, I called to complain. That resulted in bupkis.

When the mass deletions did not occur, I was cautiously optimistic. But on January 8th, Cox Communications fulfilled their promise. I had binged a few films before the deadline, but ignoring the films that had already expired, I lost about forty films. Some that TCM seldom runs.

I could, in the future, prioritize films that are approaching the one year mark, and re-record when available, but the only channel I give a crap about is TCM. Paying for a full suite of channels for one doesn’t make sense. There is no streaming equivalent. There is YouTube TV, but they also expire films, sometimes faster than one year. Also their user interface is aggressively terrible.

But one thing I can count on is that this will happen again. Cox Communications hates their customers. About six or seven years ago a truck caught and yanked down overhead wires, cable and power both. Three or four houses lost service. Verizon got my neighbors back online within hours. Several calls to Cox resulted in several promises to have some out there soon. When nobody ever showed, I learned they had no record of my calls and I would be down for the weekend. One ass insisted he could send a signal to my cable box despite the cable lying in the street. At least they promised to prorate my bill for one week. They didn’t, but they promised to.

I realize nobody wants to read all this, but almost literally nobody reads the blog at all. I paired the rant down from ten paragraphs. Anyhow, my favorite movie this year was either The Last of Sheila or The Bad and the Beautiful (another reason to hate the selection of The Greatest Show). The worst was High Society, which was just dumb. Two best pictures, one silent film, one foreign language film, two musicals, three Westerns, and four Christmas films. Changes are ahead.