The Land that Time Forgot (1975)

World War One German U-boat sinks a passenger ship. A small number of survivors attack the U-boat and take it over (it could happen). They set sail for the closest friendly port but the nasty Germans tamper with the compass and head south instead of west. Out of provisions and fuel, they discover an island. And island that time has forgotten about, apparently.

They decide on an uneasy alliance while they try to refine petroleum from a tar pit into sub fuel. Meanwhile, they explore their new home. Apparently the more upstream you go, the more "evolved" things become. So, that's why there are dinosaurs living alongside hominids. Explains everything.

I watched this for two reasons. First, I vaguely remember seeing a similar movie as a kid and wondered if this was it (it was), and secondly, because of an old britcom my wife was watching. A Fine Romance is about a middle aged Judi Dench and the passionless relationship she is in (interestingly, with her real life husband). Old Judi has a hot young sister played by Susan Penhaligon, who six years earlier was a survivor of a passenger ship torpedoed by a German U-boat and later had to run away from giant puppet dinosaurs.

As I mentioned, I did see this movie as a kid (8ish) but I remembered nothing of the story. I would see a scene and just knew what would happen next, and it would. Well, not much else to say here. Amusing, nostalgic, not much else. No good quotes to end with. AMRU 3.

The Innocents (1961)

A young pretty governess (middle aged pretty Deborah Kerr) is put in charge of two rich orphans by their unconcerned uncle. Seems the old governess died quite unexpectedly. She's not sure she is up to the challenge but uncle doesn't give a rat's ass. Just don't pester him about it.

Well, young miss Giddens starts to see people that aren't there. She then learn more about the dead ex-governess and her relationship with the dead ex-valet; and his influence on the children. Maybe they are still exerting their influence on them. They aren't saying but she knows they see them as well.

Loosely based on Henry James' The Turn of the Screw, The Innocents was exquisitely filmed, excellently written, and wonderfully acted. Movies sometimes throw in faux Victorian dialog and period costumes to give an air of respectability (I'm looking at you, Isle of the Dead!), but The Innocents truly earns it. Few, if any, startle moments, but the taut story line keeps your attention focused. Are ghosts haunting these poor (innocent) children, or is our governess going batty? Can't be sure.

Sadly, I can't think anything else to say about it. No good quotes to close out with, either. It does, however, make me want to read the book. AMRU 4.

Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (1954)

Hunky mountain man Adam Pontipee (hunky Howard Keel) needs a wife, so he heads into town to fetch one. Of course with the women folk being in short supply in the old west, he is assured there are none available. Not to be dissuaded, Adam sets out to do just that.

Adam happens upon young, pretty Milly (Jane Powell) and after forty seconds of convincing, she agrees to be his wife. Once to the Pontipee homestead, she quickly learns that her fate is less of a mountain wife and more indentured servant to Adam and his six boorish brothers. She hatches a plan to con her unsuspecting friends in town to share in her personal hell. But first she must civilize these ginger barbarians.

What a silly-ass movie! Not exactly a girl-power kind of film. At one point the men kidnap the six women and keep them prisoner over the winter to woo their hearts. Ah, traditional marriage! Here's what I found interesting:

MGM was convinced it would be a flop so they cut the budget and made sets instead of shooting on location. The cheesy sets added to it's camp appeal and it was a huge cash cow for the studio. The movie featured catwoman Julie Newmar as one of the captured women. Also, I realized after seeing it that two principle actors were in horror movies I've seen (Keel in The Day of the Triffids and Russ Tamblyn in The Haunting).

The choreographed numbers were quite impressive, if you like that sort of thing. There was a long take wood chopping song number that was technically impressive. Also a barn raising dance number that took almost half of the shooting schedule. Musicals aren't exactly my bag, but it still held my interest. My wife likes them and otherwise hates old movies, so I took the opportunity to watch it with her. AMRU 3.

"A man can't sleep when he sleeps with sheep."

Ghost Parade (1931)

The owners of an old mansion are eager to sell, but strange things are going on, noises from empty rooms and whatnot. Maybe the ghost of and uncle who died during the civil war?

Nope, it's the buyers trying to get the house cheap because they know there is oil on the property. There, I spoiled this crap hole of a movie. Now you won't have to see it!

Maybe that's not fair, but Mack Stennett (producer of over eleven hundred shorts, mostly silent) once lamented that the public was getting harder and harder to make laugh. That attitude of rising to the occasion can be seen in full force here. What could be funnier that someone walking down the stairs slowly realizing that someone in a costume was behind them, but being to stereo typically frightened to turn around and look ...

Over, and over, and over again!

Seriously, this sucker got tedious at 18 minutes! Nuff said about this stinker.

Mack Stennett was one of the founders of Keystone, producers of many early comedies featuring the likes of Charlie Chaplin, Fatty Arbuckle, and, of course, the Keystone Kops. Considered a fairly good actor, mostly by himself, he appeared in over 350 of his own shorts. Luckily few after 1916. For anyone unfamiliar with early comedy shorts, the production pace was unbelievable. Some years he would produce over forty shorts. This schedule left little time for such frivolities like script, rehearsals, and retakes. The end result? Well, lets just say audiences are becoming harder and harder to please.

Skip this one, shall we? What interested me is the haunted house theme. I am interested in when certain cliche's were first used. Nothing of interest here, however.

AMRU 2.0.

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931)

Good Doctor Jekyll (Fredric March) wants to experiment into the darker side of human nature, when ... oh, what's that? You know the story already?

When a film like Jekyll and Hyde (or Jee-kal) is a heralded as this, why anyone would do what seems like a shot for shot remake only ten years later is a mystery to me. I mentioned in my write up of the 1941 version that it was a remake of this. I was wrong. They both are versions of a play based on the story. Either way, the scenes, sets, and story line matched too closely. And now that I've seen both, I can't help but compare.

The biggest difference is where Tracy's Hyde was a big jerk, March's was truly evil. Where Tracy's performance was competent and workmanlike, March was astounding. Every nuance, every subtle jesture was totally separate between gentleman and brute. This may have been the best acting performance I've seen to date.

As this version was "pre-code", Ivy Peterson (Miriam Hopkins) was free to be a prostitute. It was Jekyll's lust for Ivy that encouraged him to experiment on himself. And lustworthy she is. I wish I could find a better still. We're talking serious side-boob. Here Jekyll is busted by his uptight college.

Artsy camera direction what with the POV shots and fancy overlays and wipes, tremendous acting, and awesome makeup (the transformation scene was out of this world), this movie ruined two otherwise good movies simply because of comparison (Werewolf of London was the other). AMRU 4.

"Perhaps you prefer a gentleman. One of those fine-mannered and honorable gentlemen. Those panting hypocrites who like your legs but talk about your garters."

Doctor X (1932)

"... Doctor X will build a creature ..."

No he won't. Sixth movie referenced in the song Science Fiction/Double Feature. Eleven down and item from the bucket list complete.

People are being strangled and partially eaten during the full moon. Papers are calling it the Moon Killer Murders. The police are investigating. They speak with eminent Doctor Xavier (Lionel Atwill), or Doctor X to his homies. He runs a prestigious medical academy and the police both need his expert opinion and suspect that the murder is one of them. So, they interview his posse.

And what a motley crew they are, just bubbling with suspicion. Into the mix arrives a reporter trying to get a scoop and the good doctor's hot daughter (Fay Wray). The cops give Doc X 48 hours to unmask the killer or else they'll start doing their job. Doc invites his five suspects to his spooky mansion for an experiment. Along for the ride are the amusing butler and maid.

Since I started this-here blog, I've greatly expanded my sources of movies. Initially all I had was the trusty public library plus my own humble collection. Then I went to Netflix. Last Christmas I got a Roku box that allowed me to watch Netflix and Amazon Prime from the bedroom, as well as sources of public domain movies via Pub-D-Hub and the like. At the beginning of this month I made the giant leap into the 21st century and subscribed to digital cable. Within that first week two movies I haven't been able to lay my filthy hands on were on TCM. Doctor X was the first.

Doc X was filmed in an early two color Technicolor process that lacks the vibrant colors we know today but worked well in the horror genre. For years the movie was only shown in black and white but the color version was discovered and restored, and that's what TCM is showing. It looked great.

Technically a comic horror, and in many ways a crime drama, Doctor X is both somewhat interesting and somewhat amusing. The early thirties comedy showed through with great comebacks as "What that? Haaaaaay!" Were this movie not in color and not on the Science Fiction/Double Feature list, it would be quite skipable. But that's not the case and it was nice to see Fay in color and Lionel in a leading man role. AMRU 3.

Cop: No one goes in there except stiffs.
Taylor: Oh yea? What's keeping you out here?
Cop: What the? Haaaaay!

Bedlam (1946)

The hot young protege Nell (Anna Lee) of fat Lord Mortimer (Billy "big as a" House) is horrified to see the treatment of patients at an asylum, and after a chance encounter with a Quaker, a strange thing happens to her: she starts giving a crap for someone besides herself. She pressures fatty into mandating reforms at Bedlam asylum and this sits none-too-well with apothecary general Sims (Boris Karloff). So, after hot Nell burns bridges with Big Morty, he and Sims conspire to have troublemaker Nell committed. Serves her right.

My Isle of the Dead DVD from the library was apparently a double feature. Another non-conventional horror movie by Val Lewton, but this time a bit better then than before. Above grade dialog (compared to choppy and sometimes downright Ed Woodian-like of Isle) and excellent sets and costumes. Plus strong acting performances all around. Not too Horror-like, but it had an Evil Karloff and the insanity angle, so it's in the club. Like Isle it was inspired by famous paintings (go look it up on Wikipedia, I ain't got time here!) and they even recreated some in scenes. It'll all go over your head unless you're into art, but suffice to say it's a well crafted film.

Hot Nell is wearing the dress Scarlet made from curtains in Gone with the Wind. Oh, how I hate that movie. One thing I found interesting is how they made Quakers seem downright interesting. I liked Bedlam much better than Isle, but alas, it gets the same score. I can't imagine seeing it a second time. AMRU 3.

"If you ask me, M'Lord, he's a stench in the nostrils, a sewer of ugliness, and a gutter brimming with slop."