She (1965)

Three veterans from the great war, Professor Holly (Peter Cushing), young Leo (John Richardson), and manservant Job, are in Palestine for some reason. When trying to score with a young hottie, poor Leo is shanghaied. He awakes in a palace and is greeted by the beautiful Ayesha (Ursula Andress) who gives him a ring and tells him to give it back to her when they meet again. It’s unclear why. To help him find her again, She gives him a map to a lost Egyptian city that is less detailed than a Denny’s place mat.

So our heroes go looking for this lost city and meet up with trouble as well as the young hottie from the first act. Turns out She, that is Ayesha, is thousands of years old and has been waiting for the return of her departed love. Ayesha is She who waits. Does young Leo look exactly like her departed love? Of course he does.

Based on the same book as the 1935 version, it is one of a dozen or so adaptations. Being somewhat closer to the source material, the setting and initial motivation differ, but the story is essentially the same. Immortal queen from exotic culture waiting for the reincarnation of her dead lover, plus mentor, manservant, and humble hottie along in tow. Leo tries to resist but Ayesha is She who must be obeyed. 

I’m not a big fan of the Hammer aesthetic. The ancient buildings all look freshly painted and the flora look plastic. I mean, they are, but do they need to look like it? It takes away from the atmosphere and attitude that the better of the old time films had. In fairness their intent was to look different and to trade in a small serving of sex appeal and gore.

The source material is a story of Eurocentrism and unabashed colonialism. Originally set in the African interior, Ayesha was the White Queen amongst, you know, those people. Now moved to Egypt and pretty much everyone in the lost city are honkies. Toned down somewhat for sixties audiences, it becomes more a story of the aggressive woman, sexually and politically. Something men of all times fear, Victorian era, the teens, the 60’s, and even today.

She (1965), as it stands, is fairly nonsensical. Why give Leo a ring for him to give right back (and then not take it)? Christopher Lee has so little to do it was a waste to even cast him. Ayesha is irresistibly alluring as well as frighteningly terrible, but we don’t really see it. They tried to touch on smaller story elements that you just can’t explore properly in a 100 minute film. As is, it’s an amusing distraction. Andress is great and all, but for my money I would have stuck with the hottie Ustane. AMRU 3.

Road to Utopia (1945)

Vaudevillian con men Duke and Chester (Bing Crosby and Bob Hope) end their partnership when Chester decides to return to New York. But Duke sees fortune in Utopia, that is, Yukon Territory. You know, because of the gold. Chester is tricked into coming along and on their way they lose all their ill-gotten money. But they steal a map to a gold mine from thugs who stole it earlier in the film. They pretend to be the thugs and the rightful owner of the mine (Dorothy Lamour) tries to steal it from them.

This is the fourth of seven so-called “Road Movies” that Hope and Crosby made together and arguably the best. I was unimpressed with their first one, but felt I needed to give them another chance. Results were mixed.

The film is told in flashback. We begin with Hope and Lamour (Chester and Sal, that is) as an elderly couple who get a surprise visit from Bing/Duke. After a few gags Duke proceeds to explain what happened to him when they last saw each other. This builds anticipation for what happened that fateful day, except we forget the premise by the time it’s resolved.

The big attraction to the Hope and Crosby Road movies is their breezy, lighthearted comedy and a story that doesn’t tax the brain very much. They don’t take themselves or the film very seriously, often breaking character and the fourth wall. The story is occasionally interrupted by a narrator cracking wise about the current action. As such we don’t take them or it very seriously, and it’s a formula that does work.

Just not for me, on this particular day. I can’t explain why many scenes annoyed me, but they did. Maybe it was something I ate. A bit of beef, a blot of mustard, a crumb of cheese, a fragment of underdone potato. I like the actors fine, and I enjoy light comedies. And it’s not like I have high standards.

Road to Utopia won’t have you rolling on the floor. Genius comedy it is not. But it is very likable and easy to watch, personal experience aside. I will force it to an AMRU 3 because I think under normal circumstances it deserves it.

"And I thought this was going to be an A picture.”

Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953)

Showgirl Lorelei (Marilyn Monroe) is engaged to a millionaire dork and for reasons of the plot goes on an all-expense paid trip to France without him. Co-star Dorothy (Jane Russell) goes along as chaperone because if there is any hint of scandal, sugar-daddy’s daddy will forbid the marriage. Once embarked, Lorelei proceeds to look for another millionaire to milk. Hint, hint.

Arguably the film that made Monroe a superstar, it’s not exactly a story of women’s empowerment. Lorelei is an unabashed gold digger, obsessed with diamonds. Dorothy, meanwhile, just wants to ‘make love’, money be damned. Lorelei’s target is the ruddy and bloated Piggy Beekman (ruddy and bloated Charles Coburn). Piggy owns a diamond mine and likes to court the young ladies, once he gets away from his shrew of a wife.

Everything starts to unravel as the ship approaches Europe, but song, dance, and musical comedy magic solves everything. But let’s focus on a particular phrase that struck my attention: Make Love.

In modern parlance, making love directly means the physical act of sex. Not so in old movies, where it simply refers to the act of courtship. Dorothy makes reference to another character making love with her, but there is no inference to the modern sense. Just dinner, drinks, and dancing. This also tames down the line from The Inspector General (1949) where the Mayor famously exclaims: “... he even made love to my wife! How could I doubt that he was an Inspector General?”

So this begs the question, when did the filmmakers recognize the changing meaning, and could they have been using it to imply scandal with a wink and nod to a younger audience? Seriously asking.

Technically Russell is the star, but Monroe steals the show. If you remember a single song from the film, it’s hers. And you just can’t take your eyes off of her. The studio hired a coach to adjust the sexiness of the actresses' movements: tone Jane’s upward and Marilyn’s downward. They didn’t do enough because next to Marilyn, pretty Jane looked almost manly. Marilyn may have been the Blonde that Gentlemen Prefer, but she was paid $500 a week compared to Jane’s $150,000 total. So, who's the gold digger now?

The film’s message seems to be that it's fine for pretty women to play dumb and use rich men for their money. Of course I may be reading too much into this piece of fluff. Its 1953 and Howard Hawks was no feminist, after all. It was amusing enough with maybe a few too many songs. Not my kind of film but a worthwhile watch. AMRU 3.

Trouble in Paradise (1932)

Con artists Lily (Miriam Hopkins) and Gaston (Herbert Marshall) cross paths and fall in love. They team up to swindle air-head perfume heiress Madame Colet (Kay Francis), but things become shaky when Gaston crosses paths with a previous mark and starts to get a little too close to his current one.

Miriam Hopkins was TCM’s star of the month, and the least I could do would be to see one of her films. I knew nothing about her but discovered she was the hottie in the good version of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Here she was quite quirky and adorable. Herbert Marshall and Kay Francis too.

Marshall had but one leg, lost in the Great War, and you wouldn’t know it. They used a stand-in when he needed to run up stairs. Clever and charming, he and his growing relationship with Madame Colet is the primary focus of the film. Miriam’s Lily has a secondary but still important role in the scam. It was probably Kay’s performance that stood out the most for me. Between the three actors, they had fourteen spouses. Hollywood, am I right?

Veteran character actors Edward Everett Horton and Charles Ruggles play as an unlikely comedy team, two men vying unsuccessfully for Colet’s affection. Friends, but not really. They both have appeared in a ton of films and always stand out.

Funny, charming, and clever, Ernst Lubitsch lives up to his reputation. AMRU 3.5.