Death on the Nile (1978)

An odd collection of people embark on a luxury cruise down the Nile river. Most have an antagonistic connection to the lovely Linnet Ridgeway. I hope she enjoys the cruise.

This follow-up production to Murder on the Orient Express swaps in Peter Ustinov for Albert Finney for the role of Hercule Poirot. Finney found the makeup uncomfortable and the train too hot, so filming in Egypt was out of the question. Ustinov went on to play the role five more times, three being in TV movies.

Like Orient Express, and the Kenneth Branagh versions, we have a star studded cast. David Niven, Bette Davis, Angela Lansbury, Maggie Smith, and Olivia Hussey are traveler suspects. Mia Farrow was delightfully hysterical. Davis was quoted as saying "In the older days, they'd have built the Nile for you. Nowadays, films have become travelogues, and actors stuntmen." I can’t help but hear that in her voice.

The wife an I seem to watch a lot of crime mysteries, and recently been going through the Miss Marple’s from the 1980s, so this fit in nicely. It's interesting that Marple is turned into TV shows and Poirot into feature films. Mostly. I'll keep an eye out for the Margaret Rutherford films.

Death on the Nile is an excellent mystery with fantastic performances. It's a bit long but well worth the time. It deserves a rewatch. AMRU 4.

"What the hell is going on?
We're going through your private papers, sir, isn't that obvious?"

…And God Created Woman (1954)

Orphan Juliete (Brigitte Bardot) is a wild child, both shamed and coveted equally in her village. One admirer is an old rich guy who wants to buy a shipyard so he can build a casino. Also in the mix is handsome Antoine, who is returning to St. Tropez to run his family shipyard.

Cowritten and directed by Bardot’s then husband, Roger Vadim, the film made her an international sex symbol. It was a mixed victory for Vadim as she had an affair with her costar. Their marriage would shortly come to an end. He would direct a remake in 1988 with Rebecca De Morney, to lesser success.

Isabelle Corey, hot off her introduction in Bob le Flambeur, has a small role as Juliete’s friend. Old rich guy was played by Gurd Jurgens who at the time of filming was … forty one? Jesus!

And thus France's answer to Marilyn Monroe was unleashed on the world. Typical of non-Hollywood films, the elements mentioned above don’t play out as expected. And there are elements that will be problematic for those who forget this is 1950’s France. Take it for what it is. Brigitte Bardot is absolutely unforgettable, but unfortunately the story is. AMRU 3.

The Return of the Vampire (1943)

A scientist kills a vampire in Britain back in 1918 by stabbing it with a railroad spike, as one does. Twenty five years later Nazi bombs open his coffin, the spike is accidentally removed, and Armand Tesla (Bela Lugosi) is on the loose again. I’m starting to think that these Nazi people aren’t all that great.

This was intended to be a direct sequel to the 1941 classic but Universal threatened to sue. Bela is back as Dracula in everything but name. Same costume, same accent, same mannerisms. Fairly little of the story needed to be changed to avoid court.

This movie features perhaps the worst werewolf (Matt Willis) I’ve ever seen. In man-wolf form he is polite, articulate, and completely ineffectual. Wolfie was controlled by Tesla until 1918 when he became a kind and faithful lab assistant for twenty five years without aging a day. When Tesla returns, he goes back to being a mostly useless werewolf.

This was a hard film to find. It’s not in TCM’s regular repertoire nor could I find it streaming. It doesn’t have a great reputation but it is, mostly, Bela being Dracula, and if for nothing else was interesting for that. Turns out it was available on YouTube.

The Return of the Vampire Isn't great but it's not bad by any stretch. Coming in at a brief 69 minutes, some of the dialog seems inexplicably rushed. While it pales compared to the better in the genre, it’s fairly original and very watchable. It’s also nice to see Bela as Dracula, even if by another name. AMRU 3.

Sons of the Desert (1933)

Laurel and Hardy (Laurel and Hardy), loyal members of the fraternity Sons of the Desert, take a pledge to attend their convention in Chicago. The problem is their wives won’t let them go, so the boys hatch a plan …

Early comedy great Charley Chase has a small role. He appeared in only nineteen feature films but in over 260 comedy shorts, mostly in the silent era, before dying at age 46. He is frequently considered the forth great silent film comedians after "The Big Three", but there are a few running for that title.

This is essentially a henpecked husband story. Hardy is “King in his castle” but has to resort to trickery to get what he wants, then must face the consequences when found out. A TV staple for decades, but back in 1933 it might have held a tinge of originality. Unfortunately, we must watch it with modern eyes, and the comic potential is rather limited. And, as I have asserted before, Laurel and Hardy’s comedy didn’t stand the test of time. It’s just not funny, not to me anyhow.

I noticed something about how the boys framed their bits. It was almost always with Stan on screen left and Oliver on the right. There was only one exception, when they were trying to share a tiny bed for the night. If I watch another, I will take note. Sharing a bed was a very common gag for those two. I wonder …

I’ve given the boys another chance, and again they come up short. A victim of changing tastes, or maybe because they’ve been copied by so many over the century, but they just weren’t funny or interesting. Perhaps unfair but I call them like I sees them. AMRU 2.5.