Thursday, March 17, 2011

The Beast with a Million Eyes (1955)

I've moved The Beast with a Million Eyes to the top of my list because I promised to take part in Project Terrible, a blog-a-thon where we challenge ourselves to watch the worst movies imaginable. This would have been fun had I the time to properly participate, but I don't. This will be my last entry. Sorry guys. After this, I have five movies I've already seen but haven't made time to post.

Don't know the premise of the movie? Don't worry! Evil alien explains it at the very beginning. You see, his species used up their home planet so he wants to take over ours. Damn interlopers! He will accomplish this (all alone, it turns out) by taking over the minds the lower animals first then the lesser men. By doing so, he will be able to watch all mankind. He will be known as The Beast with a Million Eyes!!!!

So, here's how things pan out. Said alien lands in an extremely remote area outside a small family farm. On said farm lives a man, his hysterical wife (that's BEFORE she finds out about the aliens), and his semi-hot daughter. Also is a "handy man" called "Him". He don't have a name so folks just call him Him. Clever. Him don't talk. Him just do his chores and stare at the wife and daughter. Him like pretty women. Him like wife and daughter too.

Father, hysterical wife, and daughter mostly go about their dysfunctional lives almost oblivious to the main plot of the movie. Low flying "air craft" causes lots of glass to break, making hysterical wife extra hysterical. Animals seem to be acting strange causing Father to go "Hmmm." Eventually dad concludes that the only explanation is that an alien must have landed in the desert and is trying to take over the world. It's the only logical conclusion.

So, the family, aided by the deputy, go into the desert to sing combaya and defeat the alien. Wow, did this movie drag! No action, mediocre acting, bland dialog, this movie had nothing. Now, while watching I was waffling between giving it a 2.0 and 2.5. It was, after all, mostly watchable. In the end, it earns a 2. It was boring.

While there were four main characters (not including the alien and animals), there were two others. An old foolish man who gets killed by his cow and Deputy Larry, played by Dick Sargent. Folks may remember him as the second and slightly more butch Darrin Stephens. There may have been a quick scene at the police station, but I forget.

So, before I go, here are my last cuts. Apparently daughter was a "lesser man". The bathing suit she wore would have been appropriate for swimming in January. The alien isn't known as the beast with a million eyes because nobody found out about him until the very end. And how do you expect to take over the world by starting in the middle of nowhere?

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