The Blob (1958)

“Teenagers” see a shooting star that is revealed to contain some sort of growing mass, a “Glob” if you will, that attaches itself to flesh and dissolves its victim. Local authorities won’t listen to our heroes because they are “teenagers”, not that they did a terribly good job trying.

A half step above the regular sci-fi/horror drive-in fare of the era, The Blob is remembered mostly because it was Steve McQueen’s first starring role. I don’t myself as a McQueen fan but there is something about his performances that draw your attention.

Another thing that makes The Blob stand out is the uniqueness of a non-Newtonian monster. I can’t think of a precedent. The low budget special effects were quite good. The only problem points are the cringe-worthy scenes where “teens” try to behave like teens. Once past that, we have a fairly good paranoia monster movie with a pretty good climax.

The Blob rises above its budget and makes for an enjoyable watch. Maybe it would not be a classic if not for the casting, but it's fun and we do get very good performances from McQueen and the prettiest girl in Mayberry. AMRU 3.

Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966)

A family on vacation gets lost and mistakenly stays at a cult leader’s compound. Low budget antics ensue.

Insurance salesman Harold Warren bet that he could make a film on an extremely small budget. Say what you will about this turd, it most definitely is a film. Low budget and no talent permeates all corners of it. The script, story, acting, score, and photography were all terrible. The actors didn’t seem to know how to react in dramatic scenes, or even where to look. Their community theater troupe would totally have fired them.

A classic amateur writing mistake is to have characters repeat points the writer feels are important. This happens throughout. Also, as the film was shot silent and dubbed later, some of The Master’s wives made exaggerated motions figuring dialog would be inserted later. Yea, that would have been a good idea. But probably most damning is the speed at which the film was edited. When it takes three hours to digitally edit a twenty minute youtube video, it is quite revealing that it took only “three to four hours” to edit a 70 minute, 16 mm film. Clearly Manos wasn’t as much edited as stitched together.

I was annoyed that the Dad character was easily twenty years older than his very pretty wife, but later realized he was the director, so that made sense. Also, he was a real dick, declaring he will stay at the cult compound despite the caretaker being against the idea, his wife's protests, and enough red flags to cancel the Nascar season. Then he orders poor Torgo around like he’s their servant. That man’s poor knees! Dad deserves to die, just saying.

But let’s not focus on the negative. What about this film wasn’t the absolute worst? Well, the narrative was understandable. That’s a plus. There was a theme. It’s hands! Also the ending was somewhat satisfying.

Manos: The Hands of Fate would have faded into obscurity had it not been featured on Mystery Science Theater 3000. There really is no enjoyment to be had here other than to goof on it. That said, it wasn’t the worst film in the world. It’s fourth. AMRU 1.5.

The Little Shop of Horrors (1960)

Klutzy flower shop worker Seymour grows a bizarre plant to impress a pretty co-worker and save his job. Turns out the plan thrives on blood. Oh, and it talks.

Ah, Roger Corman. His films feel like twisted art experiments. But instead of trying to reinvent narrative or challenge the tropes of cinema, he tried to complete each film as quickly and cheaply as possible. There are many Corman stories. Having finished The Raven early, he shot The Terror on the same set, with the same actors, and without a script. Going on location is expensive, so why not shoot two films? The script for the second film wasn’t finished so he brought the writer along and made him a principal character.

Here, Corman had a better than fair script. It felt like a stage play adaptation, and I thought it was. The sets were reused and the actors well rehearsed therefore principle photography took only two days. That’s right, 48 hours. I like a low budget quickie maybe a bit more than the next guy, but come on Roger. You’re taking the fun out of it.

Jack Nicholson has a very small role as a masochistic dental patient. All of the performances were good if two dimensional, but it felt rushed. We could have gotten to know the Joe Friday-esque detective and the hypochondriac mother better had the pace been allowed it to breathe. Not that I would argue for a much longer version.

Overall, The Little Shop of Horror isn’t bad. Silly, rushed, and not as funny as it could be. I suppose I need to see the remake now. AMRU 2.5.

Invisible Ghost (1941)

Seeing the wife who ran off on him, standing in his lawn causes Bela Lugosi to go into a trance and kill people.

Let me get this straight. The rich and influential Charles Kessler is so traumatized by his wife leaving him that he won’t leave the house in case she returns. Even though people are being murdered inside the house! Next we learn that the gardener is secretly hiding her in the garden shed for who knows what reason. She was hurt in a car accident that killed her lover and is now in a semi-vegetative state. So each night she leaves the shed and stands in the lawn, magically compelling Bela to the window, causing his murderous trance.

That’s not a spoiler. This is all established early. And he is Bela Lugosi after all.

None of this makes any sense. But taken as read, how terrible must the cops be if multiple people are murdered inside a house and none of the occupants are even suspected? There were at least two murders prior to the film’s beginning. No checking for forced entry, securing perimeter, nothing that even resembles police work. Just “Gosh, we’re stumped!” In fact Bela and another possible suspect seem to drive the investigation, finding evidence and deciding how to proceed.

It took me a while to realize that I’ve seen this one before. The year before my blog I watched a bunch of films that were never covered. This was one. It should be no mystery how I forgot about it, this being squarely in Bela's Nick Cage phase of role selection.

Invisible Ghost lacks atmosphere, mystery, and runs short on drama. It really feels like they started filming with a partial script and were winging it much of the time. The best thing I can say is that it is short and isn’t painful to watch. In fact, Bela as a genuinely nice guy who has no idea he’s the murder is a unique angle. I just wish there was a story to go along with it. AMRU 2.5.

The Cat Girl (1957)

Pretty Leonora is summoned by her uncle to his country mansion regarding her inheritance. She is told to come alone, but traumatized by her time there she brings her husband and some friends. On her way she crosses paths with her old Dr. flame for whom she still has feelings. Turns out Leonora also inherits the family curse, where she is somehow connected to this leopard that kills when she is angry. Good thing Dr. flame is a shrink.

Cat Girl has a certain Cat People feel but it isn’t a direct remake. There is a pretty girl, a curse, a cat, and violence, but the story is very different. And not to Cat Girl’s credit. While the former is taught and compelling, this is quite plodding.

Our good doctor Marlowe is our hero analog, but he is a poor one. He has science and wants to help poor Leonora but he does a terrible job. He is pretty harsh to her and makes terrible decisions. Then, at her darkest time, he decides she should leave the sanitarium and spend time with his wife, alone, even though she has been openly hostile towards her. What the hell, man! Plus actor Robert Ayres mumbles all of his dialog. And, it seems their romantic backstory occurred when she was a teen and he was in his mid-thirties.

I try not to impose Hollywood values on English films, but they can be so stiff and formal that they feel like a TV adaptation of a stage play. This being a prime example. Everyone here is pretty rude and even our protagonist turns into the monster. Also, much of the dialog is downright wonky. Cat Girl has a fair amount of atmosphere, some good ideas, and is pretty short, but that doesn’t keep it from being dull. AMRU 2.5. Watch Cat People instead. Not the Nastassja Kinski one.

The Green Slime (1968)

An asteroid is headed straight towards Earth, so an emergency plan enlists the dashing and handsome Commander Jack Rankin to save the day. First stop is a space station commanded by his former friend, Vince Elliott. I wonder if a hot, Italian red-head has anything to do with their personal problems.

Anyhow, our team takes another rocket to the meatball ... I mean asteroid, to carefully place explosives into a six inch hole they dug. You can’t just put them anywhere. I mean, science and all. The mission is a success, but a drop of green goo is carried back to the space station. But this is no ordinary green goo. Energy of any kind causes it to grow at an alarming rate. Wiggly rubber monster mayhem ensues.

This film is notorious for it’s campiness. Released the same year as 2001: A Space Odyssey, it was never going to get much respect from the Sci-Fi crowd. Burdened with a very 1950’s story and done at a sliver of 2001’s budget, this is a film out of time. Knowing this I think the studio intentionally targeted the camp angle. The film’s title and matching theme song clearly don’t take the material seriously, but there is no indication that the cast and crew were in on the joke. They played it straight and the set pieces and corresponding miniatures were interesting and well designed, although they would occasionally look like they were made by a high school theater troupe on a craft store field trip.

Which takes us to the film’s biggest problem. A space station being menaced by Japanese children in green rubber suits. This might fly in a 1955 drive in, but science fiction was now an artform. Audiences would, at best, giggle at this. I think the filmmakers tried to make a serious film, but they didn’t have the material, the monster, or the timing. And there are more problems here. The character’s confused and annoying backstory, for example. Interestingly, this was a Japan/Hollywood collaboration and the Japanese release omitted the tedious love triangle, shortening the film by about twelve minutes. This could not have been a bad choice.

I wanted to like The Green Slime. But even while ignoring the shadow of Kubrick, we still don’t have a terribly interesting film. It didn’t bring nothing to the table, but still, it didn’t bring a whole lot. It could have been so much closer to mediocre. AMRU 2.5.