King Solomon’s Mines (1937)

White hunter Allan Quartermain (Cedric Hardwicke) takes rich men on safari in Africa. Along the way he picks up an Irish father and daughter in need of a ride. When dad learns that the fabled King Solomon’s Mines are nearby, he takes off alone across the desert. When daughter (Anna Lee) learns of this, she and the enigmatic Umbopa (Paul Robeson) steal a carriage to go off looking for him. Of course Allan and his team follow suit. Let’s talk about Mister Robeson.

Paul Robeson and his amazing baritone pipes rose to Hollywood fame with Show Boat (1936). He chose to leave Hollywood for the UK where he expected to find better roles for black men. One of these roles is as the aforementioned Umbopa in the first major adaptation of King Solomon’s Mines. He was angered when he saw that scenes shot later depicted the Africans as stereotypes and in 1942 said he would quit acting until there were better roles for African Americans. He would never do another film.

I’m curious what exactly Robeson objected to. Compared to most films of its era, it was downright culturally sensitive. And keep in mind the source material was a little problematic to begin with. I’m not saying the filmmakers dodged every bullet, but this experiment here has appropriately lowered my expectations on such matters. I give them credit for making the controversial decision to have the African warriors played by actual African warriors. I know it came from the book, but why exactly did Allan need to identify himself as a “white” hunter? Were people reading his advert worrying they might be stuck with a purple hunter?

Thought lost for many years, here Allan Quartermain is not the daring action hero. Brave and capable, yes, but not yet the Indiana Jones inspiration. I have the 1950 version on the DVR and expect it to be more swashbucklier. This is the more famous book-turned-film from author Sir H. Rider Haggard, who also wrote She.

I remember a character with the name Allan Quartermain on a TV drama I used to watch that happened to be on during the daytime MY SISTER MADE ME WATCH IT, GET OFF MY BACK! Anyway, the lovely Anna Lee was apparently on General Hospital during the 80’s. You know, that Luke and Laura storyline really didn’t age well.

Albeit a bit clunky, and in the world of Google Maps, the Lost World genre loses some of its impact. But still, King Solomon's Mines is a better than fair adventure story. I’d consider watching it again, but I confess Robeson’s “Mighty Mountain” songs got a little tiresome. AMRU 3.

The Manchurian Candidate (1962)

Korean war heroes return home but soon realize that something isn’t right. Major Marco (Frank Sinatra) slowly figures out that they all were brainwashed with some nefarious goal in mind. Oh, and Janet Leigh is here for some reason.

Six foot 2 Henry Silva played Korean man-servant Chunjin. He has a fight scene that apparently broke Sinatra’s hand. Angela Lansbury plays our brain-washed main character’s less-than-motherly mother, despite being only three years his senior. Inspector Luger (James Gregory) is his McCarthyesque step-dad.

The Manchurian Candidate is a fantastic film, but not without its flaws. Characters would sometimes behave illogically and Janet Leigh’s character made no sense at all. But it deserves its reputation and stands the test of time.

Avoidance of spoilers keeps me from discussing further. The brainwashing is established early on but there still are mysteries to solve. Sinatra again proves he was a real actor and Lansbury was, well, amazing. It's a slow burn with a solid finale. It should have been higher on my priority list. Oh, and if anyone asks, my uncle did not appear in this film. AMRU 4.

Bombshell (1933)

Lola Burns (Jean Harlow) is a big movie star and sex symbol. Kinda like Jean Harlow. She wants a simpler life, maybe raise a family, but the studio, her publicist, and her family of leeches conspire to screw that all up for her. Roll credits.

Lots of contract players appear here. Frank Morgan, you know, the Wizard, is her dad. Louise Beavers is her maid, taking time off from being everyone else’s maid. This is the tenth film I’ve seen her in and I think she was a maid in every one of them. Expect General Spanky, where she was a slave. Abusive drunk Ted Healy played Lola’s abusive drunk brother. He is best known for getting the Three Stooges together before his abusiveness and drunkenness made working with him untenable. He’d die in a bar fight at age 41.

Ostensibly Bombshell is about Clara Bow, who had just recently quit show business to settle down, raise some children, and live tragically ever after. Many story points, however, mirror Jean’s life. On the fictitious set she even recreates a famous scene from one of her earlier films, one for the boy’s in the lab.

Here I learned of Klieg eye. Klieg lights were the bright arc lights used on studio sets back in the day. Their brightness was essential for early film but caused a condition called Actinic conjunctivitis or ultraviolet photokeratitis, similar to snow blindness. It’s mentioned in passing here. It’s fun to learn about old-timey ailments, like this and Jake leg. Sorry, boss. I can't come into work today. I have the Jake leg and Klieg eye.

Interestingly, Bombshell is the first of Harlow’s films I’ve seen where she is the sole protagonist. The focus is entirely on her and the twenty two year old carries her weight. This pre-code screwball comedy puts her into outfits more revealing than your average soap opera and had her speak dialog less resque than your average TV commercial. Unfortunately the humor is too broad to become invested in the situation and the dialog too early-sound-era to always hear it properly. It was funny at times, just not in the actually-laugh way. AMRU 2.5. Am I in a rut again? I’m in a rut again.

The Umbrellas of Cherbourg (1964)

Genevieve and Guy (Catherine Deneuve and Nino Castelnuovo) are young lovers wanting to be married. Unfortunately, life gets in the way. The TCM description included a second act spoiler, but I won’t go any further. Other films deserve to be spoiled, but not this one.

Umbrellas of Cherbourg is referred to as a “sung-through” musical, meaning 100% of the dialog is sung. Not like a song, just sung. Quite frankly this irritated me a bit early on. It’s not an efficient way to tell a story. Plus reading subtitles draws your eye from the visual side of the story, which is a shame. Cherbourg looks terrific.

I needed to watch something different. Too many generic old-Hollywood comedies and lower-tier genre pictures, I was in a rut. I think I’ve been too focused on checking boxes rather than watching films I would actually enjoy. I immediately turned to foreign film, of which I have a few at my disposal. To this day I haven’t seen a Sophia Loren film (for the blog, that is), something I must rectify. TCM doesn’t run her films very often, but that’s no excuse. Catherine Deneuve is also underrepresented and I heard good things about Umbrellas, so there it is.

And the nineteen year old Deneuve was fantastic. A very mature and convincing performance. Those expecting to be overwhelmed by her charm and beauty may be disappointed. Be prepared for serious acting. As serious as it gets in a musical, that is. If only TCM would play Belle de Jour.

Umbrellas is a film about young lovers being separated, growing up, making choices, and what comes of it all. It’s a rather touching film. If you are turned off by all of the dialog being sung, well, get over it. The movie deserves a little effort. The story isn’t complicated but it bears rewatching. Once familiar with the story, and a few French phrases, the watcher can concentrate on the cinematography and mise-en-scene, which are spectacular. I will rewatch it, if I can find someone to watch it with me. AMRU 4.

Queen of Outer Space (1958)

Four astronauts on their way to a space station find it under attack by, I’m guessing, Chuck Jones. It is destroyed, our heroes are thrown off course, and land on a frozen world. Because the gravity is about the same as Earth, they know that the atmosphere would naturally be breathable. So, they venture out into a lush tropical jungle and wonder if there is any life on the planet. Man, is the science wonky here.

Let’s set our expectations appropriately. Four astronauts land on a planet entirely peopled by hot chicks in mini-skirts. Front loading the story with The Martian-level science wasn’t going to happen. This is pure male fantasy and wish fulfillment. If there is a moral to this story, it’s that a woman’s life has no purpose unless she has a man to, I don’t know, make sandwiches for. Besides, women? Run things?

The majority of sarcastic comments come from one particular astronaut allowing the others to roll their eyes in implied superiority. See, we’re not so bad because we aren’t as bad as him. Doesn’t work, though, because they are all guilty to some degree. Besides, our chauvinist never learns a hint of a lesson. In fact, clueless seems to be the defining characteristic for them all. They are sentenced to death by a people with vastly superior technology, and never take their situation seriously.

Zsa Zsa Gabor plays a scientist who leads an insurrection to overthrow the queen, which is amazing timing for our heroes. There is a story that Zsa Zsa became very difficult on set because the crew were ogling the younger actresses instead of ogling her. I really hope that’s true.

I’m not going to camouflage the fact that I unironically enjoyed Queen of Outer Space. It wasn’t original, well acted, or clever. The sets look pretty good but they were all borrowed from World Without End, a better film I liked less because it tried to be taken seriously. The launch footage was lifted directly from NASA stock footage (and played in the wrong aspect ration), then show a completely different looking rocket once in space. Maybe I found it charming because it dared to be this dumb. It was easy to watch and afforded me some good laughs. AMRU 3. I am not ashamed.

"Twenty-six million miles from Earth, and the little dolls are just the same."

She (1965)

Three veterans from the great war, Professor Holly (Peter Cushing), young Leo (John Richardson), and manservant Job, are in Palestine for some reason. When trying to score with a young hottie, poor Leo is shanghaied. He awakes in a palace and is greeted by the beautiful Ayesha (Ursula Andress) who gives him a ring and tells him to give it back to her when they meet again. It’s unclear why. To help him find her again, She gives him a map to a lost Egyptian city that is less detailed than a Denny’s place mat.

So our heroes go looking for this lost city and meet up with trouble as well as the young hottie from the first act. Turns out She, that is Ayesha, is thousands of years old and has been waiting for the return of her departed love. Ayesha is She who waits. Does young Leo look exactly like her departed love? Of course he does.

Based on the same book as the 1935 version, it is one of a dozen or so adaptations. Being somewhat closer to the source material, the setting and initial motivation differ, but the story is essentially the same. Immortal queen from exotic culture waiting for the reincarnation of her dead lover, plus mentor, manservant, and humble hottie along in tow. Leo tries to resist but Ayesha is She who must be obeyed. 

I’m not a big fan of the Hammer aesthetic. The ancient buildings all look freshly painted and the flora look plastic. I mean, they are, but do they need to look like it? It takes away from the atmosphere and attitude that the better of the old time films had. In fairness their intent was to look different and to trade in a small serving of sex appeal and gore.

The source material is a story of Eurocentrism and unabashed colonialism. Originally set in the African interior, Ayesha was the White Queen amongst, you know, those people. Now moved to Egypt and pretty much everyone in the lost city are honkies. Toned down somewhat for sixties audiences, it becomes more a story of the aggressive woman, sexually and politically. Something men of all times fear, Victorian era, the teens, the 60’s, and even today.

She (1965), as it stands, is fairly nonsensical. Why give Leo a ring for him to give right back (and then not take it)? Christopher Lee has so little to do it was a waste to even cast him. Ayesha is irresistibly alluring as well as frighteningly terrible, but we don’t really see it. They tried to touch on smaller story elements that you just can’t explore properly in a 100 minute film. As is, it’s an amusing distraction. Andress is great and all, but for my money I would have stuck with the hottie Ustane. AMRU 3.

Road to Utopia (1945)

Vaudevillian con men Duke and Chester (Bing Crosby and Bob Hope) end their partnership when Chester decides to return to New York. But Duke sees fortune in Utopia, that is, Yukon Territory. You know, because of the gold. Chester is tricked into coming along and on their way they lose all their ill-gotten money. But they steal a map to a gold mine from thugs who stole it earlier in the film. They pretend to be the thugs and the rightful owner of the mine (Dorothy Lamour) tries to steal it from them.

This is the fourth of seven so-called “Road Movies” that Hope and Crosby made together and arguably the best. I was unimpressed with their first one, but felt I needed to give them another chance. Results were mixed.

The film is told in flashback. We begin with Hope and Lamour (Chester and Sal, that is) as an elderly couple who get a surprise visit from Bing/Duke. After a few gags Duke proceeds to explain what happened to him when they last saw each other. This builds anticipation for what happened that fateful day, except we forget the premise by the time it’s resolved.

The big attraction to the Hope and Crosby Road movies is their breezy, lighthearted comedy and a story that doesn’t tax the brain very much. They don’t take themselves or the film very seriously, often breaking character and the fourth wall. The story is occasionally interrupted by a narrator cracking wise about the current action. As such we don’t take them or it very seriously, and it’s a formula that does work.

Just not for me, on this particular day. I can’t explain why many scenes annoyed me, but they did. Maybe it was something I ate. A bit of beef, a blot of mustard, a crumb of cheese, a fragment of underdone potato. I like the actors fine, and I enjoy light comedies. And it’s not like I have high standards.

Road to Utopia won’t have you rolling on the floor. Genius comedy it is not. But it is very likable and easy to watch, personal experience aside. I will force it to an AMRU 3 because I think under normal circumstances it deserves it.

"And I thought this was going to be an A picture.”